


Mistakes were made

by Lubylu1989



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angry Sex, Dominant Kylo Ren, Drunkenness, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Love/Hate, M/M, Possessive Kylo Ren, Smut, Sorry Not Sorry, Was supposed to be a one off but plot happened, reylo trash
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-03
Updated: 2018-02-28
Packaged: 2018-05-24 12:14:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 14
Words: 53,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6153396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lubylu1989/pseuds/Lubylu1989
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A one off that formed into a plot<br/>How could one night of letting loose end up with such a mistake? A combination of obsession and alcohol ends up with Rey in bed with her arch nemisis, resulting in a bond neither of them expected. Through it Kylo pursues Rey, deciding it to be the perfect tool and weapon against the jedi. While rey struggles to comprehend what it means for her future. Potential dark /grey Rey. Definite smut with more to come later. Really im just having fun exploring my idea of what a force bond is and where it can take these two so jump on and enjoy the ride. Reader feedback and suggestions welcomed!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Rey had never been to Coruscant before, hell she had never been _anywhere_ like this before. Rey had never seen a planet so vibrant with life. The levelled orientated planet was overwhelming to her and when she had first stepped foot on it she had been in utter awe. Here the lower she went the scarce the view of the sky was and it took a while for Rey’s lungs to adjust to the smog. She had no idea where Poe was leading her but he had her hand loosely in his to make sure Rey didn’t get lost along the way. She bumped into a few people, apologising profusely and every now and then she would ask Poe about the types of species they passed. This place was a multi-cultural society and while she had come in contact with a few races the sheer volume of them here made her realise how big the galaxy actually was. Rey found herself wondering what their home planets were like and why they had left, choosing to come to the Galactic city. Did they come to seek fortune, fame or something else entirely?

The lower they went down the more the quality of life declined and Rey moved closer to Finn. She wasn’t scared but her hand fiddled with the fabric over her lightsaber that hid it from view just in case. Master Luke had always told her to be aware of her surroundings and a few of the people down here were looking at her as if she was an easy mark. She could take them easily but Rey would rather not bring attention to herself. Poe on the other hand seemed completely at ease, weaving his way through the crowd as if he had done this a million times before. The X-wing pilot had begged her to come with him, stating it was a matter of life and death. Rey jumped at the chance to see what used to be the centre of the republic.

“Here we are!” Poe exclaimed, stopping in front of brightly lit bar. Rey cringed at the vibrant neon lights that flashed in a sporadic manner. It looked tacky and slightly run down, music that Rey had never heard before flowed out and numerous patrons stood outside, mingling and holding drinks in their hands.

“You brought me half way across the galaxy to _drink?”_ She asked, feigning displeasure. Inside though she was excited. Rey had heard numerous stories about the nightlife here from fellow resistance members and she was keen to make memories of her own.

“Well. I’m kind of bummed about Finn being away for so long on a mission and I know you’ve hated being stuck on Hoth. I thought it would be nice if we got out and had a bit of fun. Everything has been so intense lately with the First Order stepping up their game that I was scared we’d collapse from adrenaline fatigue” Poe shrugged, scratching the back of his head nervously.

Rey had suspected that Poe had feelings for Finn awhile back and she had noticed the charming man moping around the past few days after her dark skinned friend’s departure. Leia had sent him to a base in the outer regions where another Resistance base was being set up. She felt that his knowledge of First Order training techniques would come in handy and sent him to demonstrate how they fought so they could stand their ground if they ever came under attack. Luke on the other hand had decided Rey’s training had advanced enough for him to official name her a Jedi. He had left in search of other force-sensitive user’s after Rey gave him a gentle push to re-establish his academy. Rey felt that had had regained his motivation to create a new Jedi order after his training with her went well and Leia had confessed she held no blame towards him for Ben’s betrayal.

“Alright but I have a few conditions!” Rey smiled, clapping her hands together “No talk of the First Order, no moping and if I get hammered I’m blaming _you_ ” Poe’s face brightened with a smile Rey had realised she had missed seeing and he took her hand once more, rushing into the bar.

Rey looked around, the club was huge. From the outside it looked miniscule but the front had been deceptive. It was a two story building with stairs that wound up to the top level. A bar was situated on both levels, staffed by Twi’leks that Rey found absolutely stunning. The place was lit up dimly with Neon tubes lining the walls, outer crest of the floors and railing. There was no band, only speakers that blasted upbeat and mechanically sounding beats that Rey found herself bopping along to. A few tables were scattered around, with booths on the upper floor. What took Rey aback though that a population that would amount to that on Jakku had squeezed in. There was no race boundary here either as everyone seemed to just be enjoying themselves, enjoying the feeling of freedom from their usual, down trodden lives. Here there was no Resistance, no First Order. Here it was just a bunch of people looking to forget their troubles and drown their sorrows. Each person a kindred spirit trying to pretend that the galaxy wasn’t under attack.

“Jessika is over there” Poe yelled in her ear over the music, pointing to the humanoid, female pilot who was waving to them excitedly. “I overheard her this morning saying her and a couple of others were coming here so I asked if we could tag along”

“Oh! That’s really cool” Rey smiled. On Hoth Rey had become good friends with Jessika. She found the brunette to be rather outgoing and bubbling, a nice relief from the solemn atmosphere of having to relocate the Resistance base after it had come under attack. Poe waved her off, saying he would get them their drinks and Rey went over to her closet girlfriend who was sitting with a few familiar faces.

“Rey! I’m so happy you made it! Sit down, let me introduce you!” Jessika pulled out a seat at their table and patted it. Her speech was slightly slurred and Rey assumed the fun loving girl had already a few to drink “This here is Snap Wexely, that’s Ello Asty and this little guy here is my bud Nien Nunb” Nien’s large black eyes cringed, causing his jowl to quirk inwards slightly. Rey knew of him from the stories Poe had told her. If she remembered correctly, he had a long battle history which included the battle of Endor. Rey understood why he would cringe. Jesskia was far younger than him and she was treating his as if he was a little brother to her.

“Hey” Rey smiled widely, wanting to get to know the three men better. If she made more friends she was certain her time on the base would go quicker and she was always looking to expand her circle. Rey had been so lonely for so long she was practically starved for affection so the idea of more friends filled her with joy.

“Snap’s, how the hell did you escape!” Poe laughed, placing a drink in front of Rey before sitting down “I heard Leia had you on kitchen duty for not maintaining your X-wing properly”

“I am and you better not tell her Dameron or I’ll tell Finn about your little crush” Snaps teased back. He was a bigger man and Rey considered him to be cuddly with his welcoming personality and ability to turn anything into a joke.

“You wouldn’t dare!” Poe’s face dropped in horror, his eyes wide.

“Don’t test me Dameron, Jessika here tells me all your secrets” Poe sent a disappointed but playful pout to their friend who blushed.

“Just because you two have shacked up doesn’t mean you can go blabbing woman” Poe pointed and lifted his drink “Rey, you’ll save me from these two won’t you?”

“Nope. They’re your squad Poe so they’re your problem” Rey snickered. She took a sip of her drink and splutter at the metallic taste of it. Poe laughed and patted her on the back as she coughed from how potent it was.

“I forgot you haven’t really drunk before, sorry about that” Poe sniffed her drink and shrugged “A few more sips and you won’t even notice”

“You remember that you’re the one picking me off the floor if needed right?” Rey questioned, this time taking a smaller sip and scrunching her nose. The after taste wasn’t so bad. Whatever the alcohol was it was mixed with something else that was sweet on her tongue. Rey wouldn’t mind another one of these with less fuel tasting spirit.

………………………………

Kylo peered down at the grim bar from the top rail. He hated that Phasma had dragged him to this shit hole insisting that he needed to get laid. It wasn’t his fault that the shitty mechanics couldn’t handle their job, even if it was his fault for the extra work. Hux had agreed, basically shoving them out the door and trailing behind them. Kylo didn’t even know w _hy_ the uptight general was coming with them, it wasn’t like he knew how to relax. Kylo had picked up on his mutterings though, something about babysitting unruly children.

He sighed and looked down at his attire. Phasma had _insisted_ they fit in, ripping his mask off him and practically shoving him into an unfamiliar outfit. It was loose but fitting, showing off his well looked after muscles that he had gained from hours of physical training. Thankfully it was black but it was restrictive and if he needed to fight it would hinder his normal style. His lightsaber was clipped in the blazer like jacket just in case. His hair was swept back, showing his face and it made him chuckle that those around him had no idea who he was. It was his mask that was known through the galaxy, not the face he was born with. The only distinguishing feature was the large scar that ran across his face. A few people glanced his way but it wasn’t unusual to see a wound like his. They lived in a galaxy that was always rife with conflict.

Kylo hated Coruscant. To him it was the bowels of hell and the entertainment district was the worst. Numerous clubs took bets on the outcomes of war and the amount of casualties lost. Kylo enjoyed cutting down his enemies but the idea of profiting from it in such a manner was distasteful. Coruscant was the origins of the senate, the symbol of the fall of his grandfather’s empire and a pit of political backstabbing. It was why the Finalizer was here. Snoke had been afraid that the Republic would try flee back to this rat hole and reclaim it as the centre of the galaxies democracy. Hux in all his political, weaselling glory had been busy securing the support of remaining senators, bribing them to follow the First Order and turn away from any potential democratic state. Kylo had no time for pitiful meetings, he had no interest in the swine that was the upper class.

A familiar feeling tingled at the force surrounding him and he immediately snapped to attention, his eyes wide and heart speeding. He hadn’t felt that force signature since t _hat_ day and Kylo had been waiting patiently ever since his training had been completed to have a rematch with the scavenger that had cut him down. His dark eyes searched the crowd below in disbelief. What were the chances that they would met in such an obscure place? He had expected them to face each other on the battle field, their lightsabers crashing against each other in a violent struggle for survival. The signature was getting stronger and he was drawn to the middle of the dance floor. There, amongst the writhing bodies dancing to the hypnotic music was Rey. The lowly scavenger that had escaped him. She was completely oblivious to the danger she as in and how close she was to her enemy. Kylo now understood how he had missed her presence before. She had been cloaking it but her obvious intoxication had caused her to lose her control and forget about the need to hide.

Her signature was like a blinding light to Kylo. It called to him, sung to him an enticing tune and he slipped his hand into his jacket, clutching his lightsaber with a giddy joy. He had been waiting so long for this and here she was, blissfully ignorant. He watched her as if she was prey, his eyes taking in every movement. He was entranced by the way her hips swung from side to side and the how her arm’s seem to twirl patterns in the air. It was if she was calling to him, begging him to come down and join her. His eyes darkened and his lips parted to let out a shaky breath. Kylo removed his hand from his jacket and realised that tonight he had no urge to cut her down. Tonight his urge was one of bodily desires. He had known for a while that there was something more between them than just enemies. The force practically hummed around them when they duelled and when they clashed it was if her light and his darkness intertwined in the most intimate way and he _feed_ off it, using it to fuel his already power hungry nature. Rey’s light compliment him and he knew from the beginning they weren’t meant to be on opposite sides but Rey’s stubborn, one sided views had destroyed any hope he had of turning her.

Kylo moved away from the rail and he ignored Hux when he called out to him. He had one goal tonight and that was to snatch the desert rat away and fuck her completely senseless. Tonight there was no light or dark. It was just him and Rey in a dance of desire. No longer would he let her deny him what was rightfully his because he _knew_ that she was made for him and him alone.

……………………….

Rey had no idea where Poe was nor the rest of his squad but she couldn’t care less. The atmosphere was electrifying and in her drunken state she just needed to _express_ herself by moving. She had pushed her way to the center of the dance floor, joining the mass of people already lost to their inebriation and Rey was not far behind them. At the start she had held the force back, afraid of letting herself feel comfortable enough to let go of the security blanket. As the night went on she let her control slip and the force had slowly heightened her experience. It flowed through her and around her. Every noise, movement and smell taken in and turned into peaceful serenity. She focused on little details like the way her drink had left a lingering taste on her lips and she could pin point the exact flavour of the mixer she couldn’t recognise before. It was a nut based with a hint of berry and she licked her lips to savour it.

A hand slipped around her waist and Rey melted against whoever had grabbed her. In that moment she didn’t care. Whoever had her had her senses on fire. She knew it was a male because his hands were large and he had a faint smell of sweat and earth swirling together that reminded her of the numerous Jedi temples Luke had dragged her to. It made her smile. This man felt like home. Warm, safe and yet there was something else that simmered there. A darkness that she found inviting and exciting. As a Jedi she knew she should fight it but here in this club she wasn’t a Jedi. She was just another worn out fighter looking for a reprieve for the night.

Soft lips greedily attacked her neck and Rey raised her hand, wrapping it in thick silky locks as she lulled her head to the side. Her hips swung with his and her eyes were closed. They were perfectly in sync and in that moment Rey felt like they were the only two there. Time had slowed down and all she could recognise was the burning trail his fingers trailed across her hip, up her stomach and to her breast. He grabbed the small mound in his hand roughly and Rey gasped, rolling her hips backwards to show she enjoyed it. A growl into her neck was her reward and she was spun around. Needy lips sought out hers, crashing onto her cold chapped ones hungrily. Rey groaned. This man was trying to devour her and she found herself not caring. Whoever this person was, Rey was his and his alone tonight.

…………………………….

Kylo couldn’t believe how easy this had been. He had expected a fight but instead Rey seemed to be completely submissive with him. He doubted she even knew it was him and he relished in that fact. He could feel the force crackle around them and he reached out to her through it, moaning when she replied. They wrapped around each other through it, the light and dark fighting against each other until her force relented and allowed him to blend their signatures together. Kylo could no longer tell where he stopped and she began. He lifted her up, his arms wrapping under her thighs and he made his way towards the door of the bar, refusing to break the kiss. He ignored Hux yelling at him and her friend’s protests. He walked the streets, kissing the small girl against him like he would die if they stopped. He wondered if Rey was aware that he had taken her from the bar.

“How far to your place?” she breath out, not looking up and attaching her lips to her neck. She nibbled on it, pulling the skin between her teeth before letting it go and sucking on it softly. Kylo felt his pants constrict and he sped up his pace, cursing that his quarters were on the upper level. He had requested his grandmother’s old senate room’s, wanting to feel some security and connection to his grandfather while he was here. They eventually made it to an elevator and he slammed her back into the wall of it, his anger getting the better of him. Rey hissed out but she rolled her hips against his and grasped at his top, her nails digging into the skin below. Kylo fumbled with one hand behind him, jabbing the button quickly before using it to lift her top up and finally feel her soft skin underneath. Rey leaned back, placing her head on the elevator wall, her eyes closed and breaths coming out as a pant. Her lips were bruised from Kylo’s attack on them and a sense of accomplishment ran over him that _he_ had done that to her.

He saw Rey going to open her eyes and his breath caught in his throat. Surely she would recognise him?

……………………..

Rey’s vision was foggy, clouded by her drunken, lust fuelled state. She could make at small features of the man holding her up but her brain didn’t register them very well because at that moment his hand dipped under her waist band and two long fingers slid over her clit and to her throbbing core. Rey moaned, she knew she was practically gushing at his point and she just hopped they would reach their destination soon because she was quickly turning into a needy, desire driven mess. In the back of her mind something was tugging at her but anytime she tried to grab onto it, it was quickly shoved back when two fingers were shoved into hastily and a thumb rubbed against her sensitive bundle of nerves.

Rey yelled out, swearing as she lost herself. Between this man’s fingers and his thumb, she was completely unravelling and he hips were jerking violently in desperation. She heard a dark chuckled and a soft kiss was pressed onto her trembling lips as her walls clenched around his digits and her juices pooled around them. Rey thought he would stop and she would be given the chance to catch her breath but the man didn’t relent. He kept going, building her back up, using the wetness as a tool to drive her insane with desire. She chuckled. She didn’t even know this man and he had complete control over her. It was terrifying yet exciting and she would not shy away from it.

……………………..

Kylo watched as she unravelled again, his fingers still moving expertly in her. It slightly surprised him that she hadn’t picked up that he was using the force to push her over the edge again and again, each time intensify the orgasms that rocked through petite body. The Elevator shuttered to a halt and he slipped his fingers out. Rey’s head flopped forward into his chest and she was breathing heavily, trying to pull herself together through the exhaustion his excursions had taken on her body. He patted her hair, humming to himself. He wasn’t done with her yet.

It didn’t take long to reach his room and he swept into the room, still holding her against his chest. He would have assumed she was asleep if it wasn’t for the small whimpers that left her mouth whenever his hand came close to her core again. Kylo didn’t give her anytime to take in her surroundings. He dumped her on the bed and quickly climbed on top of her, his leg slipping between hers. He bunched her top in his hand, ripping it off her, desperate to get a glimpse of the body he had only ever seen in his dreams. Rey was watching him now, eyes wide with recognition but she didn’t stop him. Kylo smirked, they both knew she wasn’t going anywhere. He leant down and pulled her nipple between his teeth, nipping it softly before lavishing it with his tongue. Rey arched her back, her hands going back into his hair and then something unexpected happened.

“K-Kylo, Please” He pulled back, shocked that she had whimpered his name and _begged_ him. Something flicked in him, a type of primal dominance that only Rey was capable of bringing out in him. To hear his name tumble from his lips was something he had always wished for but never thought would happen.

“Say it again” he growled out, his dark eyes trained on her. Rey quivered underneath him and she bit her lip, not sure what to do.

“Kylo” she whispered timidly. “I…I need you”

“As you wish little scavenger” He gave her a wolfish smile and stood up, stripping himself off and then the rest of her clothing.

………………..

Rey knew she should be disgusted with herself, ashamed that she was letting _Kylo Ren_ of all people make her feel this way but whenever she tried to summon up some sort of anger towards the dark side user she _couldn’t_. All there was in her was the deep pit of need and desire. Kylo placed himself between her legs and he looked down at her, questioning her whether she wanted this or not. Rey nodded slowly, ignoring any protest she may have. In this moment it was just her and Kylo. Two people desperately needing a physical release. It was a onetime thing, something that would never happen again. It would be their secret and she swore to herself once it was over she would push it back to the furthest regions of her mind and lock it way.

He entered her sharply and Rey’s head snapped back into the pillow. She moaned at the feeling of him filling her completely, whimpered when his hand slid up to the back of her neck and his thumb rubbed below her ear. Rey let him pound into her, his hips slapping violently against her in the crazed act. She felt herself building again and she knew this time would be the last time because she didn’t think she could handle another orgasm after this one. She could feel the power of it coiling in her stomach, passing any expectation and when she felt him grab her legs, placed them over his shoulders she screamed out. Her whole body trembled as the most powerful orgasm she had ever experience washed over her in waves again and again. Kylo didn’t stop and she shuddered under his lust, crazed expression. There was a possessiveness behind it, something that screamed out at her, telling her she had fucked up, that this was a terrible idea.

Kylo pulled out of her, flipping her onto her stomach and grabbed her hips, pulling them upwards. She scrunched her hands into the sheets when he entered her again. Her breathing shook as his thrust were a mixture of pain and pleasure, pushing her towards the edge again. Rey shook under him, crying out into his pillow. Her body couldn’t handle this, she was just too sensitive and she felt she would break apart each time he thrust further into her. Her stomach clenched when the pressure began to coil again and she reach behind her, attempting to stop him from pushing her over the edge again. Kylo grabbed her hand, pulling her into his chest with a loud slap and she whined when it slipped between her legs.

“Say it Rey” he whispered against her ear. Rey shook her head. She knew what he was asking her. He pressed against her clit and she yelled out “Say…it”

“N…no” She moaned. Kylo’s other hand went to her hair, tugging it harshly. It should have hurt but Rey found herself enjoying the pain it brought. His lips ghosted over her neck and her eyes fluttered closed.

“Be a good girl and tell me who you belong to” Rey sucked in her breath and he moved his finger’s quickly, stopping his thrusts in the meantime. Rey wriggled, trying to get him to start again. He had built her back up and his fingers wouldn’t give her the release she was needing. “Do you want to come Rey?”

“Y-yes” she replied, the need thick on her tongue.

“Then tell me what I want to hear” He hissed. Rey felt tears welling up in her eyes and she swallowed thickly before opening her mouth and saying the words she knew she would regret.

“I’m yours Kylo” She whispered. Rey was rewarded by being pushed back down onto the mattresses and his brutal thrusting resuming. His hand was on her back, pushing her into the mattress and she held onto the sheets for dear life, her eyes squeezed shut as incomprehensible words and moans tumbled from her mouth. The coil inside her snapped with such force she slammed back against him and her walls clenched so suddenly that she felt Kylo’s release quickly follow. He fell on top of her, breathing heavily and his hands running down her sides causing her to shiver.

“Mine” he said lazily, pressing soft kisses into her back. A strong contrast to the almost violent fucking he had just put her through. Rey shuddered at the word, wanting to vomit. The reality of what happened hitting her full force. Kylo pulled out of her and sat up. Rey curled onto her side, not wanting to face him. She didn’t want him to see her fall apart so pathetically. Kylo said nothing but he ran his hand through her hair that had come out of its buns. The touch was soft, gentle and comforting and after a time Rey felt herself calm down. Her eyes fluttered closed and she felt her naked body being pulled against his again.

……………………………….

Rey woke up the next morning, her head pounding and a deep throbbing ache between her legs. She groaned and lifted her hand to her head. Her fingers massaged one temple and she scrunched her eyes shut. Memories of last night flooded painfully back and she snapped up. A horrified scream stuck in her throat like day old portion bread and she looked over to her bed partner who was still fast asleep. Rey scuttled out of the bed, hitting the ground with a loud thud and tried to put as much distance between herself and her mortal enemy. Tears welled up in her eyes and she pressed a hand against her mouth to muffle any sobs, not wanting to wake the monster in the bed. Kylo Ren stirred slightly and Rey counted to ten until his breathing stilled again, falling back into a slow pattern.

Rey forced herself up, clutching her naked body. She desperately looked for her clothes, finding them on his side of the bed. She crouched down, snatching them carefully before shuffling back to her previous position. Rey put on her beige pants, grimacing when she noticed the bruises on her hips and thighs. He hadn’t been gentle with her at all and the evidence on her body was clear of that. Her top regrettably was unsalvageable so she grabbed his, hating that she would be wearing any of his clothing but she didn’t have a choice. Rey needed to get out of here and fast. She felt around her pants breathing a sigh of relief when she felt the cool metal of her double ended lightsaber.

Rey looked back to Kylo who was still sleeping soundly and her hand clutched the handle. She could end this all now, she could take her lightsaber and ram it into him while he slept. The idea was cowardly and Master Luke would scold her for thinking such nonsense. They didn’t harm anyone unarmed and that included Kylo Ren, Leader of the Knights of Ren. Rey moved towards the bed, her curiosity peaking. Kylo Ren looked so peaceful when he was sleeping. His face which was usually contorted into a mix of pain and anger was smoothed out and she could see General Leia in his features. She frowned at the angry scar that marred his face though. She had given him that, marking him for the rest of his life. Rey reached out her hand to lightly trace it, pulling back quickly when she realised what she had done. She didn’t care about this man nor did she have no sympathy for him! Last night was a mistake, it meant absolutely nothing to her.

Rey stood up straight and looked around. There was a door to her right so she quickly made her way to it, giving the sleeping man one last, soft look. A part of her wanted to stay, wondering what would have happened if he woke up with her still next to him. Rey shook off the notion. It was ridiculous. Just because they had a quick roll around in his bed did not mean they weren’t enemies. Rey sighed and made her way out of the room, stopping when she noticed the next room wasn’t empty. A man Rey had come to know as General Hux sat on one of the couches, looking down at his finger nails with boredom and his leg crossed over the other. Rey reached for her lightsaber but he gave her a piercing look.

“Your friends are waiting for you on the loading docks two districts over. I suggest you hurry if you do not wish to worry them” His tone was sharp and Rey looked at him dumbstruck.

“You’re not going to stop me?” she questioned. The General quirked his eyebrows but his lips stayed in a thin line.

“Phasma took Ren out last night with the intention of getting him ‘laid’ as she put it. If this…incident stops him from destroying my command stations, then I am happy to show you some leniency this one time as a thank you” Rey blushed, not quite sure what to do. “Unless you want to stay”

“I do not! This…this was a mistake…” Gerenal Hux stood up and advanced on her, his eyes scrutinising as he gave her a once over. His hand reached out and picked a bit of lent of the shirt she was borrowing, rolling it between his fingers.

“Mistakes like this do not just happen. You would do well to remember that the next time you and Ren meet” He stepped back and waved his hand out, his palm pointing towards the exit. “Keep walking down the hall until you reach the end. A vehicle is waiting to escort you to your friends”

“Um…thank you?” The man let out a soft chuckle under his breath.

“Get going before he wakes up. I do doubt he will let you go if he does” Rey nodded and didn’t need to be told again. This whole thing had her utterly freaked out and she was more than happy to get out of here and never come back. Rey should have stayed on Hoth with its freezing temperatures and potential Wampa run in’s. Hell she would rather take on a damn Wampa then face Kylo Ren after last night!

Rey made her way to where the General had told her and she was happy that the small vehicle he had provided was a taxi and the man had no connection to the First Order. She didn’t know how she was going to explain that to Poe and the others. Even though she was happy to get out of here she couldn’t help but feel that this was tacky. Slipping out before Kylo Ren woke up and riding off in a taxi as if she was some kind of escort irked her. She was worth more than this! Rey took a deep breath, remembering that there were no emotions, only peace and she drew on the force to calm her. Her eyes snapped open. Something was very, very wrong. The Force she drew on was different, not her own. Her own signature was there but it felt off, like it had mixed with something dark. Rey looked back to the building in front of her. It felt like a mixture of her and Kylo meshed together; it was an uncomfortable feeling. It was impossible, it had to be. There was no way their signatures could have connected together in such a way!

Panic began to well up in her chest. She couldn’t do this! He had tainted her! Master Luke would be so disappointed in her! Rey swore under her breath, her body shaking and she jumped when the taxi beeped at her. Reluctantly she climbed in, giving the tower one last look. Hopefully whatever this was would pass and in the meantime she would just meditate to draw from the light side until she purified any darkness he may have left on her.

Poe was the only one waiting for her when she arrived. The Millennium Falcon sat on a docking bay, ready to set off. Poe had a smug smile on his face and Rey hung her head in shame. This was utterly embarrassing.

 “There you are! Jessika told me you had disappeared with some handsome stranger and I was beginning to think we had lost you forever!” he chuckled. Rey cringed. He didn’t know how right he was. The more she thought about General Hux’s words the more she realised he had been right. Kylo Ren would not have let her get away. He had made it perfectly clear last night he had placed some kind of possessive claim on her “Who was it aye?”

“I…I don’t know” Rey blushed. She couldn’t tell Poe the truth. He would hate her. God, she couldn’t tell anyone! It would be considered treason! “Can we…get going. I want to get back to my own bed”

“Hey…are you alright Rey? He didn’t hurt you did he?” Rey shook her head and hugged her arms to herself.

“No Poe, he didn’t hurt me. I’ve just…never done something like that before” She mumbled. It was the truth. Kylo Ren had been the first person she had ever given herself to and she knew how fucked up that was.

“One night stands can be a bit of a bitch. They seem great at the time but afterwards you wake up looking at the person as if they’ve grown an extra head” Poe wrapped an arm around her shoulder and gave her a reassuring squeeze “Don’t worry about it. No one thinks any less of you Rey. You’re a grown ass woman and what you do with your body is entirely up to you”

“Can we…stop talking about this? It’s something I would rather forget” Poe gave her a grim look and they entered the falcon. Rey jumped into the Pilots seat, having more experience flying it than Poe did. Every now and then he would send her worried glances and eventually he asked the question she didn’t want to answer.

“Was that…your first time?” He cringed as he said it, knowing it was far too personal but he wanted to understand why she seemed so upset by it.

“Jedi aren’t supposed to have relations…” Rey flicked a sequence of buttons before lifting her hand, automatically knowing what to push and when to do it. Poe’s eyes widened at the implication of her replied and his face fell.

“Everyone makes mistakes Rey” He said softly. Rey shrugged, letting out a small grunt. She had trained so hard and in one stupid moment she had fucked up, letting her emotions rule her and leading her to the worst possible disaster she could ever think of. The Jedi Code came to mind and she growled. It was fucking impossible to follow it all the time. Numerous occasions she had slipped up but never this badly. “I’m sure Luke will tell you the same”

“I can’t tell Luke” Rey whispered. She felt completely unbalanced. The darkness that had penetrated her force signature was whipping around her, antagonising her and tormenting her. “I…I fucked up Poe”

“Hey, it’s okay Rey. Whatever happened it’ll be fine” Rey turned to him, taking her hands off the controls. She had to tell him. Rey had sworn she wouldn’t but she didn’t know how to keep a secret like this. The more she thought about hiding it the more the Kylo’s darkness fought its way in.

“It was Kylo Ren” Poe stared at her before his face broke into a wide smile and a booming laughter filled the cabin.

“Nice one Rey. I’ll have to tell Finn that you got me good when he returns” Rey’s face stayed grim and her stomach churned. When Rey didn’t join him in the laughing he froze, his eyes wide “You are joking…right?”

“I wish I was” Rey looked up to the roof and let out a shaky breath “I didn’t fucking know, I was so drunk and by the time I realised it was him…”

“Fucking hell Rey” Poe put his head on the dash “What are you going to do now?”

“Do? Nothing. We are going back to Hoth. I am going to lock myself in my room and meditate until this fucking dark side signature leaves and then pretend that it never happened” Poe sat up and shook his head, looking at her with sympathy.

“I don’t think it works like that Rey. You just slept with your mortal enemy. The man who has spent the past year hunting you down like a dog” Rey bit her lip, completely agreeing with him but she really was at a loss with what to do.

“What do you suggest I do then?” she mumbled. A wave of anger rushed through the force towards her and Kylo’s signature crackled around her. Rey cringed as she felt his emotions as her own and she drew in a shaky breath. This was new and it was terrifying. Had she somehow tied herself to him? Why was she feeling what he felt? Rey closed her eyes, trying to grasp onto the light, drawing the blue strings towards her desperately to protect her from the violent red they were tangled up in. Calmness washed over her as she gently focused on unknotting the stands one at a time, with each one she felt more like herself. “We need to get going before he figures out I’m gone”

“How…how did you get away?” Poe was sceptical of her now, not knowing whether or not he could trust her. It hurt to see the doubt cross his face and she wanted to cry. She knew she fucked up but that didn’t mean he couldn’t trust her!

“You wouldn’t believe me even if I told you Poe” Rey grabbed the controls again and started the launch sequence. Poe followed her lead, checking that everything was running smoothly. Another wave of anger burst through her and she lurched forward, panting with wide eyes and a pain in her chest. Poe yelled out as the falcon dipped dangerously towards a building and Rey quickly pulled it up. The pain grew to a dull ache and Rey clasped at it, her face contorting to mirror what she was feeling. She wondered if this was how Kylo felt all the time. This constant dull, agonising pain settling in her chest made her want to vomit. These weren’t her emotions.

“Rey. Do you want me to take over?” Rey nodded, quickly swapping seats with Poe who was looking at her with concern. Rey doubled over when she felt it again and she _knew_ that this time it had been on purpose. Kylo had worked out their connection and had found a way to use it to his advantage. Another stab and Rey fell to the floor, clutching her chest while she gasped for breath between the sharp pains. Poe was yelling at her, panicking and unable to removed his hands from the controls. The pain didn’t relent, it pulsed through her entire body as if each nerve was on fire and then it stopped. Rey lay on the ground. Sweat pouring down her face and eyes slightly glazed over. Kylo was angry at her for leaving and he had happily taken it out on her through their new found connection. “Rey, fucking talk to me!”

“I…I’m okay now” Rey pulled herself back into her seat. Her breathing was shaky and her muscles were tender from the attack. It horrified her that Kylo Ren could turn their connection into a weapon. “Get to Hoth as quickly as possible and tell Leia to contact Master Luke”

“What? Why? What the hell just happened!” Poe was frantic but he did as she said. He switched to hyperspace before exiting his seat and helping Rey to somewhere she could lie down. Rey’s legs shook each step she took and in the back of her mind she felt Kylo Ren. He was sitting there, watching and waiting. Rey tried to shut him out but she couldn’t figure out how and she shivered when she heard him in her head. A deep chuckle rumbling across her thoughts. Rey hadn’t felt this helpless since she had been left on Jakku. “Tell me what to do Rey”

“I’ll be okay” She smiled meekly up at Poe. He placed a hand on her cheek and she felt Kylo’s anger flair up again. Rey turned her head but it was too late and like before pain ripped across her. She screamed, realising that it was Kylo’s actual signature that had mixed with hers which was attacking her in such a manor. She could feel the tendrils of power attaching themselves to her body, stabbing at her over and over again. Like before she tried to pull her own against her in an attempt to protect herself. It worked slightly, some tendrils still snuck through but she tightened her defences and fell into a meditative state.

……………………………………..


	2. Chapter 2

Poe was freaking out. He had no idea what was going on except the fact that Rey was in pain and then seemed to have passed out. At one point he thought she was dead but the occasional twitch in her hand told him otherwise. Finn was going to kill him. He had promised the ex-Stormtrooper he would look after Rey and instead he practically leds her to Kylo fucking Ren. He felt sick to his stomach. Poe wasn’t angry at Rey. He was angry at himself for letting that First Order scum take advantage of his friend in her drunken state. He was pissed Jessika hadn’t tried harder to stop Kylo Ren from taking Rey away but deep down he knew the woman hadn’t stood a chance.

At first, when Jessika had approached him at the bar panicking saying that someone had abducted Rey, Poe had brushed it off. He had seen her on the dance floor with the man and Rey seemed pretty into it so he assumed she knew what she was doing. Poe had been wrong on an epic scale. It had to be him. Kylo fucking Ren. Poe should never have taken his eyes off her! He should have looked after her! Poe slammed his hands down on the panel in front of him, tears sliding down his cheeks. He had no idea what the hell happened to Rey but he was certain Kylo Ren was behind it.

Poe had already contacted Leia in a panic, telling her that Rey was unconscious and he was bringing her back to base. When he landed the General had rushed in with a medical crew not far behind her and Poe couldn’t meet her gaze. Leia fussed over Rey before nodding to the medical crew to take her and he watched helplessly as they hauled her away. Leia then turned to him and he knew he had to tell her everything.

It always amazed Poe how at home Leia looked on the Falcon but he knew being in here brought her pain. The wound of losing Han still as fresh as it had been a year ago. How was Poe supposed to explain to this woman who he admired and looked up to that he had let the monster who killed her husband near Rey, a woman she considered to be like a daughter to her. Leia motioned for him to follow her, noticing his rattled nerves.

The bitter air of Hoth hit him but he was already to numb to notice. He didn’t put a jacket on like he should and the snow squelched around his feet, muddy from previous people before him. Leia led him to her personal quarters, telling him to sit as she went to fetch them some tea. Poe rubbed his hands together, not to warm them up but to just do something, anything other than sitting around waiting.

Leia came back, placing a tray on the table between them and she poured the tea with delicacy that only a previous noble would know how to do. She placed the tea pot down before zoning in on him. “It was my son wasn’t it?”

“I don’t…” Poe stopped, not sure how to explain what happened “I don’t know how he did it”

“Why don’t you start from the beginning” She patted him on the knee and gave him a small comforting smile. It almost made him forget that this was Leia Organa, war hero and leader of the Resistance.

“We went to Coruscant. Things have been so tense lately and you said I should get Rey out. I didn’t. We didn’t know the First Order had infiltrated the Galactic city. We were drinking, just having fun ya know. Rey…she went to dance and then this guy showed up out of nowhere” Poe looked down at his hands, trying not to cry as he continued “Jessika tried to tell me that he had taken her but from what I saw Rey had wanted to go with him. I figured she knew what she was doing…It’s Rey, she never does anything she doesn’t want to do so I thought she had it handled”

“Alcohol does crazy things to us Poe. You cannot blame yourself” Leia said softly, taking another sip of her tea but not taking her eyes off him.

“It is my fault. I should have known she was drunk. He wasn’t wearing his mask so I had no idea who he was!” Poe clutched at his hair and hunched his back “She didn’t show up at the Falcon that night so I figured she would show up when…well you know”

“She had relations with him?” Poe nodded and Leia let out a small laugh. “It’s okay Poe. It’s a perfectly natural instinct. It doesn’t surprise me that they were drawn to each other. The lines of love and hate can blur sometimes”

“Are you insinuating that Rey _loves_ Kylo Ren?” Poe spat out, slightly angry at the suggestion.

“I’m not saying that at all Poe. I was just saying it was perfectly normal for the lines to skew. My son has obsessively been chasing Rey across the galaxy and she has been intent on their next meeting. When emotions are high unusual things can happen” Leia took a moment for them to sit in silence, letting them both reflect on the information given to them. “What happened next Poe”

“Nothing really. She turned up and she seemed aright. A bit off and I thought that maybe things had gotten a bit rough but she said it hadn’t. Eventually she told me who it was. She seemed scared and was saying that she didn’t know what to do…” Poe blinked, the memory of Rey hunched over in pain, her body shaking coming to the front of his mind. Poe paled and he clutched his stomach as it churned uncomfortably.

“Poe. I need to know so I can figure out what’s happening” Leia moved to sit next to him, rubbing circles into his back as he broke down. He didn’t care that he was looking weak in front of his commanding General. He just felt so heartbroken over seeing Rey like that and knowing he could have stopped it.

“I don’t know how to explain it. It was like she was being attacked. She just. Rey hunched over the first time, we nearly crashed so I offered to take over. Each time it just got worse and she was clutching at her chest, clawing at it and she was gasping like she couldn’t breathe” Leia rested her head on his shoulder and he noticed her eyes were glassed over. She remained strong though, not a tear would fall. “The last time…I touched her face and she…she pulled away from me Leia like _I_ was hurting her! She…Rey was screaming, pleading for it to stop and then she just went silent. I thought she was dead…”

“Did anything else happen? Think Poe. Did Rey do or say anything odd?” Poe clutched the back of his neck and squeezed his eyes shut in an attempt to sort out his frazzled memories before he shot up.

“She said something. I didn’t take notice of it but she said she was going to meditate until his dark force signature left” Leia recoiled back and Poe looked up at her “What does that mean? Why would she say something like that?”

“I’m not too sure but I will have to check what records we have to see if anything is mentioned. Luke has been summoned and he is on his way here with his newest padawan. When he arrives I will discuss with him what you have told me” Leia clasped her hands behind her back and Poe got the feeling she was holding something back from him. He wanted to know but he knew his place and in time he was sure Leia would fill him in. “Go to your room Poe. Get some sleep and let your body recover from this trauma”

“If you don’t mind I would rather stay with Rey” He murmured out. “I’ve already let her down once, I don’t want to do it again”

“Rey is still being assessed. It’s best we let the medics do their work. I will alert you when they are done” Poe looked over to his tea that remained untouched. Leia had gone from a comforting mother to the perfect General as if she had just shed a second skin. “Rey’s in good hands Poe”

…………………………………..

Luke arrived on Hoth as quickly as he could. He wrapped a warm coat around him, cursing under his breath. He was hoping he would never have to step foot on this frozen, wampa infested land for the rest of his life. His padawan trailed behind him, his young eyes bright and excited to be on a new world. Luke remembered looking like that when he first arrived here. It had been the first time he had seen snow and he learned quickly that he hated it. Luke hurried the child along to where Leia was and he knew it was bad. She had dark circles under her eyes, her usual perfect hair was un-kept, bun messy and fringe fallen out. The stress had make her look her age, the lines on her face gaining sunken definition. Luke opened his arms and his sister fell into them. He could sense his padawan behind him, shuffling awkwardly and Luke stood up. Leia look to the child and smiled warmly, crouching down to greet him.

“You must be Anaku. My name is Leia, I am the General of this base and Luke’s sister” His padawan bowed and the small plait fell forward. The boy had just reached his thirteenth birthday. He was quiet, reserved and the complete opposite of Rey. Luke enjoyed teaching him. He was eager to learn but he was cautious, listening to Luke’s wise words with ease. It was nice having a student that didn’t wear him down. Not that he didn’t enjoy Rey’s vibrant personality but his age was beginning to take its toll and he had found it difficult to keep up with her energy levels.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you General” The boy’s soft voice could barely be heard amongst the howling wind and Luke noted that he needed to work on the boy’s confidence.

“Let’s get you two inside” Leia ushered them into the base he was all too familiar with and immediately began searching for his student’s force signal. It was faint and being shrouded by something that made his feet stumble. Leia’s eyes met his and his worst fear was confirmed. He didn’t have time for catch up’s, he needed to get to Rey and he needed to now.

Luke swept past Leia and down the hall, heading towards the medical bay. He waltzed in, shooing the medical staff away from her. They had put a drip in one of her hands, feeding her body much needed saline to keep her hydrated. Leia followed behind him, Anaku on her heels. He was a curious boy but Luke did not want him here, he couldn’t risk the boy coming in contact with Rey in this condition. Luke turned around to shoo him out but the force around Rey lashed out, throwing the young boy backwards. Leia gasped, rushing to him to check he was okay.

“M-master?” Anaku questioned, his eyes wide with shock. Luke went to him, kneeling in front of him and gave him a gentle smile.

“That was not Rey Anaku, you have no need to be afraid. Go with Leia and settle in, we will be here awhile” The boy stood to his feet, brushing his Jedi tunic down.

“I wish to stay with you Master. I can help” Luke patted him on the head “But she’s hurting”

“You are to young my padawan and have much to learn. The best thing you can do is focus on your training while I help Rey fight this” The boy looked uncertain but bowed his head, agreeing with his master. Leia looked at him before ushering the boy out and Luke was left alone with Rey.

Luke situated himself on the floor, putting his hands face up on his knee’s as he connected with the force. He felt himself calm and his breathing even out. Once he felt secure enough he reached out to Rey, cringing when he felt a familiar dark presence surround her. Kylo’s signature had wrapped itself around her like a thorn bush, trying to securely hold onto her. Luke fought back his panic and eventually he managed to push himself past Kylo and to Rey. She had done well so far. Rey had used her the light as a type of shield, engulfing her completely and putting her into a stasis like condition to protect her. Even then though he could feel the core connection feeding into her. It slowly spread like a poison twisting around any link she had left unprotected and strengthening its hold like a well tied piece of rope.

Luke did his best to work away at the loose connections with his own signature. Pulling and twisting until Kylo’s darkness snapped and pulled back to the core connection. Until he cleared enough of the web like structures of darkness away Rey would remain like this. He worked away, slowly picking and plucking until he had exhausted himself. Kylo took the chance to attack, lashing out at him and throwing him out of the space he had occupied. Luke feel back, his head hitting the hard concrete behind him and he hissed in pain, cursing his nephew under his breath. Why Rey? Was this Kylo’s way of trying to get back at him by bonding to Rey in such a manor?

Luke pushed himself up and scooted back to the wall. One leg laid out in front of him and the other bent with his arm lazily resting on it. He watched Rey’s chest rise and fall in a steady pattern. Her face grimaced occasionally and arm twitched. Luke assumed Kylo was trying to undo his hard work but it was impossible, those connections had been severed and the light he tried to overwhelm had already retreated back into Rey’s shield like protection.

“How is it going?” Leia ask as she entered the room, handing him a plate of food “You’ve been at this for hours now. Anaku is asleep”

“I’ve made little progress but this will be a slow process. I’m afraid they have created a force bond. I can’t severe it but I can damage it enough to give Rey a chance to fight it. She’s using the light to protect herself, wrapping it around her like a cocoon and keeping Kylo out. I’ve been able to severe a bit of his influence but I can’t give you a time frame”

“I’m sorry Luke. I suggested to Poe to take her out” Leia slid down the wall next to him and he grabbed her hand. “I never thought this would happen”

“You weren’t to know Leia. This bond is rare and I have only read about it during my solitude. At some point Rey must have given herself completely to Kylo and he must have accepted. Whether or not it was intentional on his part is yet to be seen but he is taking full advantage of it”

“My son is a monster” Leia whispered, her voice cracking. Luke tightened his grip on her hand, staring at her with a hard set and determined look.

“This is not Ben Leia. This is the monster Snoke created” They have had this conversation many times since his return from exile and he refused to let his sister take on the guilt for any harm Kylo did. “Look, I cannot lie to you Leia but this may be a good thing. If they have created this bond, there may be a chance that Rey has had the same effect. Her light may be calling to him just as his darkness is to her. If Rey win’s this, we may be able to use this to get Ben back”

“What if I don’t want him back?” Leia turned away from him, ashamed at the words that fell from her mouth. “He killed Han, your students and countless other innocents and now…look what he’s done to Rey. How can he ever come back from this?

Luke pursed his lips but didn’t reply. Leia didn’t come here for a pep talk, she wanted to vent her frustrations and doubts. Loosing Rey like this would have been just as big of a hit to her as it was to him. They sat in silence with the occasional sound of chewing from Luke eating. He didn’t feel hungry but he would need his strength. Luke moved back into his meditation position, determined to bring back Rey as quickly as possible. Leia didn’t say anything, she just sat with him and he welcomed the company.

This time Kylo was ready for him and it took Luke a while to find a way close enough to Rey. It was like layers to bypass. The top was completely Kylo, a thick smog of crackling waves of darkness, almost like a lightning storm. The further the layers Luke went down the less influence Kylo had, but he could feel clearly the ropes of dark force that had attached their selves to the barrier or to Rey. The last layer was completely Rey with only the thick dark coil like tendril winding around an identical light one in a stunning merge of both sides. Luke sat on the middle layer, slogging his way through the smaller attempts. Kylo’s force signature attacked him at every turn and he ignored the stinging mental jabs his nephew took.

_“She is mine Skywalker”_ a whisper, faint and from above. Luke clenched his teeth, refusing to engage in Kylo’s taunts _“Give up, there is nothing you can do for her”_ Over and over again Kylo tried to shake his resolve and attempted to make Luke doubt his efforts. _“You are only preventing the inevitable Jedi. Rey...is…mine”_ Luke snapped a rather large connection and he felt Kylo’s presence retreat back to the upper layer, wounded and angry.

Luke pulled back again, happy with the work he had done today and ready for a decent rest. He still had to oversee Anaku’s training in the morning and it would not do him well to push himself past the point of exhaustion. Leia helped him up, a small smile on her lips. “Her eye’s opened. It was only for a moment but I assume that means you made progress”

“He has retreated for now. I shall continue my work after Anaku’s training in the morning” Leia led him to his room and she helped him into bed. The task had taken a huge strain on him and he accepted her help happily. They were not young anymore. Time had caught up with them and they both knew it was nearly time to pass their titles onto the next generation. They would fight till the end of course but that time was nearing. Luke only hopped that he could survive to see Rey win this war and end the horror that his family had brought to the galaxy once and for all.


	3. Chapter 3

Rey couldn’t pin point it but something about her surrounds just felt _off_. It was Jakku like she remembered but different. The sand around her rippled as if it was a mirage and she pushed her toe into the sand to test out her theory. Unlike the coarseness she was used to this sand felt like silk, slipping over her foot softly. The sand around the spot wavered as if she had thrown a stone into a still lake and she _knew_ this Jakku wasn’t real. Rey could feel the atmosphere around her _humming_ and she sat down carefully, scared she would fall through the illusion beneath her.

Rey tried to focus her thoughts on why she was here. A memory shoved forward of a vast city and she frowned. The name of it was on the tip of her tongue but as quickly as it came it fell away. Rey tried again, this time she saw Poe’s frantic face and a hand automatically went to her chest and her nails scratched at a dull ache she hadn’t noticed before. Had something happened to Poe? Rey lowered her hand, her fingers twitching to keep itching at it.

The sand underneath her sunk and Rey tried to stand up only to flail, gasping for breath as it sucked her under. She cried out in desperation, begging anyone to save her but no one came. She slipped through, eyes wide and lips parted. This was it, she was going to die. All her training had been for nothing. She could no longer protect her friends. Finn, Poe, Leia and Master Luke. It was all for nothing. Rey was going to die here and no one would know.

Her back hitting hard ground shook her violently from her thoughts of death and she realised she was no longing being tugged under the sands of Jakku. Rey looked up, above her head the sand still rippled and she reached out to touch it. Her hand slipped through it as if it was fog and it took her a few seconds to realise it wasn’t going to fall down on her and entomb her.

Rey stood up carefully, well aware that the floor could give way just as the sand had. She was now certain this was either a dream or a vision. She took in her bearings again. She was on a ship, a star destroyer. Dread filled her and yet her body shivered with excitement as if it knew something she didn’t. Rey listened for any sign of life, deciding that dream or vision she was here for a reason. A rattling to her left made her spin and sprint towards it, afraid that she would lose where it was coming from. The hallways melted together as she sprinted and she felt a need to no longer be alone here. This place just didn’t feel right. Jakku, even though hadn’t been real had familiarity but this place held no comfort. She was just running blindly towards something that terrified her yet enticed her.

Master Luke would have scolded her for being so hasty to run head first into a situation she knew nothing of. Peace and Knowledge was the Jedi way not actions led by emotions. The rattling faded and Rey slowed down to a jog, disappointed that whatever she was heading towards was gone. She eventually stopped to rest, catch her breath and calm her thoughts. She realised how stupid she was being by running around like a blind rat in a maze. Rey sat down, remembering her training and she used the force to seek out any signs of life.

A force signature brushed against hers and her eyes snapped open. It felt like _her_ but wrong. It seemed to be dull, over powered and suffocated by something dark. It called to her, yearned to be reunited with her as if she had lost it somehow. She took a step towards the direction it was in when a hand wrapped around her wrist. Rey felt warmth from the touch, recognising Master Luke’s signature and she turned to face him. He wasn’t there but she could _sense_ that somehow he was. She felt a tug on her arm, leading her away from whatever it was she was chasing.

A loud, primal roar echoed down the hallway and she collapsed to her knee’s. Pain shot through her, the center of it the dull ache from before. She could no longer feel Luke. Rey immediately felt cold from the sudden destruction of his warm presence. Why had he gone and left her in a place like this? Rey’s eyes filled with tears and she slammed her hand down on the metal wall next to her. She hit it again and again until her hand bled. Her emotions we’re all over the place and she found she didn’t care. The pain of being abandoned _again_ tore through her and opened the festering wound that had started all those years ago. In that moment she _hated_ Luke.

 _“Come to me Rey”_ a voice whispered down the hallway from which she started venturing down before. Rey knew that voice, it had haunted her dreams on many occasions. This time it was different though. It felt like it reverberated through her body and tugged at the ache in her chest in a pleasant way. _“Come to me and I can help you”_

 _“Why would you help me Kylo Ren? We are enemies”_ Her voice was shaky when she replied and even though he wasn’t beside her Rey knew it would reach him.

 _“Enemies Rey? No. Not any longer”_ He forced a memory into her head and she reeled back. Now she remembered.

 _“No”_ She let out a sob and clenched her hands. Kylo Ren chuckled and then she felt him coming towards her. The ship around her shook with his power and the click of boot heels sounded like a death march.

“Why do you fight this Rey? How many times do we have to go through this?” His voice held a distaste but his words made her lurch forward. This wasn’t the first time she had been here. This very scenario had played over and over again. From Jakku, sinking through the sand and being turned away by Luke. It was if this dream was on repeat until she did something. Rey just couldn’t figure out w _hat_ it was she was supposed to do. “Choose Rey”

“Choose what?” She pushed herself off the floor. She would not turn from Kylo Ren. Rey was stronger than that.

“Do not be naive. You know _exactly_ what you have to do” Kylo grabbed her arm’s. He was not gentle, he never was. Rey looked up at him, her chin held up in defiance and Kylo let out a low growl. “You gave yourself to me that night and you will give yourself to me again”

“I will not!” The dark apprentice slammed her against the wall and Rey gritted her teeth.

“You said it yourself Rey. You are mine” His leg slipped between hers and his head dipped low. Rey shuddered as she felt his harsh breathing on her ear “Say it for me again like a good little pet”

“Stop it” Rey pushed him off her. Her face was bright red, a scarlet shade that showed a combination of her shame and excitement. “I do not want this!”

“You do” Kylo chuckled. He advanced on her again, this time slow like a hunter in the shadows. “Your heart is racing just as mine is. Your leg’s are quivering and your desire is practically dripping between your legs. You cannot hide it from me Rey because I feel what you feel”

“You’re insane!” Kylo pinned her, pressing his body up against hers and he grabbed her hands. He clutched them in his grasp and forced them up the wall, scrapping her skin on the bolts. They tore at her skin and she cringed at the stinging pain.

“For someone who say’s they don’t want this you aren’t putting up much of a fight little scavenger” Rey wanted to refute him but deep down she knew it was true. Her attempts to keep him away were pathetic. At any point she could have swung at him and tried to run. Rey was here because she w _anted_ to be. The realisation made her feel ill and she hung her head forward. The move amused Kylo and he relished in her submission. Rey moaned as he bit into her neck, bringing her a confusing mixture of pain and pleasure “That’s it Rey. Stop fighting the truth”

 _“Fight Rey!”_  A voice broke through her thoughts and her head snapped up. _“Fight him. You are stronger than this!”_

“Master Luke?” Rey cried out. He hadn’t abandoned her like she thought!

“I thought I got rid of you old man” Kylo snapped. His grip on her wrist tightened and Rey began to struggle, the fight in her returning.

 _“Do not listen to his lie’s Rey. You have a choice”_ Rey wrenched her hands out of Kylo’s grip and kicked him away. Her face was contorted in anger at herself for being so weak and at him for knocking her down like that. Luke was right and Rey finally knew what to do. She had to make a choice. She could either go to Kylo Ren and give into him again or she could choose her friends.

“There is no choice Rey! Do not listen to him! We are tied! Bonded forever, there is no escaping this! Search your feelings and you will find the truth!” Kylo was panicking as he realised he was losing whatever control he had over her before.

“That may be so but this time you will not win. Master Luke is right and I choose my friends” Rey turned away from him, walking towards the opposite end of the hallway. Kylo made no move to chance after her but she could feel the anger roll off him.

 _“Make no mistake Rey. This is not over. You are mine and I will hunt you to the ends of the universe”_ He hadn’t said it out loud. He had used their bond to force his way into her head _“I will have you again scavenger”_

………………………………….

Luke opened his eyes and collapsed forwards. It had been two weeks since they had lost Rey in her stasis like hibernation and he had _finally_ broken enough connections to pull her out of it. It had taken a toll on him. He looked as if he had aged a few years, he had lost weight and his face had sunken slightly. His hair had thinned, the stress of his task causing chunks to fall out. Poe wrapped an arm around his shoulders, gently lifting him back up to a sitting position and leaning him against the wall. Luke patted him on the face and gave him a nod. The Pilot’s eyes widened and Luke waved him over to where Rey was. “Go, she will need a friendly face” Poe hesitantly left him but not without calling for a medic.

Luke was pleased that he had finally managed to reach Rey but he was deeply concerned. He could feel that Kylo Ren had weakened his former student. There were times he had destroyed many connections only to go back in and find multiple new ones, stronger than the last. It was evidence that Rey had given into the bond and Luke had been forced to push himself to work double the time he usually would. This time he had feared would be the last. Rey had been so close to the edge that he knew he had to push his limits and reach out to her. Kylo had forced him back, leaving him reeling in pain in the medic bay. Poe had urged him to stop but he knew that he didn’t have a choice. He had gone in again and Rey had heard him.

The Jedi would need rest to regain his strength. He would ask Leia to oversee Anaku’s training for the next few days while he gained a much needed rest. Now it was all up to Rey. From now on she would tether between the dark and light, between her morals and her desires. Kylo Ren would always be there, calling to her and attacking her in her weakest moments and Rey will need to prepare for that. Luke groaned, shifting himself and holding his side. He would have to train her again, teach her to shut Kylo out or he will slowly pull her apart from this inside. He cursed. His nephew had been right. Rey would eventually fall, their bond had been stronger than Luke had assumed and he would have to watch the young woman slowly descend. His only hope would be to send her to Lothal and attempt to commune with Master Yoda. It was a bleak idea now that she had been tainted but Luke was at a loss for what to do.

“M-master?” Rey groaned out. Her head was turned towards him and her hand was out, opened palmed. Luke looked away, he was too weak to approach her “Please…”

“Poe. Help an old man up” Poe rushed over to him, placing an arm around his waist and Luke threw his around Poe’s neck. He limped over to his fellow Jedi, his eyes soft. “I’m happy you are back Rey”

“You saved me” She grabbed his hand, a grateful smile on her lips. It didn’t reach her eyes though and in that moment they both knew Rey wasn’t the same. Her light had been dimed, the damage already done. “Thank you”

“You are my student Rey, my comrade and above all my friend. I did what was required of me” Rey nodded. They shared a mutual understanding and neither of them would speak a word of what transpired.

“I am no longer your student, Master Luke” Rey chuckled “I heard you have taken another under your wing”

“Yes I have and I’m happy to say that unlike you he listens to me” He let out a soft laugh “Rest now Rey. You need to heal”

“I’ve rested enough” Rey groaned “I would prefer to walk around”

“I cannot allow that” Leia’s warm but cautious voice flooded into the room. Anaku was behind her, peering at Rey in fear and curiosity. Luke cringed. The boy had been afraid of Rey ever since he had been lashed out at. “I’m sorry Rey. I have no choice but to confine you to your quarters”

“What! Why?” Poe led him over to a chair before turning to Leia in bewilderment “Rey made a mistake! There is no reason for punishment!”

“This isn’t a punishment Poe. Rey is weak right now and so she is a danger to us” Rey said nothing and turned away from them. Luke frowned, this was not a good sign. Isolation would only push her away and she needed her friends for support.

“A danger! It’s Rey!” Poe stood in front of Rey, his arms out “I won’t let you do that to her!”

“Poe, it’s alright” Rey mumbled, her back still turned “Leia is right”

“No Rey! Putting you in isolation is wrong!” Leia stepped forward and Luke shook his head. They all knew Poe blamed himself for Rey’s predicament. “She needs us and you’re treating her like a criminal”

“It is the logical choice” Anaku spoke up. Luke chuckled, his time with Leia was doing him well. “Can you not feel it? There is someone else with her”

“What would you know! You are just a kid!” Poe was nearly in hysterics “I promised Finn I would look after her!”

“Anaku is right Poe” Luke laid a hand on his arm “Rey is not alone in her mind right now and in her weakened condition she cannot shut him out”

“You should listen to them Poe” Rey pulled out the drip in her hand and swung her legs over the bed she was on “He’s here” She pointed to her head. “I can feel Kylo Ren in my head. He’s listening to everything we are saying”

“What’s best for Rey right now is rest, just like it is for all of us” Leia placed a hand on Anakus shoulder who had stepped back, his eyes focused on Rey who had started panting. Luke felt it to. Kylo’s anger reverberated around the room, attempting to lash out again. Rey was trying desperately to keep it under control but the emotion was too strong for her. Anaku had every right to be afraid as it would see him as the most vulnerable.

“Get him out!” Rey shouted, pointing at the frightened boy “Get him out before it hurts him!”

“Poe...will you please escort…” Leia started

“No. You take him. I’m staying with Rey” Luke fought off his frustration with the younger man and focused on calming himself.

“Just somebody get him out!” Rey screeched, pulling her legs to her chest and putting her head between them completely distressed. Luke felt his heart crack slightly seeing her so afraid of herself. This was not the Rey he knew. This was the little girl on Jakku who had been left by her family, abandoned and rejected.

“Anaku, dinner should be ready soon. Go to the mess hall and wait for me” Luke softly coaxed the boy out of the room who seemed to be too scared to leave. Rey’s shoulders dropped and she relaxed. Something about Anaku must irritate Kylo Ren.

…………………………………..

Sparks flew and metal groaned under the violent attack of Kylo’s swing. His lightsaber melted anything it had come into contact with, his tantrum being taken out on a newly repaired consol. How _dare_ Luke meddle with his bond with Rey! He nearly had her! Night after night, hour after hour he had controlled Rey’s dreams, moulded her comfort into his advantage. He had fought for her, pushed his claim upon her and taken her time and time again. Kylo felt that this was the last time, that all Rey needed was one final push and she would have come willing to him. Now because of his pathetic uncle, his work was undone and the inevitable pushed back. It was ridiculous. Luke knew just as well he did there was no going back from this. Rey would come to him it was just a matter of when.

The little scavenger was his to play with. His very own possession. She would submit to him just as she had on Coruscant. Rey was _his._ It had driven him to the point of insanity that she had run out on him, _left_ him lying in a cold bed and denying him what was rightfully his. He had made her pay. He had used his anger to show Rey his displeasure with her. Negative reinforcement was a tool the First Order used to train their soldiers and a technique that would work well on Rey. He would cause her physical pain when she did something wrong and if she was smart Rey would avoid those actions in the future. He would train he just like he would train a dog. The unrefined little scavenger that had occupied his thoughts would be transformed from coal to a diamond and worthy of standing next to him.

Then there was Skywalkers new apprentice. He hated this child. He could feel Luke’s approval whenever the boy got close to Rey and it reminded him of the pressure his family had put on him. This boy was everything Luke wished he had been and it disgusted him. He would tear the boy down before his training advanced and he would use Rey to do it. Kylo had picked up on Luke’s thoughts. He assumed that Rey was scared of herself but that wasn’t the case. She was scared of _him_. He had control of his signature, not Rey and he could use it however he wanted as long as Rey kept their connection open. The idea thrilled Kylo to no end. He didn’t even have to be in the same room as the boy to destroy him. The padawan just needed to be near Rey. The best part about it was that his power had _excited_ Rey.

The scavenger had felt his bloodlust to kill Luke’s new student. Rey had flourished in it and at one point s _he_ had even considered using the dark force around her. It amused him greatly. This wasn’t the Jedi he had come to know. This Rey was something different, a tormented mixture of light and dark just as he was himself. They had dealt with the bond in very different ways. While Rey had separated the two parts, keeping the light close to her and the dark at a distance. Kylo had allowed her light to mould around his darkness and then he suffocated it. He had feed the light tendrils with his darkness and he had felt pleased when his red bleed into her blue vein like structures until there was no sign of it left.

Without Rey knowing he had basically destroyed half of her signature and left her desperately clinging to that which remained around her. There was no going back from this because she had nothing to pull back from him and if she tried all it would result in her being tainted further.

For now, Kylo’s job was done. He would sit in the shadows of Rey’s mind and wait. He wouldn’t pull back completely though. Kylo would feed her insecurities and doubts and he would convince her that the whispers he planted were her own. All the while he would let her fall into a false sense of security and let her and those around her believe that she was winning. He would let that brat of a child near her, convince him that it was _safe_ and when the opportunity arose he would force Rey to strangle the life out of him and he would make sure that Rey _enjoyed_ it. Then and only then he would summon Rey to him and he would welcome her with open arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think of Kylo's thoughts! I'm going to go listen to Slipknots, the grey chapter and try figure out how to write him better.   
> Thank you all for the amazing feedback and sorry if im posting these chapters so quickly! My mind has just taken off with this and i'm just posting as i go!


	4. Chapter 4

Rey sat in the corner of her room, her head back against the wall and staring at the roof. Outside two Resistance fighters she had not met before stood, a precautionary measure as Leia had stated. She could hear them through the walls, joking and teasing each other. It made her smile. Everything since Coruscant had been so intense it was nice to hear something so positive. Rey closed her eyes and pushed the force out, wanting to touch that light happiness only to hiss and pull it back quickly. The destructiveness of the dark had reach for it to.

Rey cursed. She had tried numerous times to use the force but anytime she did it felt foreign and frightful to her. Usually she would feel a sense of calm, a joyful pleasure. Now it was if her signature was being restrained, dominated and pushed back. She was just still so weak and the dark vines moved quicker than her light ones. Somehow she would find a balance and beat this but at the moment she was at a loss. She was useless.

When Rey had learned she could use the force it was a thrill. After all the years on Jakku being beaten down day after day, her daily struggles just to stay alive she had finally felt _powerful_. Her life was finally in her hands, the universe open to her and now…now she just felt trapped again. It was if she was back in that tiny AT-AT waiting to be rescued. She hit the floor out of angry and quickly scolded herself for lashing out. After waking up she learned fairly quickly her emotions were heightened and her ability to control them was very limited. The dull ache in her chest did not help. It was there, throbbing with a range of intensities. It was if Kylo Ren had his hand physically wrapped around her heart, clenching it in different rhythm that he found amusing. Sometimes the throb would be dull and placid while other times it had her yelling out in pain as the invisible hand clutched it so tightly she thought it would crumble into dust. 

Luke hadn’t been to visit her yet. Rey felt doubt curl in her mind over it and her insecurities of abandonment were starting to rear their heads. Rey wasn’t sure if it was her vulnerable state that was making them worse or if Kylo was dabbling in that region of her mind. It was strange to her to know he was with her. Sometimes she felt fearful and others it was a welcomed comfort. Rey had always been alone with her thoughts and feeling someone there, even if it was Kylo Ren was nice. She knew she shouldn’t feel that way but Rey did. She would never admit it but all she ever wanted was not to be alone. The fear was crippling at some points as well though. It had her questioning if her thoughts were her own or his dark whispers. The lines blurred so violently that she felt as if Kylo Ren had control of her and those times she had pushed herself into the furthest corner of the room to hide.

A knock on the door snapped her out of her thoughts and she stood up quickly, brushing her pants off that were covered in the floors dust. Poe poked his head in, a warm smile on his face and a plate of food in his hands. Rey’s stomach growled out in hunger which caused her to blush. She was used to being on the point of starvation but anything that wasn’t portion bread sung to her senses. “How are ya holding up today?”

“Better than yesterday” Rey grimaced. Yesterday had not been a good day at all. Kylo Ren had thrown a shit fit wherever he was and Rey had been on the receiver end of it. It hadn’t been painful it had just been intense. Rey had trashed her room due to it, an action that was very unlike her but she just needed to do something to get rid of the massive amounts of anger she had felt.

“Leia said she wants to come see you today” Poe handed her the plate and Rey returned to her spot on the floor, folding her legs together while Poe sat opposite her.

“Good. I enjoy making that bastard suffer” Rey chuckled. It had become obvious to her very quickly that Kylo Ren hated his mother being around Rey because their connection had an effect on him to.

Rey saw Leia as the mother figure she never had and this caused Rey to have warm but strong emotions around the woman. Rey could feel it made Kylo Ren falter because she felt the ache in her heart soften slightly and she now purposefully went out of her way to send any powerful light emotion in his direction. If anger was his weapon, then love would be hers. Rey didn’t want to get her hopes up but she had begun to wonder if she could bring forth any kind of affection from Kylo towards his mother and maybe it could make a difference.

“How’s the force using going?” Poe watched her eat and Rey blushed. She knew she didn’t eat in the most graceful manor. Her go to utensils were her hands and she could be sloppy at times.

“Same old. I’m not sure whether that’s due to me still recovering, fear of hurting someone or he’s just stronger than me in general. For now I’m happy just testing it out and see how far I can get with it” Poe nodded and sighed. He was the only one Rey would open up to. To talk about Kylo Ren with his uncle and mother unsettled her and she felt it was to personal. She loved them dearly but they were like parents to her and Poe was a friend, there was no judgement from him.

“Anaku’s been talking about you today…” Poe stared at her hard for a second and Rey cringed. Kylo Ren was silent but she felt the core connection to him pulse once at the mention of his name.

“He seems like a good student” Rey’s comment was bland but it held a hint of jealousy. Rey really wanted to like Anaku and spend some time with him but Kylo’s feelings towards him had mixed with hers on the matter and she wasn’t sure how she truly felt about being around the young boy.

“He’s a good kid. A little odd though. He’s pretty focused on his studies that sometimes it’s like talking to a wall. A blank slate really” Poe stated “He did say he had been looking forward to spar with you”

“A kid? Sparing with me? Nonsense” Rey waved her hand and bit her lip. She sounded so _arrogant_ and irritated at the idea of it and she didn’t know why. She really did want to get to know Anaku and teach him a few things. Luke wasn’t as good when it came to sparing with a staff and it would be good for Anaku to be exposed to as many potential weapons as possible. “Sorry Poe. I don’t know why I said that”

“We both know why you did and it’s okay. The Rey I know isn’t threatened by a thirteen-year-old kid” Poe chuckled, taking a jab at Kylo Ren. Surprisingly the man stayed silent and Rey let out a relieved sigh. “I think you should give it a go Rey. You can’t stay in here forever hiding”

“It’s up to Leia. She’s the one who decides if I’m stable enough to be let loose on the base” Rey chuckled. “I know she’s itching to though”

“She misses seeing you around. Speaking of people missing you…” Poe stood up and poked his head out of the door. Rey cocked her head to the side. She had only let a few people into her room so far and they were the one’s she had figured out that Kylo Ren wasn’t entirely angry about.

“The hell are you doing moping in here for Rey” She jumped up and threw herself at her first ever friend. Finn clutched her to him tightly, just as happy to see her and possibly more. They stood for a few minutes like that, enjoying being in each other’s arms.

“What are you doing here!” Rey exclaimed as she stood back to take him in and almost believing it was a dream.

“Poe told me you needed me so I jumped on the next ship to Ho- “Rey pressed her hand against the darked skinned man’s mouth, holding a finger up to her lips. That was the one thing Rey had managed to keep hidden from Kylo Ren. Their location had been locked away in what Rey imagined to be a force safe. It was the one part of her mind she had worked hard to shield and Kylo had tried many times to get at it.

“We can’t discuss Resistance locations” Rey pulled back “In fact, we can’t discuss anything to do with the Resistance”

“What? Why not? It’s just us here” Finn looked at her as if she had lost her mind “Have we been infiltrated by a spy or something?”

“No…” Rey went back to her spot in the corner and the two men followed her “Well I guess you could put it that way”

“You’re seriously freaking me out Rey. Poe said you were having a mental break down or something. Are you cracking under the stress? Do I need to search the universe for a quack?” Rey let out a booming laugh and she realised she hadn’t laughed like this since Coruscant. The ache in her heart softened and she felt herself slightly relax.

“Rey’s made a new friend” Poe chuckled, giving her a wink “Turns out Kylo Ren has a thing for Jedi”

“The fuck are you on about Poe? Have you caught Rey’s bug? Is this thing infectious?” Rey and Poe laughed together. Finn had jumped up and dramatically pushed himself towards the door, his face panicked.

“Finn. Sit down and let me explain” Rey was still laughing when she patted the floor again. It was nice to be with her friends. She felt normal. Finn cautiously sat down, still keeping what he considered a safe distance between them.

“Why do I get the feeling this isn’t anything good?” Finn muttered. Rey took a deep breath and her hands began to shake. So far she hadn’t had to tell anyone _anything_. Poe had filled Leia in and Luke had spent weeks trying to undo what she did so there had been no reason to tell the story start to finish. Now that she had to say it out loud though it felt heavy on her tongue and she realised this wasn’t going to be easy. How was she supposed to explain to Finn of all people? He had literally run away from Kylo Ren and the First Order. Finn had turned his back on the institution and now Rey had to basically shrug her shoulders and say hey, I slept with your sadistic leader and now I’m forever force bonded with him.

“Before Rey tells you Finn, you have to promise me that whatever anger you have, it be directed at me” Poe hung his head and the room filled with a heavy, ashamed atmosphere from both the pilot and Rey. “I let you down pal”

“What the fuck happened. You guys are making it sound like someone’s died” Finn looked between them, his face grim with his lips in a thin line. His usual boyish features had hardened and his dark eyes narrowed.

“We…We went to Coruscant to let loose a bit” Rey started “We all got a bit drunk and you know I’ve never been to a place like that before” Poe grabbed her hand for support and she pulled it back, hissing in a warning. They both knew that Kylo Ren had an issue with others touching her. His anger hadn’t affected her when she had hugged Finn and Rey assumed it was due to her being so happy to see him that it blocked out Kylo’s ability to cause her pain in that second. Now it was different. Kylo had pricked her signature with his in a warning.

“Sorry” Poe frowned. Rey knew it was putting a strain on their friendship; it was like a wall had been place between them and all they could do was talk. While it was nice, to be completely devoid of another’s contact was rather isolating.

“I was having fun. I let loose for the first time in a long time and there was this guy…” Rey bit her lip, her eyes filling with tears at the thought of it.

“Holy fuck. You’re pregnant!” Finn’s eyes widened and he looked down to her thin stomach.

“Will you shut up for a second” Rey snapped in irritation. She felt Kylo tune into her conversation and he chuckled. It caused her to shiver in delight and Rey cursed. She hated that he had any pleasurable effect on her. “Sorry Finn”

“No, I’ll just listen from now on. This doesn’t seem to be easy for you” Finn scratched the back of his head awkwardly “You’re not…pregnant though are you?”

“No…” Rey clutched her head, took in a shaky breath and decided to rip the bandage off “I had sex with Kylo Ren and now I’m force bonded with him”

The room went silent. Finn’s face was completely blank and Poe had attempted to place himself in front of Rey slightly so that if Finn got angry he was in the firing line. As time went by his face contorted into a range of emotions. First disbelief, then disappointment. That one hurt the most for Rey, she had never wanted to let her friends down and especially not Finn. He was her first friend, her best friend. Finn meant the world to her. It was if Finn was trying to decide how to feel and it wasn’t until he stood up that Rey felt a stab of despair.

He walked away from her. Finn had stood up without a word, opened the door and slammed it behind him. It was the worst thing he could have ever done. Rey could take him yelling at her, she could handle him crying or asking questions but saying nothing? It caused her to think of how her family had left her on Jakku. They had turned their backs on her without a word and never come back.

_“It hurts to be abandoned Rey”_ Kylo’s voice slipped into her head and she squeezed her eyes shut, trying to push him out but she couldn’t grab a hold of herself to truly focus on it _“Poor little scavenger. Do you realise how trivial these bonds are? One action and an entire relationship destroyed”_

_“Shut up!”_ Rey screamed back _“He isn’t gone! He’s just….”_

_“He’s just what? Ashamed? Angry? Disgusted?”_ Kylo pushed _“Face it Rey. If everyone knew what we did they would all leave you. Skywalker fears you, Leia can’t look you in the eyes. Flyboy is only here because he feels guilty. You have no one Rey, no one but me”_

_“That’s not true! They care! They would never leave me”_ Rey let out a sob and cradled her arms around herself.

_“I would never leave you Rey. I will always be here, no matter what happens. Come to me Rey and you will never have to be alone again”_ Rey felt her shield crack slightly, enough for a thin tendril to slip through. Rey cringed and tried to focus on pushing it out but it crept forward slowly like a virus _“You know it’s true Rey. I want you, all of you. Every flaw I will embrace. Just say the words and I will never leave your side”_

_“I…”_ Rey’s body began to shake and tears slipped from her eyes _. “Please stop it”_

_“One day Rey I will give you the world”_ She felt Kylo slip away and she was finally alone in her mind again. Now her thoughts were her own and she, without his help was doubting the relationships she had made. Rey shivered as a coldness seeped from the invading dark force behind her shield. A seed had been sown behind her defences and Rey didn’t know if she could stop it.

“Rey” Poe had his arms wrapped around her. Her head was cradled into his chest and he was clutching onto her for dear life. “Whatever he said to you Rey don’t listen. It’s all lies”

“He left” Rey wailed “Finn left me!”

“He just needs time Rey” Poe placed a kiss into her hair. Their relationship was completely platonic; they both knew it. Poe was like the older brother she never had and she didn’t know what she would do if he wasn’t around. Sometimes she felt he was the only thing keeping her sane. But maybe…maybe Kylo Ren was right. Maybe Poe was here because he felt obligated to out of guilt.

Anger churned in her gut and Rey fought him. Poe pulled her tighter against him, taking every hit, scratch and bite. Rey was screaming at him, cursing every name she could think of and frantically trying to get him to let go. Poe didn’t. He just held on, not saying a word and making shushing sounds into her hair. Rey wanted him to stop. She wanted to hate him before he hurt her. Rey wanted to be the one to leave for once. Poe didn’t give her that desire. He just waited patiently until she had no more strength left in her and she went limp in his arms. Her chest heaved with her heavy breaths, her eyes stung from shed tears and her throat felt swollen from her yelling. Guilt wracked her body and Rey hated that she had lashed out at him like that. All he had ever done was been there for her.

“I’m so sorry Poe” Rey croaked. Poe’s grip loosened but he didn’t let her go. He knew that right now she just needed to have someone show that they cared. “Do you…do you hate me now to?”

“No Rey. I could never hate you and Finn doesn’t either” Poe’s voice was soft and reassuring “Finn won’t be mad at you Rey. He will be many things but I can tell you for a fact he’s more pissed at himself that he wasn’t there to protect you”

“How? How do you know that Poe! You saw how he looked at me” Rey murmured back. Poe took a deep breath.

“I know because that’s exactly how I feel Rey except I was there and I did nothing. I…We…We don’t blame you. We blame ourselves and it hurts us to see you this way. We love you and all we want to do is be there for you. Finn just needs time to figure that out and once he does I promise you he will bust that door down and apologise until he loses his voice” Rey looked up at him, her bottom lip trembling. No one had ever cared for her the way her friends had. She was lucky that she had met such wonderful people. “We will get you through this Rey. You aren’t alone in this okay?”

“Thank you Poe” He winked at her and gave her one last squeeze before letting her go.

“I’ll tell Leia you aren’t up for a visit today. Get some sleep alright and I’ll go talk to that moron for ya” Poe helped her up and led her over to the single cot bed. Rey climbed in and Poe pulled the blankets up over her before he leant down a placed a soft kiss on her head “I’ve got your back kid”

………………………………

Kylo really did not like Hux. He would say he hated him but that meant caring about the man’s opinion which he did not. A small part of him respected that he was a strategic genius but it was countered by the fact that Hux was a rat. He ran towards glory yet refused to do the hard miles, running whenever his metaphorical whiskers tweaked at the sign of danger. Kylo on the other hand ran towards it, ready to cut whatever stood in his way down. He may be brash but he got the job done when it was important the most. It was Kylo that put his body on the line for Snoke. Hux just sat in his control center and used stolen children turned soldiers to do his bidding. It was pathetic really.

The Knight of Ren was thankful of his mask today. Sometimes he found it suffocating but in situations like this it was a welcome accessory. The entire time Hux had been talking, data pad in hand as he went over nonsense Kylo could care less about he had been prodding into Rey’s head and he had been rewarded greatly for it. Who knew that traitor FN-2187 would come in handy. He had reacted so perfectly that it had caused Rey’s defence to crack enough to allow some progress since Skywalkers interference.

Kylo played with the small, string like strand, winding it through Rey’s body as she slept. He was determined to get it so ingrained into her that it couldn’t be snapped like the others and if it did part of it would still remain and be able to continue to spread its roots. It was a victory, a small one but better than nothing. It was a victory that he had needed since Rey’s light had not been destroyed like he had assumed.

The first time Kylo noticed the light from Rey’s signature lived within his dark one was a slight tug. It wasn’t anything really noticeable but it had made him second guess a command which was dangerous. He could not show hesitation and if it happened in front of Snoke he would be in trouble. The next time it had happened Kylo had been in bed, worn out from a mission that had gone wrong. Snoke had not been kind when he had torn into his mind as punishment and it had left him weak. The warmth he had felt had been too tempting and for a split second Kylo had welcomed the comfort of it. He had remembered what it was like to feel his mother’s calm embrace.

It had been years since he had thought about his mother in an affectionate manner. Leia Organa was just an obstacle to be crushed just as Han solo had been. To actually care for the irritating woman could hinder him greatly and stop him from reaching his goals. He had come too far to let the Jedi scavenger use the connection in such a way. It did cause him to feel prideful to know she had learnt to use his own trick against him and he hadn’t expected anything less of her. Rey had always been a worthy opponent and now it was a game of keeps; winner take all.

“Ren, I assume you agree with this matter?” Kylo turned in the Generals direction and nodded his head to make it look like he was listening. “Good. I will inform our hosts of our attendance”

“Good” Kylo narrowed his eyes at Hux’s smug smirk that he sent in his direction. They both knew full well he wasn’t listening and he hated the fact Hux had finally gotten him to agree to one of Coruscant socialite parties. The man had been trying for weeks, expressing that it would be good for the First Order to been seen more as a military operation than one of evil and that required Kylo dipping his toes in outside social circles.

The room cleared out until only two of them remained. Hux was ignoring him, his focus on the data pad in his hand. Kylo stood up stalking towards him and towering over the smaller man. Hux wasn’t fazed. This is why Kylo couldn’t stand the man. He refused to acknowledge Kylo’s position and power while knowing full well he could snap his neck like a twig. Hux saw himself on equal ground with Kylo. He saw himself _equal_ to a force user.

“I’ve sent the invitation to your datapad” Hux finally looked up. “It would do well not to wear that hideous mask, we don’t want to scare our hosts as we need their support” Kylo grunted in response.

“Any intel about Resistance bases?” Hux shook his head and Kylo clenched his fists. He had been so _close_. The traitor had nearly spilled everything if Rey hadn’t of stopped him “Search every system for planet’s starting with H O that have known Resistance ties, past and present”

“That’s very detailed” Hux replied. “Any particular reason?”

“You know why” Kylo narrowed his eyes in a deadly fashion. Snoke had learned very quickly of his bond and Hux just so happened to be there when the Supreme leader had brought it up. Now Hux took every opportunity to use it to push his buttons.

Kylo didn’t have proof but he _knew_ Hux had something to do with Rey slipping between his fingers that morning. This pathetic creature had taken what was _his_ under his nose and he threw it in Kylos face whenever possible. Nobody fucked with his possessions and Rey was on the top of that list now. His obsession to hunt her down and kill her had shifted quite dramatically and now his nights were filled with the memory of her writhing under him in bed. It infuriated him that this peasant had taken that potential daily pleasure from him.

“I will get someone on that right away. While I find this…infatuation questionable I do agree that it has it’s uses” Hux waved him off and Kylo snapped. He threw the ginger haired man into the wall with a force push, holding him there as he clenched his fingers ever so slightly. Hux gasped, his eyes wide. It had been an increasing trend of physical violence towards personal and not consoles since Kylo had completed his training, but this was the first time he had ever directed it towards Hux. Kylo walked forward, enjoying seeing the man’s fear in his eyes.

“I know it was you” Kylo stated calmly “I had her and y _ou_ had to meddle”

“I did not!” Hux croaked out. Kylo let out a bitter laugh.

“Do you really thing you can lie to me _General_?” He spat “You know I have ways of finding out the truth”

“The scavenger is merely a distraction, I could not afford-“ His gripped tighten on Hux’s throat at the man’s confession.

“A distraction? That scavenger has potential which you do not” Kylo finally dropped him, lowering his hand slowly. Hux feel to the floor, gasping for breath and the blue colour of his lips slowly faded “Stay the fuck out of my way Hux. Rey and my business with her has nothing to do with you”

“You think he will let you keep a pet?” Hux laughed “Snoke will kill her”

“Oh Hux. The only person who decides the fate of my personal possessions is me. Snoke doesn’t give a shit what I do as long as I get results” Kylo found it amusing that Hux thought he had everything figured out “In fact. Snoke approves because this time Rey can’t run for long. The process has already begun and when it’s finished Snoke will have two powerful force users and you will no longer have any importance”

“You think you could run the entire body of military might?” Hux laughed “You are nothing but a perpetual child Ren, the girl will not change that”

“We shall see” Kylo spun on his heel and went to walk away but stopped “I will go to your little party but you would do your best to stay out of my way, we wouldn’t want a disagreement such as this one to break out in front of our hosts”

 


	5. Training and dinner parties

Rey watched Anaku and Luke train silently from the corner of the mess hall. The base on Hoth had two halls but Leia had put one aside for training purposes as outside was too rough of an environment for most. It was a bit run down. The flooring had slumped in the far corner from being un-maintained for so long which made it unsuitable for socialising purposes but perfect for sparing. It gave training a bit more of an edge as you had to be aware of where you were stepping. Thankfully the roof had been repaired and there was no longer a threat of it falling in on them but it was still rather cold and the chill caused Rey to wear a jacket. It seemed to be the only area of the base that hadn’t been heated and it made Rey laugh at the memory of hearing Luke complain to Leia. He wasn’t fond of cold planets and Hoth seemed to be a sore point for him.

Anaku was doing well. Luke of course was being lenient on him as he was more concerned that his padawan got his stances and sequences right. The boy was picking it up quickly and Rey put it down to his hard work. He wasn’t like Rey or Kylo Ren. His force capability was only half of what theirs were but Rey was certain over time he would become a good Jedi. He wouldn’t be overly powerful but it was his calm demeanour and logical mind that would compensate for that. He was in control of his movements and he didn’t exert any unnecessary energy unlike Rey who could be overcome by her excitement.

Luke had recovered and had convinced Leia that locking Rey away was not a good idea. Being left in isolation with nothing but her thoughts was not productive in the slightest and it gave Kylo Ren to much potential to influence Rey further. Luke had been right of course, getting out of her room gave her the chance of being distracted. She hadn’t joined their training sessions as she preferred to just observe until she could trust herself not to lash out. Being around Luke and Anaku was comforting. She enjoyed watching them banter and seeing the young boy grown under her Masters tutorage. It was good for Luke to have a student that wasn’t troublesome.

“Rey. Come join us” Luke waved her over and she shook her head. Her master sighed, lowering his practice weapon. “Rey, if you don’t train your skills will diminish”

“Not today. Tomorrow I promise” It was the same reply every day.

“Rey. I need you to train. We leave soon and it is possible we will come up against the First Order. If you are too scared to fight you will endanger not only yourself but us as well” Rey bit her lip before she slowly moved to a stand. Luke moved Anaku away to a position where he could observe and the ignition of his lightsaber echoed around the room. Rey pulled hers out, enjoying the feeling of having it back in her hand. It was like an extension of herself and she cherished it as if it was a friend.

Rey ignited both ends and inhaled deeply at the familiar sense of power that washed over her. A shift occurred in her. She had gotten so used to feeling scared of herself that her confidence had sunk to an all-time low but with her lightsaber in her hand she felt strong again. Luke watched her for a minute, trying to judge her feelings in that moment and if she was stable enough to continue. Rey spun the staff around a few times, twirling it between her fingers before taking a defensive stance. One leg was behind the other and she was slightly crouched.

Luke brought his lightsaber down and Rey spun to the left, catching the end of it with the bottom of hers. The two blades hissed when they connected and Luke swung at her again, attacking her open side. Rey rolled out of the way, cursing that he had nearly gotten her and she realised how rusty she was. Usually she was pretty good at reading the old Jedi’s moves. It made Rey more determined to do well and prove to herself that she could still do this.

They danced around the room, each of the trying to take an advantage but neither of them gaining. Luke’s movements were like Anaku’s previously was. Calm, controlled and purposeful while Rey was going off instinct and excitement. Dancing like this made her feel like herself finally and gave her back some control in her life. Here it was just Rey, in her element and doing what she did best. Her movements quickened and Luke began to struggle. The age and energy levels between them starting to wean the force of his attacks and Luke decided to switch to complete defence to conserve his energy. Rey noticed and pulled back, not wanting to get carried away.

“Good Rey” Luke smiled. The turned their weapons off and they stood across from each other, panting and sweating. “How do you feel?”

“Like myself again” Rey threw herself into Luke and wrapped her arms around him “Thank you for believing in me”

“Alright, alright. Let’s not get to carried away” Luke chuckled, patting her on the back “We still have a long way to go but it’s a start”

“This…this is the first time I’ve been able to block him out completely” Rey whispered “I couldn’t feel him at all. I was just…I was so happy and I felt like _me_ again”

“Don’t let your guard down Rey” Luke scolded “At all times you must focus on keeping him out. This time you were lucky but you must remember that even if it feels like you are alone you are not. If he is being quiet, it is for a reason”

“Yes master” Rey murmured “Thank you for encouraging me to train”

“Anaku” Luke waved the boy over who was staring at Rey in awe. It was nice having him look at her with something other than fear. “What did you think?”

“You’re amazing Rey” the boy blushed looking to the side. He was still shy from what Rey could see but his time at the base had been opening him up more. “I hope I can fight like you one day”

“I’m sure you will” Rey crouched down and ruffled the short hair on his head. “Just practice hard alright”

“Could you...help me one day?” Rey looked to Luke who nodded his head but she doubted herself. While today went well she wasn’t sure how far she could push it and the last thing she wanted was to involve herself with Anaku just to end up with him hurt.

“Soon. Once I’m feeling a bit better” Rey stood up and gave him a gentle smile. She really did like him. He was a sweet boy, a little on the quiet side but not everyone had grown up as Rey had. He obviously came from a very caring family and he had no need up until this point to assert himself.

“I can sense it” Anaku looked up at her, bouncing on foot to foot before raising his hand “I can sense it there” He pointed to her heart and Rey frowned. “It’s not as strong as before”

“No, it’s not” Rey’s face softened. It was obvious her masters new padawan had a gift for tuning into his senses but they were slightly skewed. Rey hated that she had lied but she wasn’t about to spill her secrets and burden Anaku with that. Kylo hadn’t gotten weaker, she was just slowly getting strong. As she grew so did Kylo but it was balancing out slowly, giving the illusion his hold was diminishing. “I should get back to my room”

“No, you must join everyone for dinner Rey” Luke placed a hand on her shoulder. Rey wanted to shrug it off as a familiar burning started.

“No, not yet” She stepped back, placing a fake smile on her lips.

“Rey. You cannot hide away forever. The only way to get stronger is to surround yourself with people who love and care for you” The burning intensified and Rey let out a soft gasp. “Rey?”

“I’m fine” Rey held back the pain from showing on her face but she wiggled her fingers in an attempt to distract herself “I’ll be in my room”

“Rey. Please eat with us” Anaku grabbed her hand. His deep blue eyes looked up at her wavering as he pleaded for her company “No one should be alone”

“Aw kiddo. How can I say no to that” Anaku didn’t let go of her hand and she began to wonder if this was what it was like to have a little brother. Luke looked between them not saying a word but his eyes said it all. He was proud of them both. Proud of Anaku for reaching past his fear and reaching out to Rey and proud of Rey for taking a step out of her self-imposed isolation.

…………………………………….

The dinner was stifling. It was just a bunch of rich, pompous morons trying to one up each other and Kylo Ren somehow managed to restrain himself. He didn’t know why Hux thought it was a good idea that he attended this narcissistic dinner. He hated the people, the food and the flashy show of fake power his hosts we’re trying to portray. Kylo scoffed. These people somehow felt that possessions equalled social standing and thus power. It was an illusion, a false security. Strip them of their home, their possessions and their money and what was left was week old spit on the sidewalk; noticeable but disgusting.

All these people wanted was to feel important, to have people listen to their drabbled bullshit and acknowledge their fake, over used credentials. The wife was nothing more than a social climbing leech, obviously brought up to attract a man with money. The husband, a senator who made his fortune on back handed deals and brought bids. The daughter, a younger version of her mother. Vain, fickle and looking at him as if he was her ticket to the big time. It unnerved him and Kylo sent her a glare which only made her chuckle.

Kylo sneered in disgust, lifting the glass of wine to his lips. He hated not wearing his mask in front of these arrogant, disillusioned brats. Hux coughed next to him, an attempt at reminding him to keep face in front of them. Kylo pursed his lips but said nothing. He would not waste time on menial banter.

The senate was gone but remains were still left. A small scattering of people that had convened on this pitfall of a planet. The scum outnumbered the good in Kylo’s mind though as those Hux considered valuable had been given a pre warning before he had used his compensating weapon on the republic. The majority had relations with the First Order due to trade deals, ones that Hux had felt were worth keeping. Those deals had grown with the Republics undoing due to the restrictions placed now lifting. With no one to bark orders and enforce rules those willing to put money over life profited greatly.

“What exactly is it that you do in the First Order?” The wife asked, her voice high pitched and arrogant. Kylo flicked his attention to her, annoyance crossing his features. She was a twig of a woman with nothing of substance. Her hair was pulled tightly back on her head, almost oily looking with the amount of product worked into it. Her eyes we’re beady, sharp and Kylo knew she could be quick if she wanted to be, after all woman do not hold the position she held next to her husband for as long as she had. The brains of the family, however lowly they were and he could see her trying to direct him in a corner he did not like.

“That is none of your concern” He replied back coolly “If you are really interested I could show you but I cannot promise that it would be pleasant” He fondled the handle of his lightsaber clipped onto his belt

“You must be high ranking for General Hux to insist on your company tonight” She pressed, not happy with his answer.

“If you are implying I work under the General you are mistaken” He looked to Hux who was fuming next to him. They both knew it was true, Kylo was the one in charge. The daughter’s smile widened at him repulsively and he shuddered. It wasn’t hard to figure out who she took after.

“Married?” The daughter questioned, leaning forward to eagerly.

“No” Hux coughed beside him and the attention snapped back to him. Kylo, for the first time since meeting the man was thankful of his interruption.

“It’s about time we discuss the real reason for this lovely dinner” The woman’s faces soured but they didn’t object and quietly left the room. Kylo felt himself relax considerably. The woman unnerved him, staring at him as if he was the next prize to clasp onto and further their social standing. They were fools; cunning leech likeminded creatures looking for the next pathetic sap to sink their claws into to.

“Sorry about them boys” The senator laughed leaning back in his seat and flinging his hand on the back of his chair “Those women are the bane of my existence, money grabbing little whores looking for their next mark”

“What a lovely way to talk about your wife and daughter” Hux murmured unimpressed. Kylo chuckled, it seemed the man was well aware of the situation he was in.

“They’re bitches. The wife hooked onto me when I was a youngling, got herself knocked up and my mother forced me to marry her. Now I’ve got two of them sucking the money and life from me” Kylo laughed and the man raised a glass to him “This one gets it”

“I sympathise” Hux massaged his temples but didn’t interject.

“You got a wife?” Kylo shook his head. “Keep it that way. It’s all fun and games until you put a ring on them, then after that all they do is fucking nag and ask for handouts”

“It would depend on the woman would it not?” Kylo questioned, quirking his eyebrow.

“You’re right. Once had this sweet little thing” the man sighed, looking down at his glass and swirling it around “Strong, independent. Wouldn’t let me pay for a thing and always had me laughing. Brought the best man out of me she did, not like the bitch I’m stuck with now. Shouldn’t have been distracted by a pretty face. Not a day goes by that I don’t regret that choice. Heard she married some Resistance fighter and got herself killed, got a daughter who’s a pilot in it to. Nothing like my devil spawn. Got the raw end of that shit I did”

“A traitor” Hux muttered under his breath. Kylo clenched his fist, his annoyance at Hux growing again.

“It would depend what side you we’re on. Are we not traitors to them?” The senator countered “All them Resistance fighters are feisty”

“You have sympathies for them?” Hux had his back up and Kylo understood why. They couldn’t work with those who could turn on them if asked.

“Nah. I’m too greedy. I may enjoy a feisty woman but my heart lies with credits. With the republic in shambles my lifestyle is threatened so best to back the side which can promise me a guaranteed credit flow” He rapped on the table before turning back to Kylo “You wanna take my daughter?”

“No” Kylo replied back bluntly.

“This trade is for the resources under your controls. I understand you currently control the mines on Mustafar” The man nodded, flicking his eyes back to Kylo then to Hux. “If we offer you 1000 credits per ounce will you supply the First Order exclusively?”

“Getting 1200 at the moment, if you can’t top that I’m not interested” Kylo’s anger twitched. There was no way this man was getting that many credits per ounce. The market value had dropped this past week due to the lack of trade.

“1000 credits” Kylo unclipped his lightsaber and placed into on the table unignited. The man eyed it, paling slightly and sitting up in surprise.

“How about 1000 and I throw in my daughter?” His voice was shaky but he still had his humour.

“We are not babysitters” Hux stated calmly. “1000 credits per ounce is our price, we will not negotiate and I advise you not to try again. Kylo Ren here is not a patient man so I would recommend you do not waste anymore of our time”

“Y-yeah. 1000 it is” The wine sloshed in the glass as he lifted it to his lips with a shaky hand.

“Excellent” Hux clapped his hands and stood up, his chair screeching against the floor beneath it. “We must depart now. Do tell you wife and daughter we enjoyed our evening. I will be in contact soon with further details of our agreement”

“Y-yeah” He didn’t stand up and it satisfied Kylo to no end. While he had enjoyed the man’s company somewhat it was always a thrill to see those with a sense of grandeur wilt before him. Kylo grabbed his lightsaber and buckled it on his belt before giving the man a nod. He swept out before Hux and stepped out onto the platform that led to the sky outside.

“You used me as a buffer” He didn’t turn to face Hux but he had an edge to his voice.

“Those women are vile, they make business hard and I assumed by bringing you their attention would be diverted” Hux pulled out his data pad and began noting down the meeting.

 “I do not appreciate being used like that Hux, you’re lucky the senator had been slightly amusing” Hux shut the data pad off “Any progress on the Resistance base?”

“I suspect it is on Hoth. I have yet to validate it and once I do I will inform Snoke” Kylo tried to hide his disgust but a small glimpse of it snuck through and Hux looked at him poignantly. “You know of Hoth?”

Kylo not only knew of Hoth, he had been there. His mother had dragged him to the snow covered ice hell when he was a boy. He had been excited then only to be disappointed. The young Ben Solo had expected his mother to tell him the old war stories his father dismissed with a flippant wave of the hand. Instead he had been stuck on the Falcon with that Wookie he once called uncle playing Dejarik. Kylo pushed past Hux. He would not allow this pest of a man to stir up any memories, it had been hard enough to fight of Rey’s unintentional reminders.

“Mobilise the fleet” Hux sighed, annoyed at how Kylo bypassed the usual protocols.

“I would prefer to speak with the Supreme leader first, Ren” The Knight of Ren gave no reply. They both knew how this would end.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firstly let me apologise for this taking so long! I've had such amazing reviews on this and i've tried my best to get back to writing asap but sadly i am a uni student and my priority has been directed towards assignments and placement!  
> I will try my best to keep this updated regularly but at the moment it's a bit hard.   
> I'm doing a nursing degree so i'm at placement right now and swamp with the paper work that goes with it and on top of that i'm doing a creative writing paper and my fiction portfolio is due in a few weeks.   
> I hope you all understand that it's alot of work to juggle but i haven't abandoned this story so please be patient with me!  
> I'm not super happy with this chapter but it was something i felt i needed to write to continue on with my plot.  
> Let me know what you think as i'm more than happy to go back a tweak it if it's not that great!


	6. The truth?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello and welcome back!  
> I apologise for this chapter being so short and abrupt.  
> I have an idea of how i want this event to go but i'm finding it had to write it so i'm posting this to gain much needed feedback for me to grow the next chapter and write it well!  
> Any comments, suggestions or criticism (no hate please only constructive!) is welcome as i have fallen in love with writing this story and want you all to enjoy reading it as much as i love writing it.   
> I would also like to thank you all for being so patient.   
> I know it's been a while since i uploaded due to my uni workload but now that most of it is out of the way i plan to write more frequently!

They sat across from each other. Rey on the bed with her legs crossed and Finn on the floor, one leg stretched out and the other bent with his hand resting on top. Neither spoke as they attempted to assess each other and figure out how to approach the conversation they had put off for so long. Rey sighed before shaking her head and her eyes softened. Finn brushed a hand through his hair before letting out a soft chuckle.

“We really messed this up didn’t we,” he started, “Look Rey. I’m sorry I was such a jerk.”

“No, I’m sorry Finn. I get it, I fucked up and you had every right to act the way you did,” Rey hung her head forward and her nails picked at a loose thread on her pants, “This wasn’t exactly something little.”

“That’s no excuse, I should have been there…,” Finn stood up and made his way towards her before reaching out his hand. He pulled Rey into an engulfing hug and pressed a kiss into her hair. “I’m so sorry Rey. Poe explained everything to me and I wasn’t here for you when you needed me because I was so wrapped up in my hate for the First Order.”

“I get it Finn, you don’t need to apologise anymore okay.” Finn pulled away from her and held the sides of her arms.

“I’ll never let you down again Rey.” His face which Rey was so used to holding a bright, dazzling smile was one of a soldier now; serious and determined. It was a look Rey thought did not suit him at all. She preferred him as Finn. The over enthusiastic, loud mouth boy who was stumbling through life spectacularly outside of the First Order. The man she was looking at now was a mixture of past First Order habits and Resistance training. His time away had taken its toll, just as it had on everyone else.

“Like wise,” Rey pulled out of his grip and punched him lightly on the shoulder, “Can we go back to normal now?”

“Normal? When have we ever been normal Rey?” Finn chuckled, his soldier like demeanour melting away seamlessly. “Poe told me you’ve been training again.”

“Yeah. Luke convinced me and I’m glad he did, I’m starting to feel like my old self,” Finn knitted his brows.

“Is it…,” Finn looked away and stepped back, unsure if he should ask what was on the tip of his tongue, “Is he really bonded with you…like…in here?” He pointed to his head and Rey laughed at the gesture. It must be so odd for him to think that the enemy lay in Rey’s mind like a snake waiting to attack.

“I’m getting the hang of blocking him out. The more I’m around people that keep me positive the stronger my barriers become.” Finn smiled widely and picked her up, swinging her around before placing her on the ground and ruffling her hair in a brother-like manor.

“Guess I should stick around then; help you drive that asshole out for good.” Rey pushed aside the niggling in her chest that was Kylo’s disapproval but just like Finn stated, their renewal of friendship left the stab as a mere needle prick to Rey.

“Sounds good to me. Want to get some lunch and catch up properly?” Rey suggested, her hand over her stomach as it rumbled slightly.

“I have a few things to do first but I’ll meet you in the dining hall?” Rey’s heart sunk slightly at the rejection and she tried to remind herself that it wasn’t anything personal.

It had been hard for Rey to differentiate the truth from her doubts. She wouldn’t tell anyone but she was struggling. An offhanded comment could make her feel easily unwanted and her thoughts would run in wild tangents of trying to work out why she was being pushed aside. Rey knew it was stupid, she knew they all had their own priorities but the gnawing of Kylo’s whisper’s had taken its toll. Still, she would grin and bear it while acknowledging it was just the dark side users influence rather than actual truth.

“Yeah…I’ll be there.” If Finn noticed her shift in attitude he didn’t say anything and Rey watched him leave without another word.

She wasn’t sure if she would actually join them for lunch. Most of the Resistance fighters were still wary of her and being thrown into a busy mess hall where all eyes would be on her wasn’t something she could handle very well. Instead Rey lay down on her bed and looked up to the ceiling. She began counting the dark spots in the concrete to focus her mind on anything else than how she was feeling.

 _“Poor little scavenger…,”_ Kylo forced his way into her mind, breaking her concentration, _“Surrounded by so many yet so very alone.”_

“Stop messing with me.” Rey replied, clenching her teeth as she sat up.

 _“Why don’t you tell them the truth Rey?”_ he taunted, his voice deep with a slight chuckle to it, _“They think you have control over this but it’s nothing but a lie…”_

“I’m not lying to them,” Rey snapped back, “I have it under control.”

 _“Is that so?”_ His laughed boomed through her mind as she broke out into a sweat, her hand over heart and nails clasped in the fabric of her top. She felt the tendril he had managed to slip through her shield branch out and attach itself to the closet parts of her signature like a parasite. Rey gasp but refused to yell out, not wanting to give him the satisfaction. _“How much more can you take before you truly crack?”_

“I won’t let you break me!” Rey ground out.

 _“We shall see Rey…”_ The connection closed off and Rey fell back on the bed, her breathing laboured and unshed tears pooling at the corner of her eyes.

Guilt flooded her. He was right. She was lying to everyone, pretending that she was okay when in reality she felt the call to his darkness growing and Rey was terrified. How could she tell those she held dear and risk losing them? Finn had already turned his back on her once, Leia had treated her as a criminal already and Luke…How could she tell Luke that another of his students could possibly betray him?  

Rey bit down on her lip to hold back a sob and she hit the mattress below her in frustration. It wasn’t fair. Why was it so easy to pretend that she was getting better while in reality she was getting worse? Why was it becoming such a natural behaviour? She used to be so truthful and now it was like the lie’s slipped out before she could even comprehend what she was saying. She hated it. Rey wanted to scream and yell. She wanted to flip her bed and smash the lamp on the bedside table next to her. She wanted to vent her frustrations but she couldn’t. Because that wasn’t the Rey they were wanting.

………………………….

Kylo’s lips pulled into a smug smirk under his mask as he looked down upon Hoth. It had been far too easy to manipulate Rey into a disastrous cycle within her mind, distracting her attention from the force around her. He pulled himself back from her, wanting to cloak his signature as much as he could before he turned to Hux who was waiting patiently next to him. Kylo could sense how nervous the man was, this mission wasn’t sanctioned by Snoke but he wasn’t going to let this opportunity slip away due to protocols the weasel like man held so dearly.

“What are your orders?” Hux forced out, his tone disapproving yet holding a hint of exhilaration. If they pulled this off, not only would Kylo have Rey but the main driving force of the Resistance; his mother.

“Start the attack, kill all those deemed unimportant but leave Rey, the pilot, traitor and general alive.” Hux clicked his boot’s together before making his way to his station. The general yelled orders to those around him, rallying those needed and giving specific orders. Kylo had to give Hux credit when it was due. The man did know how to run a tight ship.

Kylo spun around, leaving the control room of the finalizer and made his way down towards the docking bay where his shuttle was waiting. He was pleased to see a unit already standing at attention, waiting for him to board. To the right, leaning against the side of the ship was also a man he knew well. All dressed in black, a mask firmly in place and staff in his hand stood Opress Ren, one of his Knights. Kylo had learnt from previous experiences a few storm troopers may not be enough. He needed someone he could rely on.

“Opress Ren,” Kylo addressed him coldly. The man stood properly, bowing his head.

“Master, what do you wish of me?” Kylo motioned for the man to follow him into the shuttle.

“I want you to find the scavenger. Bring her to me unharmed and if anyone gets in your way, Resistance or First Order cut them down.” Opress Ren titled his head to the side and said nothing. The only confirmation that he would follow the task was a nod of his head to show he understood.

……………………….

Rey clambered down the hall way, her lightsaber staff in hand and prepared. Rubble fell all around her, chunks of concrete falling and exposing live, sparking wires. She was careful to avoid them, using the force to push them aside with one hand while the other covered her face to protect it from the smoke that was filling the hallway quickly. Her eyes burned and watered while she squinted in the smog, calling out to any that may need help. Below her she could see fallen comrades, their bodies unmoving and eyes glazed from death. There was nothing she could do for them.

The wing she had been in was one of the first hit. The roof had collapsed and it had only been due to her capabilities that she had managed to protect herself by pushing falling debris away and then climbing to safety from the fires created. The attack had been so sudden and Rey struggled to figure out how she had missed it. His signature had been there; it was faint but still apparent. How had she missed it when she could feel it so strongly now as if the Knight of Ren was standing right next to her.

“Rey!” she could hear Finn calling her name at the undamaged end of the hall. “Rey! Answer me Rey!”

“F-Finn!” She coughed out, “Finn! I’m here! I’m okay!”

“Rey! We have to get out of here! Chewy is getting the falcon ready, Anaku’s already on board and Luke’s trying to hold them off!” She saw Finn waving his arm at her, attempting to give her a sense of direction.

“What about Leia?” Rey yelled back, climbing over a block of concrete.

“She’s fine. Poe got her out as soon as it started.” Rey finally made it to her friend and threw herself into his arms, grateful that he was alright. “We need to get going now.”

“What about everyone else? We can’t just abandon them!” Rey clutched her lightsaber tightly, “We have to help them!”

“The evacuation has already started, Leia order to get as many people out as possible…She said to not let you fight.” Finn held her firm against his chest as she sucked in her breath, “You’re not ready to face him Rey, you have to leave.”

“You can’t be serious! I can’t just let innocent people fend for themselves while I can help!” Rey pushed him away, her eyes wide. “You really want me to just leave? To run away like a coward?”

“Rey! Can you hear yourself?” Finn held out his hand, his eyes pleading, “If you get captured…”

“I won’t!” Rey yelled, furious at his lack of faith in her. “I’m the only one able to stand up to him.”

“Rey! If you get captured it’s all over!” Finn yelled back, “You’ll turn Sith!”

“Do you honestly believe that?” Rey hissed as her knuckles whitened around the hilt of her lightsaber, “You seriously think I would turn my back on my friends so easily?”

“No Rey! It’s not like that!” Finn pleaded. Rey dropped her hand and stared at him, taking in the fear in his eyes. “Rey, please, just do as Leia asked.”

………………………………


	7. Chapter 7

Rey couldn’t deny her friend. All he was trying to do was protect her and she had already caused him so much pain; Rey couldn’t hurt him again. She reached out her hand, the other clipping her lightsaber back into her belt as it slipped into his. The touch was warm and comforting and his fingers curled between hers securely. Finn turned his back and began running, pulling her behind him. Rey wanted to laugh, this was exactly how they had first met except this time she had no grievances with being led. She would happily give Finn the role of being in charge if it gave him peace of mind.

All around them Rey could hear people coughing and yelling. Friend’s helping friends, comrades fighting back to back. The scream of Tie-fighters clawed through the roof above and Rey tried to ignore the dread it filled within her. She had always wondered if they were designed to make that sound as an intimidation tactic. Blaster bolts lit the hanger in front of them up in a mix of colours, red, green, blue. If it wasn’t accompanied by the thud of bodies one could almost consider it beautiful.

“We’re almost there Rey,” Finn yelled back to her, his face turned slightly, “We’ll make it.”

“Look forward while you run idiot!” Rey yelled back. Finn nodded and dragged her out into the open. A steak of red flashed by them and the two friends dived behind a shipment of supplies that had yet to be unpacked.

“We have to get outside; the Falcon isn’t far from here,” Finn peaked over the crates, “I’ll go first, when I signal, run for the entrance and I’ll provide cover.”

“No Finn, if we do this we do it together,” Rey tightened her grip on him, “We’ve been separated once, I won’t let it happen again.”

“Are you sure?” Finn looked unsure but she knew he felt the same, “Alright.”

“Are you ready?” Finn took on last look before nodding. They stood up, their heads down as the sprinted across the hanger. Bolts flew past them, barely missing and Rey was thankful at how poor of a shot Stormtroopers seemed to be. Around them Resistance fighters called out, urging them to run faster and providing what support they could. Rey refused to think about their fates, it was obvious they we’re here as a last stand, a distraction to let others flee unharmed.

They burst out of the hanger and onto the bitter, snow covered platform outside. It was just as hectic out here, probably even more so. Finn looked back to her, his hand raised and pointing to the Falcon in the distance where Rey could clearly see the illuminated blade of Luke’s lightsaber. Suddenly Finn was on his back, his head thudding on the concrete.

“Finn!” Rey skidded to the ground, kicking up snow from the soles of her shoes. Finn looked up at her dazed, a large, red stick mark marring his face. “Finn, talk to me!”

“Rey…run, I’ll be fine.” Finn pushed her away and propped himself up on his elbows, his eyes trained on the figure that had knocked him down. Rey followed his gaze. The man had taken a few steps back after the impact as if he was waiting for them to engage him. Rey’s hand moved to her belt but Finn grabbed her it and shook his head. “No, Run.”

“He won’t let me Finn and I won’t leave you behind,” Rey stood up, pulling out her lightsaber and igniting both ends, “Trust in me Finn.”

The man had a larger, ankle length cloak on that hid the top of his head under a hood but Rey could clearly see the mask peeking out. It was like a skull, silver all over except for the nose, eyes and cheekbones that were blacked out. It gave Rey the impression of death, a reaper like construct created to make those who faced it a feeling of impending demise. Through the cloak she could see dark wrappings on the upper torso and black, baggy pants fitted into boots. In one hand he held a staff, the end of it pointed with a sharp metal.

“Who are you?” Rey yelled out. The man did not reply nor did he move. He just stood in place, watching her. “Let us pass!”

The man tilted his head and Rey shifted one foot behind the other in a defensive manor. His hand raised before his fingers curled back and one beckoned her forward. Luke would have scolded her for attacking an opponent so quickly. He had taught her to assess another’s skill through their attack first. Rey lunged, bringing her staff upwards from the ground, melting the snow and causing steam to rise from the motion. The man moved his downwards and to the side, deflecting it while leaving her slightly shocked and open. The spear like staff should have been split into two but instead it came down hard on her side, causing her to stumble and yell out.

Rey hiss and took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. She shouldn’t rush but the longer they stood out in the open the more Finn was in danger. The man beckoned her again and this time Rey held out her staff defensively. He moved quickly, aiming for the side he had already hit but Rey was prepared and deflected his weapon, causing her to spin around with the motion. She kicked her leg out, catching him in the chest. He stepped his foot back to brace himself and she could sense his eyes watching her.

They danced like that for a while. Slow and predatory rather than the quick pace she was used to. The man’s moves were precise and high impact, aiming to cause damage in larger, thought out moves that created openings rather than chance. Rey was surprised. She couldn’t figure out if he was a force user or just extremely good at reading her movements. It was if he saw what she would do then led her into a position that landed him a hit. Rey had no choice, so far she had avoided using the force out of fear the adrenalin it caused but if they did this much longer, neither her or Finn would make it off Hoth.

Rey raised her hand and closed her eyes, she drew the force in around her and focused it towards the man. It didn’t feel right but she had no other way. Her usual, calm energy that flowed so gently now seemed to leave an unpleasant stinging down her arm. It was turbulent, uncontrolled and when she finally pushed it she was panting as if she had tried to move a wall with it rather than a person. The man braced for the impact and he skidded back a few feet, his head down and knees bent. Rey lunged forward again, putting her anger at how little her force push did into the attack.

Her moves that were once so careful became a bombardment. She was unrelenting and Rey found that she was enjoying the primal nature of it. Again and again she pushed forward, completely forgetting the reason she was in the battle and focusing purely on the joy she got from it. The man seemed unable to keep up with her change of movement and now was completely on the defensive; an attempt at trying his best to stand on his feet. Rey hadn’t even noticed that they had gotten further away from her destination until she knocked him on his back and her lightsaber was inches from his throat.

“Do it Rey,” A soft, coaxing voice came from in front of them followed by footsteps crunching in the snow, “Take his life.”

Rey didn’t look up. She couldn’t. All she could see was the masked man on the ground in front of her, his head to the side as he craned his neck away from the plasma-like substance that was singing his top. Rey couldn’t think straight. She knew this was wrong, that she should step back and run in the opposite direction but she felt frozen in place while creeping her lightsaber further into the material with shaking hands. Rey _wanted_ to kill him and not because he had hurt Finn but because it felt e _xciting_.

A gloved hand was placed on top of hers and a warm body was pressed against her back. Rey could tell he didn’t have his mask on as his breath tickled the hair on her neck and the warmth of his lips on her cheek burned.

“What are you waiting for?” he whispered into her ear, “I know you want to do it, I can feel your bloodlust.” Her focus was slightly shifted when he trailed gentle kisses down her neck. “Do it now.”

Rey shook as she turned off her lightsaber before spinning around and facing the smug, brown eyes of Kylo Ren. Anger flooded her. This was his fault. Rey put her hand on his chest and she used all of her strength to push him backwards and away from her. Her lips were parted as her breaths came out harshly, a mixture of her lungs compensating for the cold and the adrenalin consuming her. Kylo Ren look back at her before letting out a loud booming laugh.

“Run little scavenger…,” he teased. Rey didn’t need to be told twice. She sprinted as fast as she could towards the Falcon, tears streaming down her face. “I will be waiting Rey! I will always be waiting!” he yelled after her.

Rey tumbled into the Falcon and Finn caught her, his arm’s wrapping around her as he quickly pulled her inside as the ramp lifted up. Inside Luke and Chewy were in the pilot seats and Anaku was sitting on the torn old booth. No one looked at them as they were too focused on getting off of Hoth in one piece. Luke flicked a number of switches, instructing Chewy that they we’re jumping to hyperspace.

Finn led Rey over to where Anaku was and she sunk into the seat, staring up at the metal above her in shock. Rey could still fell his hand on hers and tingling on her neck. She could still hear his soft, deceiving voice in her ears, coaxing her to kill. Rey couldn’t believe it. She had enjoyed the idea of taking a life purely for the sake of pleasure and she had wanted to do it to please Kylo as well. A part of her in that moment had yearned to do it just to get his approval. It made her ill that some sick part of her wanted to please him and that she could still feel the urge to do so. Her eyes flicked to Anaku who gave her a small smile and she could feel the niggling bloodlust directed at him.

“Rey…,” Luke was in front of her, his face creased with concern, “Look at me.” Rey turned her attention to her master. Luke pursed his lips together and she saw his face drop. He was blaming himself. He could sense what she was feeling inside and Luke was seeing it as his failure. Rey reached out for him and he extended his hand, placing it on top of hers, “We will get you through this Rey, we will get you help.”

………………………………..

Kylo knew he should be furious that the mission was a failure. Those who were important had escaped and they had come back empty handed on an unsanctioned raid. Hux was up in arms, scolding and berating him but Kylo really didn’t care. To him he had gotten what he had dreamed of and more. So what if Hux would pin it all on him when speaking with Snoke; leading to him being punished severely. It had all been worth it for that one moment.

Kylo had fully intended to bring Rey back with him. He had been dreaming of the day he could bring the little, desert-scavenger back into his bed. He had expected a fight but instead found a truth that was too exciting that he had to see how it would play out. Rey, leaning over a fallen Knight and wanting to kill him. The opportunity was just to perfect and he just had to try push her over the edge, he had to see if she was willing to do it.

Luke’s padawan. The perfect little Jedi Luke had been hoping for had wanted to kill someone and she had wanted to do it because he said so. He was overjoyed at the progress she had made and in that moment Kylo knew he had to let Rey go crawling back to the run down falcon. Kylo had realised in that moment that he wanted the girl to come to him willingly, just as she had that night. For the first time in years, Kylo wanted to be patient. He wanted to watch Rey fall from a distance on her own accord and he would be waiting on the other side, a place for her next to him already waiting.

“Are you listening to a word I am saying!” Hux yelled. His cap was thrown to the floor and his hair that seemed to be stuck with glue had become dishevelled, “You let her go! You let them all go! We had them in our sights!”

“Snoke want’s them alive, not in pieces,” Kylo replied back, his voice deformed by the mask he now wore again. It wasn’t exactly a lie. Snoke wanted Rey alive, as well as his mother.

“Skywalker was right there!” Hux growled out, “You had plenty of time to take him out!”

Kylo hummed a response. Hux was right. While Opress was dealing with Rey there had been a window to take down his uncle but Kylo found that he couldn’t take it. Rey’s pesky light had made him hesitate and the window had closed too quickly for him to take advantage of it. He curled his fist at the knowledge. Seeing his uncle had brought up the guilt of murdering his father and he couldn’t build up the courage to do the same to his uncle. It wouldn’t have happened if it wasn’t for Rey. Before the bond he had no trouble numbing himself to his family ties but now her light tugged at them. It wasn’t painful but it was enough to make him think before he acted, a hesitation which caused them a massive failure.

“I will not take responsibility for this Ren!” Hux stormed out, leaving Kylo to look out on the battlefield below.

Those left behind had been lined up on their knees with their hands behind their heads. Stormtroopers walked up and down the lines, judging which of them would be valuable for information. Kylo narrowed his eyes. It was typical of his mother. Save those valuable and leave the rest behind. He had seen her do it time and time again, even with him. Kylo would not make the same mistakes. He had trained his Knights to take their own lives rather than be capture for he saw it as more of a mercy than be put to interrogation. His mother couldn’t care less. She had happily left those below behind, knowing full well the torture they would be submitted to and Kylo could guarantee she wouldn’t even give them a second thought. Like the general she was, Leia was probably already looking for those who could replace them. It was all just collateral damage to her as much as she’d argue she cared.

At least his father never pretended to be something he wasn’t. Yes, his mother shackled him down with a marriage and kid but Han Solo knew he couldn’t sit still for long. His resentment for his father was really stemmed from the fact he left him behind to be looked after by a mother too busy to care and then shoved off to his uncle’s academy without even a goodbye. It was the reason he struggled with the decision to kill his father. He could not hate him for being exactly who he was, a scoundrel of the universe and nothing more. His mother though. Kylo would have no qualms when it came to his mother’s time.  

……………………………….

Rey didn’t know where they were. No one would tell her a thing and she had a feeling it was per Luke’s request. He wouldn’t give her any information that was deemed important and Rey knew exactly why that was. He didn’t trust her, not right now anyway and Rey couldn’t blame him for that. She was a lot worse off than she had realised. The confrontation on Hoth had proven that. It didn’t help that since seeing Kylo again she couldn’t stop thinking about reaching out to him through their connection, purely just to hear his voice again. A need had been growing in her, one she wasn’t entirely sure she was opposed to. It was wrong and she felt dirty but it was there and it wasn’t going away any time soon.

The doors to the Falcon opened and Rey turned her attention away from the game of Dejarik that she was playing with Chewy. Poe rushed in, Finn close behind him and Rey smiled widely. If there was anyone she could talk to about this all it would be Poe. The pilot rushed forward and pulled her out of the booth, crushing her to him.

“I’m so relieved,” Poe mumbled into her hair, “I was so worried about you…about all of you.”

“I’m okay…,” Rey mumbled back as she scrunched her nose up against his flight suit due to it being squashed, “Finn was there to save me.”

“More like you saved him,” Poe chuckled, “Thank you for bringing him back to me Rey.”

“Wait…,” Rey looked up, her eyes wide, “You…and Finn? You’re shitting me.”

“Uh…I was going to tell you…,” Finn scratched the back of his head and averted his gaze.

“Are you kidding me! You two finally get together and neither of you thought to tell me…one of your best friends?” Rey pretended to sulk and sat back down in her seat, “I can’t believe you two…”

“We were going to tell you, we swear,” Poe laughed, holding up his hands, “At lunch actually but you never showed and then…”

“It’s okay,” Rey reassured quickly, “I’m really, really happy for you guys.”

“You…you are?” Finn asked nervously, “I know it must come as a shock.”

“Shock? Seriously Finn,” Rey sighed, “Everyone knew Poe was chasing you except for you! The only shock about it is how long it took! Thanks to you I lost the bet.”

“Bet? There was a bet!” Poe grumbled unimpressed, “If I knew there was a bet I would have gotten in on that action.”

“You would have placed a bet…on your own relationship…,” Finn quirked his eyebrow, “What the hell Poe.”

“Hey, I would have won since I would have known exactly when it would happen. Plus, I would have had some spare cash to take you out!” Poe winked, nudging Finn in the side who blushed. Rey smirked; Finn never blushed, not even when he thought he like her when they first met.

“You could have at least given me a heads up, I could have done with a new tunic,” Rey joined in, “Or those meat pastry things the canteen sold.”

“Who’s winning anyway? Last time I tried to play this game Chewy kicked my ass,” Poe shuffled in next to her and looked over the board, “Damn Rey, you would make a terrible tactician.”

“Hey! I’m not doing too bad…,” Finn leant over the table and chuckled, pointing to a specific character.

“Nice Chewy, one more move and that thing would have decimated her.” Chewy let out a noise of agreement before doing just that and Rey looked down at the table dumbfounded as her characters got smashed by a giant club one by one. “Poe’s right, you really do suck at this.”

“What is this? You two get together and it becomes pick on Rey day?” Chewy turned off the hologram game and stood up, giving them a bit more privacy to catch up. “How is it going out there?”

“It’s just a stopover. Figure out our next move and all that…,” Poe stated, “We’re splitting up after this I think.”

“Are you two coming with us?” Rey asked, the hope in her voice sounding desperate. She didn’t know if she could survive mentally just being alone with Luke and Anaku with them keeping an isolated distance.

“No…Finn and I will go with the General,” Poe looked annoyed at the separation, “You will be going with Luke and Anaku, no non-jedi allowed apparently.”

“We’ll see each other again soon I hope,” Rey tried to reassure them, “Best to get myself sorted, make sure I don’t go dark side.” It was a joke, one that no one laughed at.

“Rey…,” Poe eyed up Finn who nodded at him, “What happened out there?”

“Nothing,” Rey shrugged, “Finn and I were attacked, I fought then we escaped.”

“Rey, I saw you,” Finn snapped, “I saw you with him…”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean!” Rey glared and immediately went on the defensive, “Please, do explain to me what it is that you saw exactly!”

“He had his hands on you! He…he let you go Rey!” Finn stared down at her, his eyes accusing, “He had you Rey, he had you and he let you go!”

“And? Go on Finn, spit it out!” Rey was becoming agitated as his tone was becoming increasingly accusing, “You think I’m a traitor? Is that it?”

“Well are you?” Finn slammed his hand down on the table, “I don’t see any other reason he would let you go and you sure as hell didn’t seem to be opposed to him touching you like that!”

“You mean when he was trying to get me to murder someone Finn? Is that what you fucking mean because if you were watching properly you would have seen that I didn’t!” Rey stood up and pointed her finger into his chest, “You don’t know what the hell it was you saw!”

“But you wanted to!” Rey’s mouth dropped open and she began to fluster together a retort, “I saw it Rey, you were going to do it.”

“But she didn’t,” Poe interjected, “Rey could have and she didn’t.”

“That’s not the point!” Finn yelled at Poe, “She could have!”

“BUT SHE DIDN’T!” Poe looked furious and both Rey and Finn shrunk back, “Rey had a choice and she made the right one! That’s all that matters!”

“Poe…,” Finn hung his head, “I’m sorry.”

“What are you doing apologising to me?” Poe questioned angrily, “It’s Rey you should be apologising to.”

“Rey…shit…I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to come at you like that…,” Finn sighed before looking up to her, meeting her eyes with s strong stare, “I’m sorry Rey.”

Rey bit her lip but said nothing. He shouldn’t be apologising to her because he was right. It was only because Kylo Ren had distracted her that she didn’t murder the masked man. She had realised that after a decent sleep. Rey had been completely focused, her mind one tracked on ending the man’s life. It wasn’t until Kylo held her that she was able to take a step back and realise what it was she was doing. It was a weird thought that Kylo Ren’s actions was the turning point for her and the reason she didn’t take that step forward.

“This is ridiculous. We’re friends, we’re supposed to support each other. How the hell are we supposed to defeat the First Order if we can’t keep our friendship together?” Poe let out an exasperated sigh, “Finn, can you leave us? I need to talk to Rey.”

“Yeah…I need to cool down anyway,” Finn gave Rey a look and it wasn’t a friendly one, it was a warning and one that stated he didn’t trust her in the slightest. Finn left and Poe leaned back in his seat, one arm stretched out on the back of the booth. Rey watched him before opening her mouth to speak.

“You want to know the truth,” Rey stated, “You want to know if I was going to do it.”

“I already know the answer and to me it doesn’t matter. What I want to know is are you okay with what you have realised?” Poe’s tone held no judgement, only a sense of understanding and sadness.

“Is it that obvious?” Rey groaned, “I’m pathetic.”

“You’re different, everyone can see that. You’re darker but…you’re still Rey. I can’t see you turning but I can’t see you as light either.” Poe sat up straight and took her hands, “Look Rey, a few years ago I met someone, someone that I think can help you.”

“What? How? Who!” Poe shifted his eyes to the door and he grew nervous.

“Look, right now Luke is seeing you as a danger. He’s scared and he thinks you are going to end up turning. He doesn’t understand that there is a middle ground. Not dark or light but grey. There is a person Rey, a woman who can help you train to fall in between both worlds.” Rey listened closely yet focused on shutting out Kylo Ren in her mind. She could hold him at bay for a few minutes and that was all she needed. “I know where you are going to end up Rey, I’m not stupid. You’ll go to him, it’s just how things like this go but it’s up to you _who_ goes to him.”

“I…I don’t understand Finn. If I go to him doesn’t that mean…doesn’t that mean I’m no longer a Jedi?” Poe nodded and stood up, moving to the pilot’s seat.

“I can’t explain it Rey, I don’t fully understand it myself…,” Poe began flicking switches and the ramp lifted with the door closing behind it. Rey could hear yelling outside and she stared at Poe, not sure what to do. “I can’t tell you where we are going Rey because then he will know so I have no choice but to take you myself.”

“But…what about Finn?” Poe laughed and pointed to the co-pilot seat.

“He’ll get over it. He can’t stay mad at a face as handsome as mine,” Poe winked at her and Rey found herself laughing along with him. “I’m sorry Rey. This will make you a fugitive on both sides but if we don’t do this they were going to lock you up until they figured out a way to reverse you condition but we both know that isn’t possible. The only hope you have is her.”

…………………………………


	8. Dreams

Snoke had not been kind. He had torn through Kylo’s mind as if he was a tsunami and destroying anything and everything he hit. He pulled memory after memory from both Kylo and Hux, piecing together the entire picture as painfully as he could. The hologram of their leader towered over them, his flickering hand leaning on his throne like chair as he held himself up. The angle he was on with his back hunched could be seen as weak to others but for the two men on the cold ground it was terrifying. His thin lip pulled into a sneer and his eyes narrowed.

“You dare to move without my knowledge?” he started, his voice a low whisper, “Without my approval?”

“Supreme leader,” Hux looked up from his place on the ground, his face pale and streaked with sweat, “It was not my-.”

“SILENCE!” Snoke boomed, “Do not try weasel your way out of this General Hux, you are just as guilty as Kylo Ren is.”

“Yes Supreme Leader,” Hux muttered, his eyes lowering to the floor. Snoke lowered himself back down and looked between them.

“This girl, she is clouding your mind Kylo Ren,” Snoke focused on him. Kylo stayed where he was, his head bowed, one knee resting shakily on the ground and his gloved hands clasped tight. He had fared better than Hux and he knew if he spoke out of turn that wouldn’t last for long, “But your progress is evident. While I am unimpressed that you let the scavenger go I realise your influence has her on our doorstep.”

“I believe she will come to us in her own time,” he looked up through his sweat clumped hair.

“But, I cannot over look your hesitation to engage the Jedi,” Kylo clenched his teeth as his mind was invaded again and was overcome with a searing feeling, “Is your attachment to the girl making you weak.”

“No Supreme Leader,” He forced out, “The window was too small, it was not the opportune moment.”

“Supreme Leader, if I may,” Kylo let out a small sigh as the hold Snoke had was released and his attention turned to the General, “The Resistance lost a large number of bodies, although not successful the attack has weakened them considerably and will buy us time to advance our plans on Coruscant without General Organa’s influence.”

“Do go on,” Snoke leaned backwards as he narrowed his eyes, his hand uncurled and he waved for Hux to continue, “We can apply certain…pressures to those still supporting the Resistance, their families who have been promised protection will now be vulnerable.”

“I have to agree with Hux,” Kylo pushed himself to a stand, “If we cut off their remaining income it will make it harder for the Resistance to set up another base, we can limit their resources and essentially force them out into the open, they will be desperate.”

“Good, use the children, integrate them into our ranks,” Snoke moved his hand under his chin, “Suggest that their offspring would be better protected under our regime.”

“As you wish Supreme Leader,” Hux stood up and their leader dismissed him. The ginger haired man scuttled out and Kylo chuckled. He even moved like a rat in his mind, his tail between his legs as he ran towards the nearest exit to lick his wounds.

“What do you plan on doing with the girl?” Snoke questioned.

“I will continue to use the bond against her,” Kylo stood strong, he wanted Snoke to believe that he was capable of this task, “She is on the path and I will continue to guide her in our direction.”

“She influences you Kylo Ren, maybe this task would be best given to someone removed from the situation,” He tensed but didn’t reply, Snoke was testing him, trying to gauge his reaction, “Should I give this task to Hux?”

“Have faith in me Supreme Leader, I will not fail you,” Kylo kept his voice calm even though inside he was a mixture of rage and disgust at the idea of Hux even coming close to Rey. She was his and he’d kill the General before he could lay a pale finger on her, “I felt her bloodlust, her desire to please me fed it.”

“Do not fail me again, Ren or I will entrust Hux with you precious scavenger,” The hologram disappeared and Kylo let out a loud scream. It infuriated him how Snoke could even contemplate that Hux could possibly have the same influence on Rey as he did, that the smarmy rat could seduce a woman such as Rey. If it hadn’t of been for Hux in the first place Rey would have never even made it out of his chambers.

He swept out of the room, slamming his mask back onto his head. Stormtroopers down the hall saw him coming and turned on their heels, everyone knew to stay out of his way especially once the news had travelled about the failed attack on Hoth. Hux was waiting at the end on the hall, a hand running through his hair to put it back into place. Kylo brushed past him, his boots clicking heavily on the metal below. Hux joined him, his pace matching Kylo’s even though his stride was twice as long.

“What do you want Hux?” Kylo breathed out. The last thing he needed was this man irritating him further. One wrong word and Kylo would snap.

“It is about the Jedi, the girl,” Kylo stopped abruptly and he turned on the shorter man. His anger from before radiating out and Hux shrunk slightly, “I have word on the Millennium Falcon.”

“It is not of your concern,” Kylo’s heart jumped at the mention of Han Solo’s old ship.

“I thought you would like an update on her whereabouts,” Kylo tilted his head and took a step forward, his hand out reached as he grabbed the General but the scruff of his uniform. Hux blinked, slightly shocked at the action.

“I do not recall me asking you to keep tabs on her, “Kylo pushed him back against the wall, “I do not need your help Hux and from now on the girl is not your concern.”

“We are in this together Ren,” Hux pressed on, “We cannot make another mistake like Hoth again.”

“Listen and listen well Hux,” Kylo pulled Hux forward before slamming him back again causing the generals head to bounce harshly on the wall, “You will not think about her, you will not talk about her and you will _not_ keep tabs on her movements. From this point onwards your only concern is the Coruscant brats.”

“But-,” Kylo repeated the action, shutting the man up quickly.

“Do you understand me, _General_ ,” Kylo let go of him and took a step back as he waited for Hux’s reply. The man brushed himself off before pursing his lips with a narrowed gaze.

“Understood,” Kylo nodded and turned away, leaving the rat to himself and travelling back to his original destination.

………………………………………..

Rey knew she was dreaming, even if the sand between her toes felt real and the sun on her skin was uncomfortably warm. She sat outside her AT-AT make shift home, her old pilot helmet to her side and doll in hand. Rey traced its orange jumpsuit and each strand of string she had wrapped together. Her thumb flicked across the frayed ending at its feet and she smiled sadly. Growing up this doll had been her dreams and she remarkably had gotten as close to it as possible only to have it ripped away. Rey sighed. This doll, this raggedy doll made of scrap pieces and full of mistakes symbolised everything and now it was just a doll. A representation of lost dreams and a future she no longer recognised. She placed in beside her, resting it against the AT-AT with it facing the sun before she stood up and brushed herself off.

Rey ducked as she entered the hull and took a moment to take in the old machine that was once her home. The panels were rusted from corrosion and at night the metal cooled the small space down to a freezing temperature. She had spent many nights curled into a ball, a poor attempt at keeping her body temperature at a sustainable level even though her teeth chattered and her blistered lips blued. It wasn’t much but it was nostalgic being here, being at home.

Rey pictured herself as a little girl, stumbling upon it for the first time. She had been excited and had used it as a relieve from Unkar who had placed her in a small shack barely big enough to fit her tiny form. Eventually she had accumulated enough material from the ship graveyard she scavenged in to make it a home and she had ventured out, determined to stand on her own feet. So living off portion bread hadn’t been the greatest but it was hers, earned the hard way.

“So this is it?” a voice asked behind her. Rey jumped and spun around. Kylo stood behind her, his hand resting on the outside of the door as he peered in. Rey immediately got her defences up, even though it was a dream she knew he wasn’t a part of it, “Its…charming.”

“What are you doing here?” she snapped. Kylo ignored her and stepped in, ducking his above six-foot frame. Rey stepped back and she immediately noticed he took up most of the space.

“I expected worse,” He mused, “You forgot this outside.”

In his hand was her doll; her old hopes and dreams. Rey let out a soft laugh at the irony. The man who had taken everything from her was now holding the very symbol she had pinned it all on. She watched as Kylo lifted it, pulling the frayed foot gently before throwing it to her. Rey caught it before placing it carefully on its spot on the shelf beside her.

“You always were a sympathiser I see,” He took a step towards her and she flinched when he reached past her to the shelf, picking up bits and pieces to examine then placing them back, “All this junk yet so valuable to you, was it hard to leave it all behind? To leave the little girl who dreamed of being taken away by her family?”

“What would you know about family?” Rey spat, “You turned your back on them while there are others out there who kill for what you had.”

“My family was a disappointment, a scoundrel and a princess turned general too busy for her own son,” Kylo laughed, “I chose my path, one I won’t regret.”

“You killed him, you killed your own father and you don’t regret it?” Rey watched him out of curiosity and looking for any sign of remorse.

“He was barely a father and I did what I had to do,” Kylo’s reply was cold but there was something more behind it, something Rey couldn’t quite place, “How long?”

“How long what?” Kylo pointed to her bed where she had scratched the days onto the wall.

“How long had you been alone? Abandoned?” Rey flinched. She hated that word, it left a painful emptiness in her that at times felt like it would swallow her whole, “I feel it Rey, I feel your pain, your loneliness.”

“You don’t know anything,” Rey went to push him but he grabbed her wrists, holding them against his chest.

“I know everything Rey, I know that you used to cry at night, begging for a mother you don’t even remember, I know that you went to Luke, hoping that he could give you answers and I know,” Kylo pulled her closer to him and she looked up with wide eyes, “I know that all you want is someone to fill the empty space that sits in your chest which makes you feel like you can barely breath anytime someone you love walks away or turns their back on you.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Rey whispered, ignoring the way her gut twisted and how her heart clenched.

“You know exactly what I’m talking about,” he lowered his head, “I feel it to Rey, that endless emptiness that no matter how hard you try to ignore it just gets bigger and bigger until…”

“Until what? Until I turn out like you?” she went to pull away but he held on firm, his lips ghosting against her cheek, taunting and enticing her.

“Worse Rey, so much worse,” he placed a light kiss on her cheek and Rey sucked in her breath between her teeth, “It will eat away at every part of you until there is nothing but that black emptiness, no emotion left, just a numb, cold shell drifting through life with no purpose.”

“I would rather be a shell than be the definition of pure evil,” he chuckled against her cheek as he let one of her hands go. His finger trailed her jaw line before it curled around her chin and he tilted her head to the side, just enough for her lips to meet his.

Rey paused not sure what to do. Her mind was reeling. She knew this was wrong, that she shouldn’t enjoy the small peck nor should she want him to take it further. But his words had hit their mark. Rey was yearning for him to take the hole inside of her and fill it with something other than the pain.

“Take it Rey, take back your power,” he mumbled against her lips. Rey let out a shaky breath before pressing her lips against his hesitantly. Kylo didn’t force it, he let her ease into it. Rey moved her lips gently, testing the waters before she dived in head first. Her breathing was laboured slightly and she pulled back, looking up at him with pleading eyes.

Kylo didn’t need to be told twice. He crashed his lips down onto hers hungrily, taking advantage of her vulnerability. Rey didn’t mind though; this wasn’t about him it was about her. She needed to feel that someone cared, that this growing emptiness could be filled by something, even lust.

…………………………………

He hadn’t meant to push his way into the scavengers dream. She had just been on his mind when he collapsed into bed, exhausted and wishing for some sort of comfort. It surprised him that when his eyes closed he had ended up outside of an old AT-AT which was half covered in sand and looking rather pathetic. It almost saddened him to see a relic of his grandfather’s day in such desolation but it was overcome by curiosity when he noticed a flash of bright orange clashing against its rusted, open hatch.

Kylo picked it up, observing it with a scrutiny. It was homemade and crudely done with a long middle held together with coarse, brown thread. He flipped it over before perking his head up after hearing a noise coming from within. He held onto the doll, wanting to know who it belonged to and when he saw her wary brown eyes staring up at him Kylo looked back down at it. Now it all made sense. Rey, his little scavenger who had been abandoned on Jakku had admired those who brought down his grandfather and that admiration had led her to his mother and uncle.

When he threw the doll to her he noticed the relief that flittered across her face briefly and watched how delicately she placed the ratty thing on a make shift shelf. There was very little in the small space but he observed it all, not oblivious to how different their upbringings had been. The space reeked of loneliness yet independence and he tried to picture her as a child, coming home every sunset to eat portion bread and what little rations of water she had. It was in that moment that Kylo realised how much he wanted to show her that she didn’t have to accept such poverty, that he could give her anything she desired and not worry about an aching stomach.

He had reached out to her again, this time out of a desire to comfort her. Rey was hesitant at first but the more he spoke the more she began to realise he understood her pain. He may not have been physically abandoned but he had been emotionally way before his mother shipped him off for Jedi training. He felt his body hum with her acceptance, their bond becoming stronger with her fragile trust of him. He didn’t dwell on it though; this wasn’t the time to bask in his accomplishment.

Her lips felt soft on his and Kylo wished that this was more than just a dream, he wanted to really feel them upon his again but for now he would settle for this. Rey poured her pain into him and he took it, accepting it as his own as she clung to him desperately for support. Then she pulled back, looking up at him with those deep brown orbs and he watched as they wavered from one emotion to the next. She was still unsure, still wary and he didn’t blame her. To her they were still enemies and just because she was starting to realise her fate didn’t mean she would hand herself over to him on a platter again. She was a challenge, one he enjoyed immensely.

“I can’t do this,” She whispered, her bottom lip trembling, “I’m betraying my friends, I’m betraying myself. This is wrong.”

“Is it?” he questioned, “It wasn’t long ago that you were just a girl, living in a relic all alone. It is only natural you are clinging to the first bonds you created.”

“It’s more than that!” Rey growled out, “I’d die for them!”

“Would you die for the Resistance? For a war you know so little of after being sheltered for so long from it?” Kylo took a step back, their intimate moment was gone and he wasn’t going to risk losing whatever understand they had by crowding her, “I’ve always wondered what would have happened if it was the First Order that stumbled across you first.”

“You saw the doll, I have always been on the side of freedom,” Rey folded her arms across her chest and her face flushed, “The First Order just wants to create a Tyranny.”

“Tyranny? Is that what they are calling it?” Kylo chuckled, “I call it order and order will create peace.”

“Freedom creates peace,” Rey shot back quickly, “Do you really think everyone will be happy being pushed around without any say in the matter?”

“Freedom? Is that what you think this is?” Kylo motioned to her old home, “You lived in an AT-AT, practically a slave to the trader as you scavenged to pay for food…food that left you ill from malnourishment.”

“If the First Order didn’t exist maybe I wouldn’t have been left here!” Rey straightened herself up, “If there wasn’t war then…then maybe…”

“You blame the First Order for your abandonment?” Kylo sat down on her bed, a chuckle forming on his lips before it turned into a full bore laugh, “The First Order isn’t responsible, the Jedi are!”

“No…it was…,” Rey looked down at her feet, “The Jedi are good.”

“Do you know how my Uncle founded his school? Do you know the stories of the Jedi council?” Kylo spit his words out as if they were venom, “Do you even know their practices?”

“I…,” Rey shut her mouth quickly and Kylo pushed himself up off the bed and towards her, towering over her small form as he forced her back against the wall.

“Let me tell you about the Jedi and then…then you can see there is no good side, that this war is played by those of differing views and nothing more,” Rey nodded and she let out a small, shaky breath, “The Jedi are children stealers Rey, they took children who were force sensitive from their homes and shoved them into an academy, alone and afraid. They had a weapon shoved into their hands and they were taught that emotion was a weakness, that they weren’t allowed to feel…they were raised to be numb Rey, forced to be neutral and cold, distanced from everyone and everything.”

“But…,” Rey whispered, “But the First Order…they take children too…Finn said,” Kylo steeled his eyes and she blinked.

“True, we are guilty of exactly the same but shouldn’t that make you see, both sides are the same Rey,” He pressed his forehead against hers before continuing, “My Uncle used the old methods, I watched him bring child after child to his academy and put them into training, perfect little force using soldiers and then my own mother threw me in with them and my father…my father took off without even fighting for me, knowing full well they were wanting me to become an emotionless robot.”

“They were just trying to do what they thought was best…,” Rey placed a hand on his chest and he looked down at it, “They loved you, they still do.”

“That has no importance to me, I learned where true power lies and I saw through the perfect lie they were trying to feed me,” He stood up and took a step back, “Can’t you see it Rey? That Jedi are bound by fear? Taught that ambition is bad, that wanting something more is evil. What is so wrong with wanting power? Without it this universe would be in shambles, it needs someone strong, someone powerful to keep it in order.”

“Kylo, I…I can’t see it, I can’t see the future you are seeing,” Rey rubbed her arm nervously, “Everyone, even a scavenger from Jakku should be able to dictate their lives through their own voice.”

“What use is a voice when you don’t know how to use it!” Kylo snapped, “You, who has seen so little of the universe! What makes you think that you know how it all works?”

“I…I don’t,” Kylo shook his head, disappointed in his little scavenger, “I don’t know much, as you said I’ve been sheltered in a way, but I know how I feel and the idea of one man controlling everything just seems…wrong.”

“You need time,” Kylo realised that this conversation was going nowhere. Rey needed more time to see the universe for what it really was; a cluster fuck of crime and selfishness, “I’ll be waiting for you Rey.”

“You’ll be waiting a long time then,” she retorted. Kylo eyed her before he reached out for her again. The small girl squeaked as he yanked her into him and his mouth clashed with hers violently. Not one to back down Rey replied, kissing him back just a fiercely as if she was trying to prove a point to him.

 


	9. Arrival

Rey wasn’t sure where they had ended up. All she knew was that at some point along the way, Poe had left the Falcon with a contact after exiting hyperspace, then borrowed a clean and small transport ship and ushered her onto it quickly. Even if Rey tried to figure out where she was it was impossible. Her knowledge of the space was very limited and she only really knew a few systems by heart. She looked over to Poe who was busy fiddling with switches before turning to her. He looked slightly worried, his forehead crinkled and lips pursed. Rey swallowed and her parched throat scratched uncomfortably.

“Is something wrong?” she asked, “We can turn back if you want.”

“No,” Poe shook his head, “We’re doing the right thing, I’ve just picked up a discrepancy on the radar.”

“What kind of discrepancy?” Rey peered over to where he was looking, “What’s that doing out here?”

“I’m not sure but it shouldn’t pay any attention to us,” If Poe was nervous he didn’t show it apart from the slight tightening of his lips before. Rey eyed the console warily, “The First Order have never been out this far before.”

“Are we really that far out?” Poe nodded and pulled to the right a bit, attempting to give them a wider birth around the First Order Transport freighter that grew increasingly in size as the approached their destination.

“Far enough,” Poe murmured, “I should have realised that this planet would have some interest in it, it was only a matter of time.”

“Look Poe-,” he raised his hand, cutting her off.

“If there was anyone else that could help you I would turn around and take you there, but there isn’t. This is our only choice and one First Order freighter isn’t going to change that. This planet is a trade resource for numerous materials such as metals and agriculture, it shouldn’t have been a surprise that they would show up. Let’s just keep our heads down and not draw attention to ourselves,” Poe patted her on the back and he smiled widely, “Besides, we’re just harmless traders looking for a new supply route right?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Rey rolled her eyes. Poe had thought of everything on a whim and had her reciting their cover story over and over again until she had it mentally seared into her head and have the lie could roll off her tongue easily.

“Do you sense anything?” Rey shook her head, “Have you tried?”

“No…I haven’t wanted to risk it,” goose bumps flared up on her arms and she shuddered, “I’m sorry.”

“No, no, I get it,” Poe eased into the planet’s atmosphere and Rey pressed her face against the glass. Below was a small city, similar to a shanty town but more commercial and built up. A less lively version of the lower decks of Coruscant with a hint of Jakku, “This planet vastly used to be covered in numerous terrains, when the Empire ruled they diminished due to mining. The lands scarred now but the settlements here have been building it back up.”

“That’s awful,” Rey murmured, her eyes peeling to the side where the crest of a mine was apparent in the distance, “I bet it was beautiful in its time.”

“If the stories are correct, it was in some areas,” Poe set up to land and Rey began to help him, flicking needed switches such as the release of their landing gear, “Stick close to me alright, there’s always been a gang problem here and without the republic to keep them in line, plus the First Order sniffing around you’re best to let me take the lead.”

“Cloaks?” Rey asked, picking up her beige, hooded one from behind her. Poe eyed it before shaking his head.

“No, that thing screams Jedi and since you and Luke are the only ones left, people will be looking at you like you’re a dollar sign,” Poe clipped his blaster to his belt and held out his hand, “Pass me your lightsaber, I’ll put it in my pocket and out of eyesight until we get there.”

Rey’s hand automatically went to the cool, metal object and clasped onto it hesitantly. Master Luke had told her time and time again that she was to never let it leave her side, that the double sided weapon was an extension of herself and her most valuable asset. Her hand shook as she unclipped it and Poe waited patiently; there was no reason to rush her. Rey gently placed it in his hand and she forced herself to pulled her hand back before she could snatch it back. Poe placed it into his new leather jacket that Finn had given him for his birthday last year and gave the outside of it a soft pat.

“Don’t worry, It’s safe and the second we reach her I’ll give it straight back,” Rey let out a shaky breath and nodded. In the back of her mind she could feel Kylo’s disapproval and it didn’t help her frazzled nerves. Ever since he had stumbled into her dream she had noticed his feelings towards her had become somewhat more protective as well as possessive and she understood his anger at her handing the weapon over; Kylo didn’t like the idea of her being unarmed just as much as she didn’t.

“How far is it?” Rey followed him down the platform and she wriggled her toes in her boot’s at the familiar noise of crunching sand beneath the soles; it eased her tension slightly as a sense of familiarity tickled her.

“Not far,” Poe made sure that he kept his pace with her and Rey took the time to take in the people around them. A mixture of rough looking merchants, smugglers and scoundrels littered around the streets, all of them eyeing the two new comers with a bored interest before returning back to their usual business. Amongst them were a few families, selling wares such as food or clothing and children scrambled through groups of people with wide, happy smiles on their faces as they chased a well-loved ball. Rey smiled. It always made her feel a sense of warmth whenever she saw children playing.

“Did you have any friend’s growing up?” Poe asked off-handily as he noticed her fixed sight. Rey flinched at the question and she felt another scab within her being picked at by it.

“No…I…I had no one,” Rey replied sadly, “My childhood was about survival and there weren’t many kids around other than me.”

“Oh Rey, I’m sorry for even asking, I didn’t even think that through before I opened my big mouth,” Rey shrugged it off, pretending that she was fine with it but deep down the wound pricked in pain.

“It’s fine, I can’t miss something I never had,” Her tone was flat and Poe frowned, “Don’t worry about it.”

“Well, you have me now, and Finn when he pulls his head out of that ass of his,” Poe winked and Rey let out a soft laugh, “This way.”

Poe motioned for her to follow into a two storied, traders post and she watched as he gently pushed the door open and poked his head in. He stepped in and Rey quickly followed, closing the door behind her. Poe walked over to the counter and rung the bell, leaning over it to look out at the staircase behind it. An older looking woman peered back as she sat on the lower step, her eyes narrowed playfully.

“Heya Snips, still hanging in there I see,” The woman quirked her eyebrow before her lips pulled back into an amused grin, “Need any help getting up in your old age?”

“Poe Dameron,” The woman chuckled, “You and I both know even in my old age you wouldn’t stand a chance.”

“Naw Snips, one day you’ll feel as old as you look,” Snips, as Poe called her, twerked her head towards Rey, “A friend, she needs your help.”

“Jedi…,” The woman’s tone dropped its playfulness, “There’s no help here for her.”

“Come on Snips…you’re the only one who can help…please…,” The woman stood up and Rey was taken aback. Poe was insinuating that this woman was elderly but to Rey she looked a youthful sixty-year-old. She had large montrals protruding from her head that was elongated by lengthy tails that were striking with a blue and white stripped pattern; a leather head peace rested at the base that was simple but held a unique elegance to it. Snips’ skin was a soft orange but with age it had dulled slightly and her white face markings had become creased into her few wrinkles that indicated her age. Rey found her blue eyes piercing and she stood still, not sure how to plead her case with someone who had eyes that screamed a hardened past.

“She could put my whole operation in danger,” Snips walked over to the counter and rested her elbow on it, “I sense a darkness in her.”

“That’s why she needs your help Snips, Luke and the General don’t understand but you do…,” Snips straightened up at the mention of the Skywalker twins.

“Skyguy’s kid’s huh, figures those two wouldn’t have a clue what to do with this one,” Snips chuckled, “Always causing trouble, even in the afterlife.”

“I…Please,” Rey whispered.

“Who was it?” Snips asked, “Which Skyguy dragged you into the family drama?”

“No one…well…,” Rey rubbed the back of her head.

“You’re involved with one of them, I sense it. I’d know their signatures anywhere and you reek of one,” Snips pointed, “Come on, spill it.”

“Kylo Ren,” Rey blushed. Snips looked at her for a moment before letting out a loud, soft laugh.

“Kriff, Skyguy’s grandkid eh, what’s he like? I’ve heard the stories of course but I wanna know from someone whose gotten close to him,” The playfulness was back and Rey wasn’t sure what to say.

“You…knew his grandfather?” Rey questioned back.

“Knew him? He was my master when I was a Jedi and before…,” Snips face fell, “Before Darth Vader destroyed him that is.”

“Snips…We really, really need your help. I know this is painful but you’re the only one I think who could help her,” Poe was pleading again as he sensed Snips withdrawal from them at the resurfacing of her memories.

“I…I was a Jedi and now…now I don’t know what I am. I’m walking a thin line right now, one I’m about to tip over and if there’s another way, if there’s something that can stop me from falling and you know it then please, please help me not turn into a monster,” Snips sighed before giving a curt nod.

“Come upstairs for some tea, you can tell me everything there and then I can decide whether or not your cause is lost,” Snips lifted up a wooded panel and ushered Rey through it, snapping it closed quickly just as Poe was about to step through, “Not you Dameron.”

“But-,” Snips glared at him before shoving an envelope into his hands.

“Take that to Skyguy’s bratty daughter, make sure you get there quick and you better not mention me, last thing I need is a Jedi turning up on my doorstep looking for his lost student,” Poe looked to Rey who gave him a nod, letting him know that it was okay as he threw her lightsaber back to her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so short! I'm fighting major writers block at the moment so i'm trying to push through it so i can continue writing this!


	10. Chapter 10

Poe had always held his leader in a high regard, he had always looked up to her, respected her, followed her through thick and thin but this time…this time he knew she had been wrong, that she shouldn’t have listened to Luke. Poe understood the reasoning, he did but when it came to his friends his loyalty for once in his life more important to keep to them than the noble cause he had dedicated his life to. Rey needed help, not to be locked away in a six by six cell like some rabid animal. She just needed someone who could guide her, who showed her some god damn compassion because she had never asked anything from these people other their friendship when they asked for so much more in return. Finn was furious, rightfully so. Poe had lied to him, scared him half to death and was still lying to him now, feeding the him half-truths to give Rey time. The pilot knew that over time Finn would get it, that he would forgive him and Rey but for now he was deep in the dog house and he would be there for a while.

Poe stood in front of Leia, his hands behind his back, eyes staring forward and lips thin. She had scolded him, thrown him in a cell similar to the one they had planned to put Rey into and then pulled him out, knowing that they needed him and that although they didn’t agree with his actions that didn’t mean he was in the wrong. Leia acknowledged that they had no idea what to do with Rey, that their suggested measures were more out of fear and the need to protect their diminishing cell of the resistance.

“Is she safe?” Leia sat down, admitting defeat. Luke wasn’t in the room, his sister thinking it best that since she knew Poe the best she didn’t need him interfering again.

“She is,” she gestured for him to sit as well and he did. His hand was curled into a fist, clutching onto the information Snips had given him. He hadn’t gotten the chance to share it before, “Rey is where she needs to be, she’s with someone who can help her.”

“Are you sure?” Leia’s voice held doubt in it and Poe nodded, determined to make the woman see he had only done what was best for all of them.

“Yes,” he stated firmly, “If anyone can help her it’s that person…I understand why you would consider Rey a threat but if this person can teach her how to control herself, to balance herself back out then that is the course I decided would benefit us all. I’m sorry General, but Rey was already partially isolated on Hoth and look what that did…chucking her in a cell would only push her further away from us.”

“I wish I didn’t agree with you Poe, but I do. I’m afraid Luke’s insecurities due to the past has clouded his judgement when it has come to his padawan.” Poe liked Luke, he really did but the man needed to realise Rey wasn’t Kylo Ren.

“Let’s show Rey the trust she had shown us,” Poe handed the piece of paper over and Leia took it, skimming over it quickly, “This is from your mysterious contact? The one Rey is with?”

“Yes,” Leia picked up her data pad and typed the list in, looking back and forth then up to Poe.

“This is a list of political children,” the general murmured, “Children of parent’s that keep us funded…”

“The First Order must be targeting them,” Poe added to her train of thoughts, “I doubt they would murder them, that would only push their parents our way further…” Leia stood up, opening the door to her rooms and poked her head out, talking with a person. She pulled back inside and Finn stepped in, his face downtrodden and his dark, brown eyes still holding their disappointment.

“Poe’s been given a list of children that have parents as political figures. The First Order must be targeting their families but we need an insight into how,” Leia asked the dark skinned man, ignoring the tension between him and her best pilot.

“Recruitment,” Finn replied flatly, “It’s a tactic General Hux has used in the past,” the ex-Stormtrooper cringed.

“It makes sense,” Poe commented, his eyes training on Finn warily. He hadn’t been able to talk to Finn properly before now, but by the stoic face he was on the receiving end of, it seemed his partner needed some time.

“We must get ahead of them if we can. Poe, head to Coruscant, meet with our contact and find out if the First Order has started the process. Warn them of the threat and encourage them to leave the planet,” the pilot kept silent, watching his general and for the first time, in a long time, he noticed how weathered the woman was becoming. Fighting two wars, her family split down the middle, her husband dead by the hands of her son, she was exhausted.

“Yes, General,” he saluted her, turning on his heel to face Finn.

“Take Jessika with you, she blends in well,” General Organa made the offhanded comment, a secondary thought, “Finn, we have a debriefing in an hour. I expect you to have a presentation on First Order recruitment tactics.”

“Yes, General,” Finn moved to the side, letting Poe pass and he could feel those dark eyes on him. Finn wanted to say something, but they both knew any tiff they had was better without the General’s presence and there were more pressing matters at hand. The discussion would have to wait until Poe returned.

…………………………

Rey sat across from Snips, as Poe had called her. The woman had placed a small cup of tea in front of her, sitting cross legged in a meditation pose that Rey had come accustomed to. It seemed Poe had been right when he had said this woman was well known in the ways of the Force, even if she was reluctant to help. Snips was scrutinising her through narrowed eyes, her lips pursed as she sipped on her own tea but there was no malice in it. It was if she was waiting for something, something Rey wasn’t aware of and when the brunette woman felt a heaviness lift she understood. How had she not sensed him? Had Rey just gotten so used to having him with her now that he could so easily slip in unnoticed? It seemed though, that Snips, whoever she was or had been, had sensed him and waited until Kylo had gotten frustrated enough to pull his connection.

“You fear it,” the Togruta female stated blandly, “that fear makes you blind to his presence.”

“I don’t intend to be,” Rey cringed, feeling as if she was being scolded but there was only compassion in the other woman’s face.

“Guilt can make us blind to many things,” Snips hummed. The woman held her hand out, putting her cup down with the other, “Now that he’s gone, let’s see what it is we are dealing with shall we?”

“Are you sure?” she was hesitant; how could she not be? After everything that had happened, the last thing Rey wanted to do was to compromise whatever Snips had going on. She seemed close to Poe, somehow having information deemed important enough to go straight to Leia and on top of that, she was trained in the force when Rey was under the impression there were only a handful left.

“Relax. I have been around long enough and trained far longer than Skyguy’s kid. I know how to keep the pests out,” Snips winked at her and Rey bit her lip but gave her hand over anyway. The woman held out her other hand now that it was free and Rey slipped her second hand into it, “Stay with me. Do not get distracted.”

“I’ll try,” Rey didn’t know what to expect, but she followed the elderly woman’s lead and closed her eyes. It didn’t take long to work out that she was supposed to mediate, to connect herself with the Force, and she tried to hold back her panic when the usual calm was no longer in reach for her. She went to pull back, but she felt Snips with her, guiding her and Rey focused on staying close to the other woman’s signature. It was peaceful, balanced, something Rey had missed desperately.

“I see,” Snips hummed quietly. They pulled back, and Rey opened her eyes. She found herself panting slightly, the effort to stay with Snips and not drift into the chaotic nature of own mangled force signature difficult.

“Can you help me?” Rey held her breath as she waited for the answer, begging internally that the woman could and when Snips stayed quiet her heart dropped.

“We have a lot to discuss,” Snips stood up, brushing herself down and going over to her small kitchen area, “First though, how good of a mechanic are you?”

“I’ve tinkered. I lived on Jakku, stripping the war debris for parts was how I survived,” Rey wasn’t sure how Snips knew that and the woman must have sensed her confusion because she chuckled.

“Your hands are rough, your nails have grease under them,” Rey looked down, picking at her nails embarrassedly, “It’s good, means you can pull your weight around here while you learn to how to manage this bond you’ve created.”

“You’re going to help me?” she looked up, wide eyed and she couldn’t help the smile that spread across her face. For the first time in a while, she had hope.

“On one condition,” Snips took a moment and Rey could sense her reach out gently with the force. She felt around, searching for any sign of her unwanted companion and when she found none she continued. “Keep your nose out of my business. I won’t lie to you, but with Skyguy’s brat of a grandson latching onto you, you can put what I’ve got going on at risk. You do as I say, when I say, and in return, I’ll help you.”

“Of course!” Rey agreed quickly. There was no way she would want to jeopardise anything.

“Let’s chat then, before that brat comes back to bother you,” Snips grabbed a fresh pot of tea, filling it and putting it on the fire lit stove, “What do you know of Force bonds?”

“Nothing,” Rey sighed, “I just…know it can be used against me.”

“How so?” Snips sat back down in her previous position, keeping an eye on the tea out of the corner of her eye but Rey felt that her focus was on her.

“Kylo, he uses it to communicate with me, or…hurt me,” the woman stayed silent, not contributing and Rey took a deep breath. “I see him, talk to him, in my dreams that is, but it’s like…it’s like I can feel what he feels. Not all the time, but if the emotion is strong enough…”

“Do you affect him in return?” Rey nodded. She knew she did because she could feel his irritation at times and she had been guilty in taking pleasure out of that, “I see.”

“Can it be destroyed?” Rey asked the question everyone had been wondering and the woman in front of her, the woman with orange skin and beautiful eyes shook her head but did not look at her with sympathy.

“I’m going to assume you’ve only tried to fight it, not embrace it,” she was thrown by that assumption. Not once had she ever considered embracing the bond. God knows what would happen to her if she did. It was tempting, of course it was because it was the dark side and from what Luke had taught her it was supposed to be enticing, “Skyguy’s kid is an idiot, reckless, just like his father was.”

“I’m…I don’t follow,” Rey cringed at how blunt, yet playful Snips was about the Skywalker family, but if what she had said was true then Snips knew them a hell of a lot more than Rey did.

“Balance,” Snips groaned, “The Force, it always has been, and always will be about balance. This is no exception.”

“But, how can I balance such a thing!” Rey was frustrated already being thrown the generic, Jedi, mumbo jumbo. She got it, she understood it. It had been hammered over and over again into her mind by Luke. Balance was key.

“Fighting it makes you weak. You use too much energy going back and forth. The light side is strong, but when weakened the dark side is stronger because it knows all the vulnerabilities to attack and takes the advantage. Think of it as trench warfare,” Snips seemed so calm talking about it, but the idea completely frightened Rey. Embrace the dark side? It was insane.

“You want me to what? Go dark?” she bit out, her frustration getting the better of her and the ex-Jedi shook her head.

“No. I want you to accept the bond and create a balance between the two sides,” Rey was more confused than ever and she put her head in her hand at feeling a headache starting to come on. “The main connection, in your mind, what do you feel it looks like.”

“I…don’t know,” Rey replied honestly.

“Twisted together?” Snips raised a brow, the white marking going up and the corner of her lip following it.

“I guess so?” she shrugged, still not following and Snips pushed herself off the ground. Rey watched as she shuffled around her draws, searching for something and when she pulled out a ball of twine, Rey, for the life of her, could not work out what the woman was doing.

“Here,” Snips cut three bits off, handing her one and Rey took it between her fingers gingerly, “I want you to pull the frayed bit of it, really tug at it.”

Rey did as she was told, grabbing hold of the small, frayed bit that stuck out from being hastily cut. It pulled, the rest of the twine bunching and Rey tried to smooth it back down. No matter what she did, the bit of twine wouldn’t come out, not without pulling more or causing it to bunch. She put it down, looking at it, then looked at Snips who had the other two bits, twisted together and tied at each end. Snips placed it next to Rey’s bit before standing up and grabbing the fresh pot of tea off of the stove and came back, placing it on a mat to the side.

“Tell me the difference,” Snips hummed. Rey looked down, taking each piece in her hands and holding them up.

“My one’s damaged, unusable,” she noted, feeling the frayed, roughly bunched and falling apart bit of twine. It felt horrible between her fingers and as she held it, rolling it between her fingers it only deteriorated further.

“And mine?” Snips smiled as she saw Rey’s eyes widened. She pulled it tight, turning the twine and watching it twirl.

“Each bit of twine is intact, wrapped together, but still separate,” the woman did a rolling motion with her hands, trying to get Rey to say more and Rey found she couldn’t.

“Do you understand now?” Snips winked.

“I…I think I do,” Rey whispered out, clutching the twine to her chest like a life line.

“Balance,” the woman chuckled, “Without it, both sides are damaged, sometimes beyond repair.”

“So if I accept it, I can balance it?” Rey’s mind was going a hundred miles an hour, “But what does that mean for me? Am I still a Jedi? Am I dark? Where…where do I fall?”

“That depends on what you want to fight for, what you care for,” Snips pursed her lips again, pointing to the pot of tea that was cooling down and Rey held her finished cup out, “What we care about drives our choices. The dark side, they care about power and gaining that power by any means necessary. The Jedi, they want peace, but they keep themselves emotionally distant as they value logic. So, Rey, where do you fall? Are you logical? Do you want power? Or…is there something else?”

“I…,” Rey mulled it over, taking her time as she sipped her fresh cup of tea. Snips didn’t push her to answer, didn’t hurry her, and when Rey reached her answer the woman smiled, “I want to fight to protect those I care about.”

“Is that it?” Snips cocked her head to the side, “Do you want to gain power to do that? Or do you want to use logic to achieve it?”

“Neither,” she furrowed her brows, knowing her answer made no sense, “I don’t know how, but I feel neither of those fit me.”

“Then, you’re neither,” the woman shrugged. “Like you Rey, they’re have been few, not many, but a few who saw that the answer was not a one size fits all approach. Like you, I fall between the gap.”

“You?” Rey leaned forward, compelled and Snips winked again.

“My stories are for another day,” Rey could see Snips slowly closing herself off from her, the conversation over and she could sense why. Kylo had decided to creep back in, whatever he had been doing done.

……………………

Another force user. That was the only answer. Kylo hadn’t retreated like Rey had thought. The damn Togruta woman had done something. He had been cut off from Rey, longer than he had been since the connection had been formed. He couldn’t even feel Rey’s force signature for a brief moment and for a second, a tiny second, he had feared the woman had done the impossible. He had been in the dark, and that infuriated him. Who knew the pilot had such a person up his sleeve and that somehow, a powerful force user such as her had gone under the radar for so long. Until Rey, it had only been him, his uncle and Snoke with the ability to access it and now he finds this…this woman, this ex-Jedi with more knowledge his uncle. She was a threat, a serious one and Snoke would not be pleased.

Kylo looked around, staring down at the control panel that had met the end of his lightsaber in his rage. It was smoking, bits glowing yellow from the long strikes into it and his shoulders were heaving. It had been a long time since he had felt the need to lash out in such a manner. Everything he had been working towards was in danger. Everything Snoke had been working towards, the First Order, it was all in jeopardy with another force user in play. If Rey convinced the woman to join the resistance, a woman with considerable knowledge if she had remained so well hidden for so long; it would give them an edge, a rallying point that they could not afford them to have.

What irritated Kylo further was that he had picked up on a small bit of the initial conversation before he was cut off. This woman, she _knew_ his family. Not knew of, but actually _knew_ them. She had even referred to his grandfather, had seemed closely acquainted with the man to such a point she had referred to his family as brats! Skywalkers, the royalty of the force, brats! It was outrageous, blasphemous even! He couldn’t tolerate it, but he had no clue where Rey was. The pilot had been smart, and the woman was smarter. There were numerous trading posts that looked like the one Rey was at. Kriff, he could count on two hands one moon in particular that looked exactly like that. It was on the outer rims, but where. It was vast, huge, essentially a needle in a haystack. As far as tracking Rey down, it would be impossible. Before this, he had felt content that it would be her coming to him, but now that was threatened. Kylo hated to admit it, hated to even think it, but he needed Hux and he needed to alert Snoke to this new threat. Already he was preparing for the mental and physical onslaught of the impromptu meeting. Snoke was not kind when he felt blindsided.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I owe you all a massive, massive apology for how long this has taken me.   
> I've heavily gotten into my childhood of all things Batman, so my inspiration for this story completely disappeared as my i was drawn to writing my other, DC inspired works. I've tried numerous times to write this chapter, trying to figure out where to take this story and I forced myself to sit down tonight and write something! I can't promise continuous updates as i'm about to enter my last semester of my degree and i have an insane amount of work i need to do in regards to this, but now that i've got the ball rolling again i hope to write bit by bit on all my stories so that i at least get something out.   
> Please bear with me, it wasn't my intention to leave this for so long!


	11. Chapter 11

Rey turned the wrench, her teeth gritted as the screw she was trying to undo refused to budge. The ship was small, old, rusted in some parts and definitely stolen. Snips hadn’t been joking when she said she was putting Rey to work. She had spent her first week working in the small, but well stoked garage out back of the store. It turned out Snips was handy when it came to mechanical work and had a steady influx of jobs, which she was happy to pass on to Rey. They worked side by side of course, but the Togruta would disappear on ‘business’ every so often. Rey knew better than to question what the business was, Snips had made it clear her connection to Kylo was a threat to whatever she was doing. Rey let out a small yell in a last-ditch effort to remove the screw, and when it didn’t budge, she threw down the wrench and slipped herself out from under the ship. The years had not been kind to the small transport.

Rey walked to the work bench, grabbing a quick drink before leaning against it. She eyed the ship, the horrid, patchy orange of it mocking her. She had pulled apart star destroyers and this…this piece of trash was defeating her over one, small, screw. Rey narrowed her eyes, a niggling in the back of her mind which she tried to ignore. She knew what it was, who it was, and she was determined not to take any advice from her tormentor. She took another sip of water, pushing herself off the bench and decided to start on another area. The rust bucket needed a good tune up. She jumped into the cockpit, leaning down and pulling a small wrench from her work belt. Rey was exasperated to find the small panel she needed to get to had been welded shut for whatever reason, leaving her the only option of returning underneath it and attempting to remove the last, wretched screw. She hopped out of the cockpit, sliding herself back under and reached for the wrench she had discarded.

 _“There is an easier way,”_ his voice chuckled, amused at her pitiful struggle.

“Shut up,” Rey snapped back at him. She wasn’t interested in anything he had to say.

 _“I’m only trying to help,”_ she ground her teeth at that.

“I don’t need your help,” the ex Jakku resident snapped back.

 _“Clearly you do,”_ from his tone, Kylo was having the time of his life taunting her failing attempt. Rey cursed him under her breath, wishing he would be eaten by a Bantha or dropped into the nearest pit of lava.

“Kriff,” Rey muttered, giving it one last try. The wrench gave a sharp movement, the screw finally being freed from it’s rusted confines and Rey grinned widely. While she loved the force and had missed using it, nothing beat the payoff of hard labour.

 _“You’re wasting your potential,”_ Kylo changed tactic, not impressed with her small victory. It had been this way all week. Small conversations and bantering back and forth. Rey wasn’t happy about it, but Snips had suggested it, wanting the young woman to no longer fear the man behind the voice. She had pointed out very clearly that if Rey wanted to survive this, she needed to accept that the bond was there to stay and work it to her advantage. Building a relationship with Kylo, even if it was disdainful, was a step in that direction. If she removed the fear, then she could work on creating balance between their bond, rather than a constant tug of war.

“I could tell you the same thing,” she snorted. Rey was being honest with the comment. If she could convince Kylo to take a step back, to see things from her perspective, maybe, just maybe, she could pull him back from the darkness enough and save him from Snoke.

 _“We will be unstoppable, Rey. Just come to me,”_ he pressed, his voice low, seductive, and Rey shuddered. She hated when he did that. It made her heart race and her stomach tighten.

“My only goal, Kylo, is to keep my friends safe,” Rey looked up into the cavity now exposed to her after removing the panel. A lot of parts needed replacing, many that the small garage didn’t have, but with one or two items the rust bucket would chug along happily for a few more months.

 _“Friends?”_ she could almost picture that god awful smile, curled as if she had walked right into a trap he had set. _“What friends, Rey? The pilot has abandon you. The traitor no longer trusts you. My uncle…he has replaced you with that weaker force user.”_

“Stop it,” Rey hissed, the subject a sore spot for her. Every night she was kept up, tossing and turning, trying to keep his destructive whispers out.

 _“You’re alone, again, all because they don’t understand you,”_ Kylo continued, his signature wrapping around her, engulfing her. Rey tried to stay calm, tried to do as Snips had suggested. If she panicked, she gave him more power. _“Why Rey? Why do you keep denying yourself of the one person who will never turn on you?”_

“Rey!” she heard light footsteps beside the ship. They were quick, alarmed, and when Snips leaned down and poked her head into view Rey was relieved. “What have I told you!?”

“I know, I know. Acceptance not submission,” Rey bit out, frustrated that she had messed up, again. Kylo receded, knowing that with her new mentor around his window had closed.

“Balance, Rey.” Snips shook her head, offering a hand up off the ground as Rey scooted back out from under the ship. “Do not fear the bond, but do not allow him to control the interactions. Accept that he is there, that he can share a space with you, but never allow him to mould it.”

“It’s not that simple,” she didn’t mean to bite so bitterly, but she was growing more annoyed with herself by the second. Rey was trying hard, but the second Kylo picked at her insecurities she found her strength leaving her. She hated that his words felt comforting, and that it would be so easy to just let him win.

“It’s a dance, Rey, a fine line, one you must learn the steps to,” Snips tilted her head, looking at Rey’s tired face covered now in smears of grease. “He struggles with it too.”

“How do you know that? He seems pretty happy with us being force bound,” Rey moved back to the bench space, placing her hands on it and kicking the bottom with her foot.

“He wants to control it, to own it. There is no balance in that,” the ex-Jedi joined her, placing a hand on her shoulder. “You call him to the light side, just as he calls you to the dark. Not even him, who craves control and power, wants to have it at all times. It makes him unstable. When his control slips over things in his life, he in turn loses control of himself.”

“His anger,” Rey sighed, biting her bottom lip nervously. “I’ve felt it, many of times. I know what you’re saying is true, but how can I balance this bond if one side of it is so unstable?”

“That is for you to figure out,” Snips grinned wide, as if she knew something Rey didn’t. “A relationship, Rey, is two people building on each other’s strengths. What does he offer you?”

“Relationship?” she was taken aback by the thought of it. A relationship, with Kylo Ren? The idea was insane.

“What does he offer you, Rey?” the woman pushed, ignoring the younger of the twos bewilderment.

“Security,” Rey muttered, embarrassed and ashamed to admit it. “He promises he will always want me. That he will never leave me.”

“Is that a bad thing?” Snips wondered, looking past Rey and to the wall. “Everyone craves connection. You more than most. Abandoned as a child, thrown into a war. Then, you make a mistake and everyone you thought cares, starts to fear you.”

“And Kylo Ren is the answer to that?” Rey laughed, shaking her head. She would not let her pathetic insecurities and childhood issues determine her future for her, nor would she be manipulated by them.

“All I’m saying is that you two might have more in common than you think. You are both vulnerable in the same way, both looking for someone to accept you, but it is your individual strengths that draw you together,” Snips gave her arm a squeeze, a small comfort as she unloaded perspective others hadn’t seen before.

“He’s a murderer,” Rey tugged out her hair, letting it fall messily and sighed when the tension her buns created ebbed away.

“Yes, he is, but so are most people who fight in wars,” Rey scrunched up her face at that.

“He’s with the First Order. He’s Snoke’s apprentice. He _is_ the darkside,” she didn’t want to listen to the woman, didn’t want to acknowledge the inevitable. She still had her sanity, her sense of what was right and wrong. Kylo Ren was darkside through and through.

“Dark side, light side,” Snips bit out, irritated at the notion, “No one can ever be truly good, there is no balance at the extreme ends of the spectrum. Fanatics, both sides. I do not agree, nor condone what the First Order is doing, which is why I do not support them, but, I cannot say that the resistance is completely innocent either.”

“But they fight for freedom!” Rey debated, “They want democracy, equality, to protect the rights for all those in the galaxy.”

“Their hearts are in the right place, but I ask you this,” Snips stared straight at Rey, eyes hard and lips pulled into a thin line. “Darth Sidious was defeated. The rebels won. Democracy was reinstated, moved to a new planet all together even. So why? Why does the First Order exist?”

“I…,” she opened her mouth to retort, to say something in defence of her friends, her cause, but found nothing.

“I support equity, freedom, but I am no fool, Rey. Wherever there is Democracy, there will be people trying to corrupt the system. There will also always be people that fight to keep the system clean, who will stand up for what they believe is right. Democracy, like the force, is a balancing act. It can tip either way. Into corruption, or into peace. It will never remain constant though. It will settle. It will be calm for periods of time, but eventually it will tip in the favour of one, resulting once again, into war.” Snips looked past her, to the wall behind her but her gaze was distant, far away as she thought of another time.

“I…,” Rey tried again, letting Snips words sink in. “I think I understand.”

“Do you?” the woman snapped back from her memories, eyes lifted as if she didn’t believe Rey had gotten her point.

“Nothing is ever constant,” she stated carefully, “Everything, even people, need balance. If that balance tips, it’s the other sides responsibility to level it out again.”

“And?” Snips waved her hands, as she had done on many occasions to try get Rey to elaborate more.

“And…I’ve been given the responsibility…to save Kylo Ren?” the response she received was a bark of a laugh.

“No.” Snips laughed. “You have the responsibility to keep Skyguy’s brat of a Grandson in line.”

“And how the hell am I supposed to do that?” Rey muttered, trying to think of a way but falling short.

“You’ll figure it out,” Snips turned back to the rust bucket of a ship, hand on hip and clicked her tongue. “Now, let’s fix this eyesore up and get it the hell out of here before it gives me a headache.”

………………………………….

Kylo didn’t know how to feel. On one hand, Rey was more willing to talk to him. She participated in his usual, one sided conversations. He found that he would drift off in meetings, wondering what the scavenger was doing, only to find her happily working away on rundown old ships with her nails bitten down and imbedded with grease. At times he sat back, listening to her list off instructions to herself. Replace wiring, check the oil, double check the bolts she had put back on to make sure they were secure. It amused him to see her do such mundane tasks below that of a force user, and genuinely enjoy it. She was leading a simple life, a quiet life, and dare he think it, but it suited her. Kylo had only ever seen her in tattered scavenger wear, or Jedi outfits, but he could easily picture her now in stained workers overalls, her three buns messy from lying on the ground, and sweat beading on her head from the hard labour. It was a rough picture, one he never thought he would come to like, but he had. Of course he would never allow her to dress in such a distasteful way when she came to him; he did have a reputation to keep, but the thought wasn’t something that turned him off her.

It was hard when Snips, as he had learnt her name was, was around. She could keep him at bay, put up a wall that kept him out, but she couldn’t do it for too long. He tested it of course, timing the times he was locked out, hoping to find a pattern so that he could trick the woman. She was smart though, wary, changing the time herself to throw him off. At times of importance, when she began speaking to Rey of things he, himself would love to know, he was quickly shoved out, nursing a pounding headache from the sudden mental bruising. Other times he felt as if the woman let him slip in purposefully, allowed him to hear brief snippets of their conversations. It was odd, confusing, but he was learning from her and he hated it.

Balance. That damn word his uncle tried to sear into his brain was back. That’s all his uncle would ever say. Breath, calm, stay focused and balanced. Neutral, numb, emotionally stunted. Whatever the woman was doing though, it seemed to be doing the opposite of what Luke had tried. He felt it, her presence that was. It was if the past week she had been almost inviting his signature in, wrapping hers around his with a gentle ease and making the bond stronger. He wasn’t sure if she was trying to trick him, or if she was giving up, but Kylo was happy with the new development. If the bond continued to grow strong, it would be easier to corrupt her, to taunt her, to twist her insecurities so that she trusted him and relied on him. If he picked his moments right, there was no way Rey wouldn’t come to him.

“Are you…smiling?” Hux asked, shocked and Kylo’s face dropped immediately. Smiling? Him? Kylo Ren did not smile.

“The reports,” he snapped, looking to his datapad.

“Of course,” the weasel sent them through, his smug smile never dropping and Kylo restrained himself from chocking the man.

“Nothing?” he slammed the datapad down on his desk. “You’ve found nothing?”

“I’m sorry, Ren,” Hux snapped, “But the descriptions you’ve been sending me could be a number of models and makes.”

“I expected more,” Kylo’s fingers itched, the disrespectful tone Hux directed at him getting under his skin.

“While the models are outdated, they are still popular in circles of the Outer Rim. I am doing my best to cross reference your description of the planet, but it is taking time to narrow down the options.” Hux turned, his datapad held up and he flicked his finger. Several systems showed in the centre of the room, a large hologram which Hux turned and twisted to get a better view. “These are systems where a number of models have been seen in the area at the times you have specified.”

“How many,” the impatient man snapped.

“Ten at most, but they are spread widely across the Outer Rim. If we were to go planet by planet, it would use a lot of our resources,” it was obvious Hux wasn’t not thrilled by the idea. He had expressed that in their latest meeting with Snoke that he did not support Kylo’s obsession to find the scavenger girl. Luckily for Kylo, Snoke was even more concerned about the appearance of another, powerful force user, and had instructed Hux to work with Kylo until Rey, and the woman named Snips, were found.

“Do it,” Kylo ordered.

“And the raid on the Resistance set for a weeks’ time?” the ginger man enquired.

“On hold. This is more important,” it was Hux’s turn to become angry. He had his own mission to continue.

“Ren, you cannot be serious. My intel specifically states that this base is where they are hiding the missing children we are to recruit. If we postpone the raid, they may be moved, and we will never get the backing of their parents,” Kylo had already begun to tune out, not interested in his plan to control what was left of the Senate. They would fall into line, one way or another.

“Snoke expressed the importance of finding this woman to you, did he not?” he drawled. “Are you to go against his wishes? Again?”

“You are putting the entire future of the First Order in jeopardy, and for what? A girl who can’t even stand to be around you, who detests your very existence?” Hux was pushing his luck, Kylo knew that and Hux knew that. “This is getting ridiculous! I will not send half my troops into the outer rim looking for a pathetic scavenger and an elderly woman!”

“You will,” Kylo stood, placing his hands on his desk and towering over the shorter man.

“I will not. Enough is enough!” Hux refused to back down, keeping his head high. “Your obsession has gone too far.”

“Let’s see what Snoke has to say about your defiance,” Kylo threatened, knowing the man was a coward at heart. Hux wavered, his hardened gaze softening, and a flash of fear crossed his eyes. Kylo knew then, that if he pushed, Hux would crumbled, just as he had before. “Well…Hux?”

“Fine!” he backed down, shoulders dropping. “I will entertain this…this…this search, until our next report to Snoke is due.”

“Good dog,” Kylo laughed, sitting back down in his chair and turning it to look out the window behind him. He knew Hux had started to leave already, his shoes clipping the ground in a hasty retreat, and Kylo went back to thinking of Rey, covered in grease with a wrench in hand.


	12. Chapter 12

Rey sat in the front reception, drumming her fingers on the desk. Snips had asked her to man it while she was out. The woman was expecting some kind of delivery, but was unable to stay to receive it as something important had popped up. Rey wasn’t too sure about it, she was never one to sit around and wait. Sure, she mediated and knew how to, but she would rather be more proactive. Years in the desert, fighting for survival, made sitting around feel like a waste of time. Even after joining the resistance and training with Luke her time was spent well, never taking the luxury to wait around for things to come to her. Rey’s life had been a constant, one foot in front of the other, head down, and keep trotting along. To stay, to sit in one place, it didn’t feel natural.

Rey stood up, moving around the shop with a bored interest. She picked up items, turning them around to inspect them. They were obscure to Rey, things she had never seen before and probably had no use for. She stopped at the corner of the shop, near the door, and looked down when the toe of her boot connected with something. She crouched down, brows furrowed. It was a pot, crudely made, but had a small plant that seemed to be thriving. It was small tree by the looks of it, and it had one, purple flower that was starting to bud. Rey reached out, touching it lightly. The colour was beautiful, the petals more like leaves than a flower and she could see, nestled inside of it, the beginnings of a circular fruit. It looked to be a darker purple, but it had white, vertical strips covering it completely.

“It’s a Jogan plant,” a voice from behind spoke. Rey bolted upright, a blush on her cheeks at being caught out.

“I’ve never seen one before,” she replied, going to the counter and sitting back on the stool.

“They used to be plentiful here, before the empire polluted the planet with all its mining,” the man looked to the plant, a frown on his face. “My family used to grow them. We had a whole orchard dedicated to them specifically.”

“I bet it was beautiful,” Rey smiled, pulling out an old datapad and looking at the incoming and outgoing shipments.

“I wouldn’t know. Never saw it. Just remember the old tales my old pops would tell me,” he walked forward, putting the small package on the counter. “Make sure Snips gets this.”

“Is this the package she was waiting for?” she asked, still not getting the man’s name.  He was younger than her new mentor, but older than Rey. She would put him in his sixties, but she could be wrong. His skin was thick, leathery from spending hours in the sun.

“Not sure,” the man shrugged. “That woman expects a lot of packages.”

“I’ll make sure she gets it,” Rey smiled, tucking it under the counter as instructed.

“You’re new. Snips doesn’t usually take in strays,” he commented, scrutinising her cautiously. It seemed Snips wasn’t the only wary one on the planet. Rey didn’t blame him. The place had a sense of despair to it, almost if the planet itself was dying.

“Guess that makes me special then,” she replied. “Is there anything else I can do you for while you’re here?”

“No. Just tell Snips I’ll be back when I find more,” he turned, leaving the shop and Rey was thoughtful. He seemed hard, guarded, but she got the sense he was trustworthy.

Rey looked at the datapad in her hand, frowning. She hadn’t gotten his name so there was no way she could mark the delivery off. She scrawled through it, having no clue what she was looking for and eventually gave up. She would have to describe the man to Snips and hope she recognised him enough to mark it off herself. She put the datapad down, not sure what to do now. She could go back to the garage, but she couldn’t leave the shop unattended just in case that wasn’t the parcel Snips was waiting for. Rey huffed, growing frustrated that she had to continue to sit still. She had spent so long under the hoods of ships that she longed to go back just so her mind had something to focus on. Having time alone, with nothing but her own thoughts, it wasn’t something she liked to do.

“Long time no see,” Rey’s head snapped up, eyes wide and she clambered out from the desk excitedly.

“Poe!” she bolted towards him, engulfing him in a hug which he happily received. “What are you doing here?”

“Snips sent me a message. Said you’re starting to make some decent progress and deserved to see a friendly face,” he grinned wide, his boyish charm evident and it made Rey think of Finn. Her face dropped, and she stepped back, her hand rubbing her arm. “Hey, what’s that sour look for?”

“Nothing, I just…,” her chest began to ache, a dull throb beating, and she decided to bite the bullet. She had to face her insecurities, or she would continue to give Kylo an edge. “How’s Finn?”

“Good, actually,” Poe closed the door behind him, knowing that no one would enter if it was and nudged his head to the stairs. “Let’s head upstairs. I’m sure Snips has some of that tea around she stashes for special occasions.”

“You seemed close to her,” Rey commented. She had been curious ever since Poe had brought her to Snips about how he knew the ex-Jedi.

“She considers me a pest,” Poe laughed, heading upstairs before her and knowing his way round expertly. He moved to a small cupboard, opening it and pulling out a small container. “I was young when I met her. All gung-ho, ready to fight the good fight with no sense of self-worth. Got in trouble a lot.”

“You still get in trouble,” Rey snorted.

“For all the right reasons now though,” he shot back, winking at her. “I was in a bar here gathering information. I pushed too hard too fast, ended up with a nasty blaster wound and Snips found me passed out in an alley.”

“She helped you?” Rey watched as he made the tea, enthralled by the story.

“Of course, she did. Snips like to act like an old battle axe, but she’ll never turn down someone in need,” he took the kettle, putting it beside them once it was hot enough and poured Rey a cup. She took it happily, blowing on it too cool it down before taking a sip.

“So, Finn…,” Rey changed the subject, knowing she couldn’t ask about the relationship Poe had now with Snips. It was clear that Poe and Snips worked closely, the woman helping the resistance when she felt it was appropriate and Rey wouldn’t jeopardise that.

“He’s still coming around,” Poe looked up from his cup, a weak smile forming apologetically. “He’s good, but he’s still processing.”

“He hates me,” she sighed. Kylo made himself know to her then, whispering things she’d rather not hear.

“No!” Poe shook his head. “We’ve talked Rey, a lot, he’s just frustrated he doesn’t know how to help you.”

“He can’t,” Rey stated simply. Working with Snips, understanding that things weren’t as black and white as she wished they were, she realised it was up to her to fix things.

“He’s starting to understand that.” Her friend hummed. “Doesn’t make it any less frustrating. I…understand where this may head for you, but I have faith that whatever happens you will always have our best interests at heart. You protect those you care about fiercely. Nothing can ever change that.”

“How do you do it?” the woman was amazed by her friend. The entire time he was rational, logical, he stayed calm when others pointed fingers and judged.

“What? Be a friend?” Poe quirked an eyebrow at her.

“No. Be so…accepting,” he stared at her, as if he was trying to figure something out. Rey tucked a stray strand of hair out of her face, nervous that he would turn on her like others if he knew what Snips was asking of her.

“What’s going on?” he eventually asked. “You seem…different.”

“Different how?” Rey shifted on the spot, uneasy where the conversation was going.

“Just…,” Poe breathed in deeply. “Balanced, I guess.”

“I don’t feel it,” she admitted. “Maybe it’s the environment here. There’s…less pressure. Snips has me working in the garage, using my hands every day.”

“Manual labour,” he snorted. “I hope she’s paying you.”

“A little bit,” Rey shrugged. Snips took a bit of her cut to cover cost such as food, but she was earning a small amount which could cover small things, such as a meal here or there, in the future. “There’s just something about it. Something that grounds me.”

“Having a bit of grounding isn’t a bad thing. Getting back to your roots can help you get your head straight,” the pilot pointed out. “How is…well…you know.”

“Ah,” she wasn’t sure what to say, but she could feel her cheeks warm again. “I’m working on it.”

“She’s doing well,” Snips came up the stairs, voicing her opinion on the matter with a proud tone. “Helping yourself to my tea again, Dameron?”

“You know I can’t resist,” he scratched the back of his head, his boyish smile back on his face. Rey laughed. She had been around Snips long enough to know that it wouldn’t work on the woman. Poe knew it to, but he was never one not to try.

“Did my package arrive?” she turned her attention to Rey. The brunette nodded.

“I think so? The man didn’t give me his name, but he said he’ll bring you more when he can,” Snips nodded, seeming understanding and Rey was relieved it was the right parcel. “It’s under the desk where you said to put it.”

“Good,” she didn’t elaborate and Rey, nor Poe expected her to. The woman had more secrets than Luke, and Rey was starting to think it was a Jedi trait. “Staying for dinner, Dameron?”

“Sure.” He seemed happy to spend more time with them. “I’m not due back for a while. The First Order has been quiet since we derailed their plans to kidnap those kids. The general wishes to thank you Snips…in person.”

“Ha!” Snips sat down, throwing her head back. “I know better than to be in the same room as a Skywalker. Last time I was…,” she stopped, trailing off and Rey noticed her eyes dulled. “Pass me some tea, will you Rey?”

 _“Push her,”_ Kylo hissed, his thirst for information hitting her like a speedster at full speed.

“Rey? Are you alright?” Poe grew alarmed, his hand on her back and she looked down, realising she was clutching her chest.

“Fine,” she breathed out, wincing as she tried to fight him off. She would not let him ruin this for her.

 _“Do it!”_ she heard him shout, his voice filling her mind and she clutched at her head. Rey stood up, moving away from her friends. He was overwhelming her, trying to get her to do what he wanted.

“Rey!” Snips was alarmed, on her feet in an instance. Rey could feel her reach out with the force, trying to push Kylo back, but something was wrong. He became stronger, dropping Rey to her knees. She yelled out, tears in her eyes and let out a scream.

“Do something!” Poe yelled, standing back and knowing if he was to go near his friend it would only cause her more pain.

“I…I can’t,” the woman spluttered. “This isn’t right! I should be able to but…”

“Please,” Rey begged, fear engulfing her. She hadn’t felt pain like this since the first time he had used their bond against her. She was tempted to protect herself, to cocoon herself again, and when she tried, she found she couldn’t.

“That sound,” Poe ran to the window, looking out with panic. “Tie fighters.”

“Poe, we must leave,” Snips spoke softly, crouching down next to Rey and stroking her head. “It will do us no good to stay.”

“My ship isn’t far,” he left the window, going to Rey to pick her up but Snips stopped him.

“No,” her face was turned downwards, her skin wrinkling and making her look her age. “There is no more running for her.”

“I won’t leave her,” the pilot tried again, only to be pushed back by Snips, her hand outright.

“Listen to me,” Snips barked at him. “There is nowhere else to hide her. Where will you take her? To the resistance? To her old master? They will cast her out, lock her up. They are afraid of her, you know that, and I know that.”

“So, we just let him have her?” Poe was in disbelief, looking down at his friend and feeling completely helpless.

“She was going to go to him anyway!” she was getting impatient as the sound of blasters firing came closer, alongside the marching of soldiers.

“But-,” he was cut off by Snips who reached for him, grabbing his wrist and pulling him away from his friend.

“I trust her Poe,” she ground out, not looking back as they bounded down the stairs. “Do you?”

“I...,” he gazed over his shoulder, to where he could hear Rey still sobbing and knew Snips was right.

Rey felt them leave, heard their argument, and she wanted to beg them to stay with her. The pain in her head was unbearable and her chest felt as if it was caving in. He was mad, but she had no idea why. She hadn’t done anything that warranted this punishment. Rey knew he was close, knew he was heading towards her. Her breathing was painful, small sharp intakes and she tried desperately to draw them out longer. Why was he hurting her in such a manner? What had she done so wrong? Wasn’t he happy that she had been accepting their bond? Poe and Snips were gone, she knew they were, and she wanted to be angry at them for leaving her to his mercy. A part of her though, the part that had listened to Snips knew she shouldn’t be. She loved her friends, but they were a vulnerability for her and one he would happily exploit. He would use them as leverage against her. Threaten them with harm, even death, and Rey knew she wouldn’t be able to stay strong while attempting to cope with grief and guilt. Snips had been right. There was nowhere left for her to go. Her strength was her independence, her strong survival skills. She was resourceful and intelligent.

“Look at you,” she heard him mutter, his voice distorted by his mask as he advanced towards her. Rey counted his footsteps, opening her eyes as he crouched down next to her, his hand out to touch her face. The leather of his glove made her shiver. She didn’t like it. It was cold and not the warmth she craved.

“Stop it,” she whispered, trying to turn away from him but he grabbed her jaw.

“Where is she?” Kylo asked, his voice taking on a soothing quality.

“I’m not telling you anything,” Rey spat, narrowing her eyes. The pain in her head was subsiding, the crushing sensation in her chest easing, and she calmed her breathing.

“No. I guess I never expected you too,” he sighed. Rey felt him sip his arms under her, cradling her to his chest tightly. “Never mind, I have what I came for.”

“Let go of me,” she struggled in his grip, but it was no use. She was weak from before, exhausted completely from the pain he had inflicted. Rey realised now that she hadn’t done anything wrong, he had done it to keep her subdued, not interested in fighting her again.

“Don’t waste what little energy you have left, Scavenger,” he laughed, mocking her pitiful attempt at freeing herself.

“How did you find me?” Rey asked, deciding he was right. She had to wait for the right opportunity and struggling would only make him hold onto her tighter.

“The Jogan plant,” he replied blandly. “There are only a few planets where they grow, and one that had its orchards eradicated for precious ores.”

“A plant?” Rey grumbled, hating that she was slightly impressed he had worked it out over the small, potted tree.

“Lothal may be on the Outer Rim, but it held significant importance to the Empire,” he was proud as he brought up his grandfather’s legacy. Rey found it unsettling. She looked around, trying to picture what Lothal had once been before the occupation and pollution of the planet. There was nothing to be proud of here. “I sense you are disgusted with me.”

“They destroyed this planet,” she ground out.

“Once again, your naivety blinds you from where the true blame lies,” Kylo hummed, amused with her. Rey frowned, hating that her limited knowledge gave him an edge. “Lothal begged the Senate for help during the Clone Wars. They relied on agricultural trade, but when the Clone Wars broke out, that trade was affected. The Senate ignored their pleas, forcing them deeper into poverty. They had no choice but to turn elsewhere. They invited the Empire to their doorstep, allowed the mining of their lands. Granted, some of the dealings may have been made under…harsh negotiations, but the fault lies with the Senate.”

“That doesn’t excuse the destruction of a planet,” Rey bit out.

“It was a time of war. Resources were in high demand,” he shrugged, his black mask shifting downwards, and she knew he was inspecting her. “Surely you, a scavenger who picks clean the bones of relics understands that. When survival comes into question, it’s about what you can get your hands on now, not the preservation for later.”

“Rey!” she heard Poe’s voice ring out and she turned, eyes wide to see him on his knees, hands behind his back.

“Poe,” she whispered. “Kylo, please, I beg you, let him go!”

“I enjoy you begging,” if he had his mask off, Rey knew the leader of the Knights of Ren would be smirking at her, eyes alight with excitement and she swallowed thickly.

“You monster,” her friend spat out, struggling against his bonds.

“Where is the woman?” Rey could feel his anger seep off him. He was furious at another, potentially failed mission.

“Gone,” it was Poe that spoke up. A large, smug grin on his face.

“It seems that Jedi are only ever good for two things,” Kylo’s grip on her tightened, his anger getting the better of him and Rey squirmed. It was starting to hurt, she could feel his fingers digging into her side and the bond between them growing heavy. “Running and hiding. A coward, just like Skywalker.”

“Kylo,” Rey tested the waters, keeping her voice soft, “You’re…hurting me.” His arms tensed as she spoke, his helmet dropping again, and she felt his anger shift slightly. He didn’t say a word, but his fingers relaxed.

“Sir!” a Stormtrooper ran forward. “A small freighter just left the planet’s atmosphere.”

“Shoot it down,” Kylo swept passed them to his personal shuttle. “Bring the Pilot.”

“No!” Rey pushed against him, determined to protect her friend. The sudden movement forced the man holding her to stumble. Rey took the opportunity to slip out from his grip, darting towards Poe, hand on her lightsaber hilt and ready to draw it. She stopped in front of him, the buzz of the weapon igniting as Stormtroopers circled them. “No one touches him!”

“Rey,” he walked towards them, his own weapon igniting. “He doesn’t deserve your protection.”

“He’s my friend!” she moved her lightsaber in front of her, igniting the other end to form it into a staff and slipped one foot behind her.

“He left you,” he kept his by his side, his grip tight, but his other hand outstretched. “You were in pain, asking for help, and he left you alone.”

“Don’t listen to him,” Poe pushed himself to his feet, standing behind her to support her.

“He didn’t even try to help you,” Rey gritted her teeth, staring at the outstretched hand. She wanted to take it, she knew she didn’t have a choice as she was outnumbered and still afraid to tap into the force.

“Let him go,” she rolled her shoulders, prepared for a fight. “I’ll…come with you, just…let him go.”

“He has information I need,” Kylo refused to back down, taking a step towards her, the red glow of his lightsaber raising in preparation to clash with hers.

“You’ve asked me to see things your way. To understand that…that no one is innocent in this war. I…don’t fit in it,” she could feel tears building, pricking at the corner of her eyes as she decided to be honest finally. “I don’t know much. I get that I have a lot to learn. I do know what’s important to me though, and that is my friends. I’ll die before I let anyone hurt them...”

“This pest is not worth taking your life,” Kylo swung downwards and Rey raised hers to meet it. Sparks flew, and she bent her knees to take the weight of the force behind it. “You still deny me!”

“I don’t!” Rey pushed back, causing him to take a step back and waited for him to swing again. He did, from the side, and Rey dropped, rolling to avoid it.

“Liar!” his strikes came quicker, more precise, and Rey tied desperately to keep up. She knew she was at a disadvantage, but she couldn’t risk using the force to try pre-empt his movements.

“I accept it,” she admitted to him, distraught that she did and that she could no longer deny the inevitable. “I still won’t let you hurt my friends though.”

“If you won’t come willingly, Rey, you give me no choice,” he reached his hand out, pushing her back with the force. She yelled out, crashing into a stone hut behind her. The jagged, rough stones cut into her, scraping her, and she tumbled across the dirt ground, coughing in pain. Kylo’s footsteps were swift as he moved for her again and she rolled when she saw the red from the corner of her eye, slashing down next to her. “You are weak.”

“Shut up,” she rolled again, narrowly avoiding another swing and manged to get herself back on her feet.

“What chance do you have against me without the force?” he switched off his cross blade and strode close to her. Rey didn’t know what to do. She could cut him down, end it completely, but she had found herself to care for the man. She held her lightsaber in front of her, trying to keep a barrier between them. Kylo reached forward, grabbing the middle of it and held it in place. Rey tried to pull it from him, but he refused to let go, and the she felt his finger crawl over hers. It switched off, the plasma receding, leaving them both holding the handle as Kylo pressed her against the wall behind them. “You have nothing to fear of me.”

“Leave my friends alone,” Rey whispered, staring up at his helmet and into the dark lenses that hid his eyes from her. “Please.”

“Begging will do you no good Rey,” she was crushed between him and the wall, his hand now on her hip, his thumb rubbing gently against the fabric of her shirt.

“Spare him,” she tried again. “Spare him and I’ll come with you.”

“You’re coming with me either way,” he chuckled darkly. Rey wanted to reach out and lift the helmet off his head. She wanted to see him properly; His eyes, lips, the mark she had left on him permanently.

“Kylo,” she sighed, parting her lips, loosing herself in him for a moment. It was nice to have him against her again, properly, and not in a dream. It had been forever since that night, and she had forgotten how intoxicating it could be.

“He will not be killed,” he stepped away from her, something shifting in him and Rey pulled her lip between her teeth. She couldn’t look at him, too ashamed of the affect he had on her. “I can promise you that.”


	13. Chapter 13

She picked at the lace of her shoe, her arm curled around her knees to keep them to her. Kylo’s command shuttle was a decent size, but it was boring, sparse, a ship well organised and all the interesting parts of it hidden behind black panelling. Rey’s fingers twitched. She would love to pry it apart, get to the intricated wiring and mechanics, and cause the damn thing to be stuck in the middle of space. That way, at least, he could no longer harm anyone. She may go down with him, forced to drift through space, but it was a price she would be willing to pay. Rey couldn’t do that though. Kylo would stop her before she even tried, and she had a responsibility to Poe.

Rey felt her face contort at the thought of her friend. She may have saved him from death but Kylo hadn’t promised to keep him unharmed. Her head dropped, her eyes closing as she tried to control her breathing. She knew first-hand how First Order prisoners were interrogated. The dull ache of the memory began to throb, her eyelids now scrunched as she remembered the pain of Kylo forcing his way into her head, attempting to rip information from her. The woman had been lucky that she had been able to fight back, but Poe she wasn’t hopeful for. Rey knew he had undergone the torture once before, knew that he had expressed on many occasions the desire to never undergo it again. She thought of him restrained and beaten on the following transport, surrounded by enemies and trying to keep himself calm. Knowing her friend though, he was probably trying to keep his cool, throwing quick comments in an attempt to cover the nerves he was feeling.

Her own wrists were bound in front of her loosely, giving her the small semblance of comfort with her legs pulled close to her. It was the only thing she could do to keep herself from falling apart. She remembered times when she had done just this as a little girl, curled into herself as a sandstorm beat down on her makeshift home. The howling wind had always frightened her. She had pictured it picking up the AT-AT with her still inside and throwing it well across the desert space. Rey rationally knew it wouldn’t, knew that at most it would build up the sand around it, burying it into a makeshift tomb. Luckily the front was sheltered enough by its legs so that had never happened. Rey knew, even if it had though, no one would have come looking for the abandoned girl. The thought stung. No one would come looking for her because no one would know she was missing. Poe had made it clear that he kept Snips a secret. She only hoped that Poe’s absence would alert Leia.

God, she felt so vulnerable, so small, almost as if she was that child again trying to work out how to survive. Rey was out of her depths, about to be surrounded by enemies that wanted nothing but to hurt her and her friends, except Kylo of course. Rey lifted her head slightly, enough to peak at him through a gap between her leg and arm. He was calm, sitting at the command seat, his hands firmly on the wheel. Every so often she heard the leather of his gloves strain as he made slight adjustments. He still had his helmet on as they weren’t alone. Several Stormtroopers were with them, lining the walls of the shuttle not saying a word. She could tell they were unsure and warry of her by how their guns were on their laps casually, but pointed in her direction. They were set to stun, ordered by Kylo of course, but Rey felt that made them even more on edge; they would rather have her dead body in front of them than an unconscious threat.

“ _Clear for landing,”_ a voice came across the speaker, and Rey tucked her head back down. This was it, there was no running; well, no running until she could find a way to save Poe and get off Star Destroyer they were about to set foot on.

The sound of armour clipping against each other made her aware that the Troopers were starting to stand, getting into position to exit. Rey stayed where she was, not moving until she was forced to. There was no way in hell she was going to make this easy for Kylo. With a jolt, the ship landed. She heard the hiss of the door lowering, and then there was an onslaught of sound. The docking bay was far busier than she had anticipated. She could hear the marching of timed steps, the shrill pierce of drills and maintenance tools Rey would have loved to have if she was still on Jakku, pulling the relic version of the massive ship apart. Everywhere Rey looked, someone was doing something, each person having a job or goal. She wished she wasn’t impressed, but she was; Rey had always wondered what a Star Destroyer looked like fully functional and how many people it took to run such an impressive monstrosity.

“Bring her,” his distorted voice brought her back to reality and Rey swallowed thickly. Two Troopers grabbed her, one under each arm, and dragged her to her feet. He was standing close to her, staring, and he could feel the force around them hum with elation.

Kylo turned away from her, following the Troopers who had put themselves in two lines. Rey scowled at his retreating back, hating that she was now being escorted as his own personal victory prize. She stumbled along with the Troopers holding her tight, their grip careful not to be painful, but tight enough that if she struggled Rey wouldn’t be able to escape them so easily. That didn’t mean Rey would make it easy on them. It just wasn’t in her nature to roll over. She was a fighter, through and through. Yes, she may have accepted that this was inevitable, but Rey wasn’t going to get on her knees like a puppet tied to strings. She twisted, ripping herself from one of the Troopers, and when he went to grab her again she barred her teeth.

“Don’t touch me,” she hissed. She must have looked terrifying in that moment because he dropped back, lifted his weapon to point at her, and trailed behind. The other man wasn’t too fazed, he kept hold of her, marching her forward and following the back of their intimidating leader. It was clear he would rather endure Rey’s anger than Kylo’s.

It was dizzying walking through the ship. It was far bigger than the ones she had traversed, and Rey tried to remember the layout. Each corridor looked the same, her only hope was the signage they came across every so often. She eyed each one, begging that she could retain the order; if she could, then she would make her way back to the ships once she had found Poe. They stopped in front of a door. Kylo raised his hand, pressing it to a pad on the side, and then it slid open. The two troopers didn’t dare go inside, but the one that kept hold of her let go and stepped back into line with the other.

“Come,” Kylo moved to the side of the entrance, waiting for her to move, but she shook her head.

“I want to see him,” Rey snapped.

“Do not test me,” he was calm, but she could sense the threat crackle around her. The ache in her chest sharpened, causing her to gasp at the suddenness of it. “Enter.”

“No,” she gritted her teeth, remaining defiant. “I want to see him.”

“The Pilot is alive,” Kylo assured. He was growing irritated with her, she knew he was, but he wasn’t going to lose his demeanour in front of the Stormtroopers.

“Unharmed?” Rey had seen him take a hit with the butt of a gun before being dragged inside the other ship. She had seen the split in his eyebrow, the blood falling down the side of his face.

“I promised you he would remain alive,” he was gritting his teeth as he talked, his frustration with her growing. “Whether he is unharmed or not depends on the level of respect he shows his captors.”

“Let me see him!” Rey took a step forward, lifting her chin to look up at his masked covered face. He was tall compared to everyone else, but to her he might as well be a skyscraper.

“I do not have time for this,” he grabbed her arm, dragging her inside the room and the door slid closed, beeping as it locked.

……………………….

Kylo walked away from her. He lifted his hands, reaching for his helmet and heard the familiar hiss as he removed it. Rey hadn’t moved from behind him, still standing with her jaw up and shoulders square. She was being stubborn, trying to bait him into a fight, but he was far too exhausted to play that game right now. The dirt of Lothal was all over him, embedded in his clothes, and all he wanted was to wash it away in the fresher before he met with the Supreme Leader. He knew he had failed, that Snoke was desperate for the capture of Rey’s newest mentor. His punishment would be long and drawn out, one he would need to be mentally prepared for, and as much as he wanted nothing more than to touch Rey, to grab her and throw the stubborn woman on his bed, he could not. There were more important matters to attend to. She wasn’t angry, he knew that because if she was he would have felt it. No. She was just making it difficult because she could. She wanted to get under his skin just for the sake of it. He had defeated her, tracked her down, and now she was coming to terms that she had very little control over her situation. Rey was scared, apprehensive, and doing the only thing she could think of that would give her some semblance of retaining control.

“Make yourself at home,” he shot at her smugly. He had no intention of letting her out of his sight, modifying his quarters so it was comfortable to suit two people. She would have something to say about it of course, he didn’t expect Rey to go down without a fight.

“Are you even listening to me?” Rey huffed. Kylo chuckled, shaking his head, then moved towards the door that held his personal fresher.

He had no idea what Rey was doing in his room as he cleaned himself. He didn’t particularly care. Anything worth something to him was hidden away. She could trash the entire place and it wouldn’t bother him. Her giving into her anger was a good thing, it meant she was closer to the darkside which would please him, and Snoke, greatly. He knew she was a tinkerer though. She was probably at the door, trying to pull the hand scanner apart so she could run to her precious pilot. It wouldn’t work of course. Kylo had men, far superior in engineering intellect than her, set up the system. She was smart, intuitive, even instinctual when it came to the mechanical side of things, but Rey grew up working on outdated relics.

The water ran over him, but it did nothing for the tension between his shoulders. He tried not to think of what was to come, but he could already feel the pain of his punishment. Snoke would not be kind. The only respite he had was that Rey would be here, locked away and for him to enjoy when he was able to. He turned the fresher off, leaving it and grabbed a towel. His clean clothes were in the wardrobe, and he left the room to fetch them. It didn’t bother him that he was almost bare for Rey to see. She would, after all, be seeing him this way on many occasions. He felt her watching him though, could sense the way her eyes fixated on him, and even in her frustrated state he felt them trawl down his body. Kylo smirked to himself, deciding not to call her out on it as he feared it would delay him further.

“I will be back later,” he called out to her, slipping his clothes on as he spoke. She was still watching him, situating herself on the couch and he could feel the air of defeat surrounding her. “I suggest using the fresher yourself. There are new clothes for you in your own wardrobe.”

“I’m fine,” the woman bit out, sour from her failed escape attempts.

“A droid will be here soon with some food for you,” He walked over to where he had put his helmet, picking it up with one hand. Kylo stared down at it, his reflection in the black lenses. He could see his scar, her claim on him, and turned to her. Rey was watching him, lips drawn thin, eyes narrowed in an attempted mask of hate.

Clutching his mask tightly, he stalked towards her. Rey’s eyes widened, unsure of his intentions, and when he leant down, his nose brushing against hers, Kylo heard her breath quicken. He crouched in front of her, his helmet thrown on the couch hastily, then he grabbed her waist and pulled. Rey grabbed onto the cushion of the couch, trying to keep herself steady, but she didn’t pull away from him. He closed his eyes, his hands tightening on her waist, and he hated that he felt nervous. Rey was tense, but this was the first time they had been this close since that night, and he could feel that even she was excited. He shouldn’t do it, he couldn’t delay the Supreme Leader any longer, but he couldn’t resist. Kylo pressed his lips against hers, groaning when he felt the force around them spark and twist. He wasn’t gentle with her. He had been denied her for far too long. Rey didn’t back down though. She met him head on, battling him desperately. He felt her legs curl behind his thighs, felt her attempt to pull him closer, and he did as he was asked. Rey whimpered, her hands leaving the couch and clutching onto his shoulders. Her fingers curled into the material, pinching at the skin underneath. It pulled at the restraint Kylo had left, begging him to abandon his task, to throw caution to the universe. He didn’t though. He wanted to survive the punishment enough so that he could indulge himself in her later.

“Wait?!” Rey called out when he pulled away abruptly. He snatched his helmet off the couch, slamming it down on his head and ignoring how uncomfortable his pants had grown. Rey reached out for him, lips still parted, pupils blown, and chest heaving erratically. “You’re leaving?!”

“I’ll be back,” he had to leave, now, or he would be spending the next few days in a bacta tank, away from Rey.

It took everything in him to leave her like that. He had never seen anything so appealing in his entire life, and he congratulated himself for a feat a weaker man wouldn’t have done. She was cursing at him, her need replaced by embarrassed driven anger. She had quite the mouth on her, probably something acquired from her years of a scavenger and surrounded by those far rougher than she should have been. The door closed behind him, the sound of a fist hitting it repeatedly, accompanied by the wicked words her tongue spouted. Kylo sighed, fighting himself. It would be so easy to turn and give them both what they needed, but the Supreme Leader was the priority, not his lustful needs brought about by the unpolished woman.

People moved out of his way as he stormed down the corridors. He was frustrated. His mind unable to shake the image of Rey reaching out for him, wanting him. It was driving him mad, making him want to turn heel and run back to her. He pressed on though, finding Hux standing outside of the chamber looking nervous and skittish like the weasel he was. He acknowledged Kylo, shrinking at his domineering and tightly wound manner. Usually the man had something smart to say, a wise crack at Kylo’s expense about another failed mission, but not today. Hux stepped aside, adams apple bobbing, and Kylo immediately went to the middle of the room and dropped to his knee. Hux remained standing, hands behind his back, the difference between apprentice and military man apparent in how they showed their respect.

“Supreme Leader,” Kylo addressed with his head bowed before looking up. “The woman escaped.”

“You have failed me, again, Kylo Ren,” the disfigured man hissed at him. The two men watched as the figure pushed himself from his seat, leaning to one side. It would have looked weak to anyone else, but they knew it meant Snoke was not in a tolerant mood.

“We have the girl,” Hux spoke this time, trying to take credit for the capture. Kylo sneered at that. Rey was his.

“She came willingly,” Kylo added, “Just as I knew she would.”

“And we have the pilot. The one who knew of the woman’s location,” the ginger haired man stepped forward, taking lead. Kylo knew better. He stayed where he was, ready for what was to come.

“Bring him to me,” Snoke sat back down, his anger slightly abated. “And the girl.”

“Yes, Supreme Leader,” he spoke clearly, his voice not showing his surprise. He had expected Snoke to want an audience with Rey, but not this soon. She was not ready, she was to wild, unpolished. She would get herself killed. Kylo would not argue though.

……………………………………..

Rey lay on the bed, curled into a ball as she whimpered. She had no idea what was happening, but her body was wracked with pain, her nerve endings as if they were on fire. It was awful, truly awful, something she could never have imagined. Something was happening to Kylo, something that made him throw his usually protected mind completely open, sharing the onslaught with her. She cursed him in her mind. Begged him, pleaded with him, to close the connection, to protect her, but it seemed whatever was happening to her, was far worse for him. Rey tried to call out to him, to offer her a comforting hand, but he never met her to welcome it. He rejected it swiftly. She didn’t understand why he wouldn’t take her help. Surely he did not wish to feel this way? Rey sobbed, grabbing a pillow and clutched it to herself. It was awful, truly awful. It took a lot to scare Rey, and this, this terrified her.

When it stopped, Rey was cautious. She prepared herself as she had been lulled into thinking it was over before. Nothing came though, and she felt Kylo shut himself off from her. The connection he had so suddenly opened, closed in the same manner. Rey untucked herself, her body aching and covered in sweat. She hadn’t gone to the fresher as Kylo had suggested, but the idea of the soothing water was calling to her now. With weak legs, she used the furniture to guide her to the room. She was shaking, unsteady from exhaustion. When she finally reached the room, she stripped herself off, stepped in and let the water flow over her. Immediately she sighed, her eyes closed as her muscles eased. She still ached all over, but there was a relief she welcomed happily. Rey stayed in it for as long as she could. Enjoying the luxury of warm, pressurised water.

When she stepped out, she was hesitant. She wanted to sleep now that she felt she could relax. Kylo wasn’t back yet, and she was thankful for that. She wasn’t sure how to face him after that. She was…sympathetic. Rey doubted Kylo would be happy with that. No one, especially him, liked to be pitied. Rey looked to her old clothes. She couldn’t put them back on. They were filthy. She would have to suck up her pride and use the clothes Kylo had offered. Rey went back to the bed, to the wardrobe she assumed was supposed to be hers. She opened it, frowning at the affronting black items. They were practical though, well, most were. Rey noticed a few dresses. Dresses she had no idea what to do with. She was pretty sure she had never owned one her entire life, and she scrunched up her nose. She searched through the items, finding a loose pair of pants and top. They seemed comfortable enough, so she grabbed them, putting them on and enjoyed the bagginess of them.

The door slid open, causing Rey to jump and step back. Kylo limped in, moving to the couch immediately and slumped down in it. He leaned back, his mask still on, and Rey wondered if he had any energy left to take it off. If what she had felt was only a small taste of what he went through, he would be completely wrecked. Rey felt something tug in her, an uncomfortable feeling she couldn’t ignore. She wanted to help him somehow. He didn’t move, not even when Rey made her way over to him. She wondered if he was asleep, but when she reached for his mask, his hand shot up, grabbing her wrist. Rey paused, kicking herself for alarming him.

“Let…,” she muttered, looking away from him as she blushed, “Let me help you.”

“No,” he replied. Rey frowned, not wanting to back down. He looked so uncomfortable.

“Kylo. Let me help you,” she pressed, her tone more of an order than a suggestion. He kept his head back, but his grip was still around her wrist. Rey tried to move her hand towards it, still held by him, and she was surprised when he let her. She felt the cool metal under her fingers as she searched for how to unlatch it. Kylo offered her no help, choosing to stay silent. When her fingers ran over a specific spot, it hissed, and she gently lifted it off. He was staring at her, his eyes wavering in pain and something else she couldn’t place. His hair was still wet from sweat, and she noticed a trail of blood on the side of his lip.

“I’m not weak,” he growled out as she studied his face. Rey shook her head. It hadn’t even crossed her mind.

“I never said you were,” she muttered. He still had a hold of her, refusing to let go.

“Then stop looking at me like that,” Kylo pulled her towards him. Rey yelped. She was lying in his lap, looking up at him completely taken by surprise. “I do not need your help.”

“But you want it,” he stared down at her, watching her closely before he clicked his tongue.

“I want nothing from you,” Kylo pushed her off him and stood. Rey curled her fists, angry with him.

“Then why am I here?” the woman shot back. “If you want nothing from me. Then why chase me across the damn universe?”

“I have work to do,” he brushed her off, limping to a desk off to the side of the room.

“Kylo!” Rey didn’t know why she was so upset. She wished she could understand her own feelings. All she knew was the right now, she wanted nothing but the man’s attention. Attention that he refused to give to her. “You…You…Nerf herder!”

“Really, Rey?” Kylo laughed, actually laughed, and Rey’s face grew red. “That’s the best you can do?”

“I hate you,” she spat, her anger rising. He was making fun of her! She had been nice to him, tried to show him compassion, and he was treating her like she meant nothing.

“You wish you did,” he limped back to her and Rey scrambled to her feet. “What is it you want from me Rey? What is the point of this childish tantrum?”

“I want…,” it was on the tip of her tongue, the words she refused to say.

“I see,” he grinned down at her, his hand grabbing her chin, forcing her to stare up at him. His eyes were dark, hard, the tiredness from before drawing away.

“I want to see Poe,” she breathed out, trying to stop herself from falling into his trap. His fingers tightened on her jaw, and the small smile that had started to curl on his lips dropped.

Kylo regarded her for a moment, his fingers still tight before his hand dropped and whatever excitement that had sparked before in his face swiftly twisted back to portray his exhaustion. Rey blinked, waiting for him to do something, say something, but he didn’t. He just stood an inch from her, staring at her, before he turned around and retreated to the bedroom. Rey would never have thought it was possible, but she felt her stomach knot uncomfortably with guilt. She could have helped him. She had the perfect opportunity to maybe reach the light in him and Rey had stuffed it up. She hadn’t meant too. The woman had freaked out with the way he had stared at her, as if she was a sacrifice offered up for slaughter. Rey was surprised she had kept her emotions contained under his gaze for those few, uncomfortable moments, as now she was trembling. He had wanted her the same way Kylo had wanted her that night on Coruscant, and it had terrified her as well as excited her. Rey looked to the direction he went, tempted to give him what he wanted, but her pride got the better of her. She moved to the couch, thankful the room was kept at a comfortable temperature, so it would be possible to sleep without a blanket.


	14. Chapter 14

Rey groaned as her muscles resisted as she stretched out. Her neck held a slight ache and she slowly sat up with her hand rubbing the area. She had managed to get to sleep fine, exhausted after yesterday’s events, but that didn’t mean the couch was comfortable. Without a pillow, or proper support, it was like sleeping back on her make shift bed in the AT-AT which she did not miss in the slightest. Rey put her feet on the ground, one hand on the cushion and the other still working at her neck as she leaned it to the side. She let out a low hiss when she found a particularly stubborn knot that was painful to work out. Rey froze when she felt someone behind her and cool, leather clad fingers brush against her own. The hand nudge hers from its spot before pressing down, the thumb working deeper than she had been able to herself. Rey wanted to swat him away, to curse at him and order him not to touch her, but she chose not to. The knot was easing and as much as she hated herself for it, she let out a low groan. Kylo chuckled, continuing to knead the spot until it had been worked out, and then he slipped his hand forward, his fingers moving to under her chin. He turned her face towards him, and Rey was disappointed when she was met with her reflection in the black of his mask.

“Behave,” he ordered softly before letting her face go. Rey stood up, ready to demand once again that he allow her to see her friend but was met with this hiss of the door opening and closing. She cursed his long legs under her breath before plonking herself back down on the couch. It seemed she would be on her own for a while.

“Prick,” Rey muttered to herself. Even if he wasn’t around to hear her insult in person, she knew damn well he would hear it in his mind. She was right, earning herself a chuckle from his end on the connection.

 _“Behave,”_ he repeated, more a warning this time than an order. Rey huffed, narrowing her eyes and envisioning him in front of her with a smug smile on his face. Behave? Her? Did he really expect her to sit around on her hands and wait for him to come back and do god knows what to her?

Rey immediately grew restless. She stood determined and moved around the room, grabbing whatever she thought could help her. Rey didn’t care that their closer proximity than that in the past made their connection stronger and that Kylo could probably feel her intention from wherever he had headed off too. She just knew she had to get to Poe and make sure he was okay. If he had been hurt because of her, Rey didn’t know what she would do with herself. The pilot had been the one to stick by her side. He had never judged her, never berated her, nor did he distance himself intentionally. No. He had fought for her, trusted her, and Rey was not going to let him rot in some cell.

Rey moved towards the control panel she had inspected the previous day. She had of course tried then to pull it apart and get to the wires inside that she knew would open the door between her and the hallway outside. It had been welded shut so tightly that without proper equipment it would be impossible to wedge the cover off and Rey didn’t dare to use the force; Galaxy forbid Kylo felt her use it and catch her before she even had the chance to make a decent attempt at fleeing. That had left her with very little options, one in particular which she knew was flimsy, but the most viable. Rey had in her hand the metal knife she had stashed after her dinner. The First Order seemed to rely on droids for menial tasks and without strict programming small things were overlooked; such as the knife. It was blunt sadly, the edge only suitable for soft foods that didn’t need a serrated edge but that wouldn’t stop Rey. She had used blunt objects before to pry things apart while scavenging. 

Rey took a deep breath as her other hand searched around the welded edges. She could see clearly the fusing of the metal was recent, the screws that had previously held it in place removed. The edges weren’t smooth, so she knew if she found a weakness and used the right leverage it could be possible. She took her time, feeling every inch until Rey felt the dip of a small area that had been missed. She sucked in her breath, her chest filling with an anxious hope. Rey tilted her head, dropping her finger just below the fault and eyed it. She gently lifted the knife, careful to place it in the small crevasse. It was enough to just get the tip in and she had to wriggle it around with a decent amount of pressure before it gave any sign of cracking. The progress was small, time consuming but she knew once she opened the gap wide enough she could find something sturdier. The woman bit her lip, putting more weight behind it. She almost jumped when the welded joint cracked and she was able to lift the panel slightly.

With quick hands, Rey pulled out her second makeshift tool. Like her, it seemed Kylo was a bit of a tinkerer and when she had looked under the couch she had found a screwdriver. The knife kept the gap open just enough for her to slip the thicker metal object in. Rey then put her foot on the base of the wall, wrapped both hands around the handle, and leant backwards as far as she could. She had hoped by putting her full weight into it the panel would budge, and Rey was relieved that she was right. Her fall to the ground was far from graceful. Once the panel gave way, flipping open with a sudden jolt, Rey was throw backwards with the sudden release and land on her behind with a painful thud. She gave a small yell of surprise when it went, hissing when she hit the ground, but the elation of her success brushed that aside quickly.

Rey jumped up, reaching inside and searching for the wiring she knew would open the door. She used the knife again, slipping it behind the two wires and pulling them downwards so that they split in two. She then stripped back the rubber covers, exposing the wires inside and twisted them together. Confident, Rey eyed the door, waiting, and when nothing happened she frowned. Rey was certain those were the right wires. She had seen them numerous times on the old ships and it wasn’t hard to work out. The veteran scavenger double checked the wire, frowning even further when she discovered she had done it right. Red to blue, blue to red.

A few seconds later, the door slid open and Rey started to grin before it dropped completely. Kylo stood in front of her, his helmet tilted downwards and two Storm Troopers behind him with guns pointed. Rey swallowed thickly, knowing she was caught, that somehow, he had set her up and was just waiting to catch her red handed. She took a step back, dropping her tools to the ground in a form of admission. There was no point in trying to lie. Kylo crouched down, picking them up and lifting them so he could inspect them. Rey noticed the Troopers behind him shift uncomfortably when a low chuckled came from the back of his throat, distorted by his mask, but an obvious sign of amusement they had probably never expected from the Sith apprentice.

“Impressive,” he commented, handing them backwards to the Trooper on his left who took them quickly. “I’ll have to make sure someone capable of counting cutlery brings you your meals from now on.”

“You tricked me,” Rey bit out, unhappy she had been a fool made of.

“Tested,” Kylo replied. “I wanted to see how resourceful you really are.”

“Why?” the woman sighed, exasperated that he knew her more than she wished. “What is the point!?”

“It’s a good trait to have,” he hummed, waving off his makeshift companions before stepping into the room. The door closed behind him and it was then Rey noticed a soft blue light disappear.

“Biometrics,” Rey muttered, completely deflating. She may have origins as a scavenger, but she was not an expert and had learned hands on from outdated technology. Biometrics was far beyond her skill knowledge.  

“Did you really think I would be so naïve and leave your confinement in the hands of a few, easily manipulated wires?” Rey really, really hated that she watched him lift his hands to remove his helmet, eagerly waiting to see the face hidden within.

“No,” she grumbled, her eyes meeting his finally before flicking to his lips and the corners that had turned slightly upwards. “Did you really expect me not to try?”

“I would have been disappointed if you hadn’t,” Kylo admitted freely. Rey hated that he seemed so relaxed. She also hated that this man who was or who had been her enemy, felt he could talk to her in that amused tone as if it was the most natural thing in the world. There wasn’t anything natural about their situation at all. He should not be so calm, so relaxed, and he shouldn’t be staring at her with soft eyes as if he cared. “You continue to meet my expectations.”

“I would rather fail them,” Rey pulled herself away from him quickly, needing distance from his intense presence. She wanted to be mad at him, to spit venomous words in his direction, but being so close to him seemed to strip the intent from her. Rey felt any insult would lack any backing and she had a feeling he knew that too.

“It’s alright,” Rey heard him hum from behind her. She tensed as his hand rested on the back of her neck, his thumb rubbing softly at the base of it before he leant forward. Rey could feel his breath behind her ear, rattling her at the unexpected close proximity. His long legs had allowed him to close the space she had desired to create without her standing a chance. “I can wait for you to come to me. After all, little scavenger, you have nowhere else to run.”

The hand was gone, and Rey hated that she immediately missed it. She was far out of her comfort zone and a part of her was reaching out for some of reassurance. Being behind enemy lines was disorientating and it would be nice to have someone to anchor onto, even if it was Kylo Ren of all people. Rey was certain he had no intention of hurting her or fighting her. No, he wanted more from her than that now, hell, he just wanted her. A shudder ripped through her at the thought, one she wished wasn’t pleasant.

“Kylo…,” Rey sucked in her breath between her teeth, hating what she was about to do. She wasn’t one for begging or pleading, but she was clearly running out of moves. He turned, data pad in hand, but he looked up, eyes slightly wide at how softly she addressed him.

“Yes?” he raised his brows and Rey noticed the way the scarred side of his face lifted higher than the other.

“I…,” her throat turned dry and she swallowed thickly. “Please can I see Poe?”

“So, you do have manners,” Kylo snickered and Rey growled in the back of her throat when he ignored her request, going back to focusing on whatever was on his data pad.

“Please,” she tried again, her voice growing tense but attempting to bite her tongue. “I just…”

“Just what?” he still didn’t look at her, using his finger to flick the screen. Rey wanted to throw something at him and her eyes darted around the room in search of a heavy object. “Just what, Rey?”

“I just want to know that he’s okay,” Rey relented. The plan forming in her head that maybe if she found an object hard enough to knock him out and prop him up to open the door completely unrealistic. He was a giant compared to her and his dead weight would be unmanageable for her without using the force.

“Five minutes,” he nodded. Rey blinked. “You’ll be surprised how far manners can get you, Rey.”

“You’re letting me because I said please?” the Jedi was gobsmacked.

“I’m letting you because you asked, not demanded,” he put the data pad down, walking over to her once again and Rey looked up. “And I may have enjoyed the sound of you begging.”

Rey felt her cheeks warm and she knew there was no hiding the clear red tinge. She watched as Kylo’s lips pulled into a genuine smile before leaning down. Rey was frozen on the spot and she could hear her heartbeat start pounding in her ears. She knew at some point that this would happen; Rey had envisioned in her mind several outcomes which ended with him either cut in half or his head snapped to the side after her fist connecting with his cheek but that didn’t happen. Instead her hands stayed at her sides, dangling uselessly as she felt his lips lightly meet hers. Rey felt stuck. Almost as if her brain had ice tipped over it and her body had lost any, and all instincts.

“Come along,” he stood straight, putting his helmet back on quickly and Rey continued to stare up at him. She was certain that this was it, the moment that both of them knew would happen the second he had her cornered. She must have looked disappointed because she felt the force around her hum with his satisfaction. “Unless you would rather stay here with me?”

“I want to see Poe,” Rey recoiled, horrified with herself that she had even considered it for a split second. Kylo didn’t seemed fazed by her answer, placing his hand on her lower back and directing her towards the door she had tried to hack her way out of.

“Don’t make me regret this,” the playful tone was gone, replaced with a stern, distorted warning that made Rey worry about her friend’s safety and not her own.

………………………………….

Poe leaned his head back on the wall, looking up to the roof with his one good eye. His other was swollen shut thanks to the rather brutal hit to the right side of his face he had received due to his smart mouth. He didn’t mind though. He was used to a few scrapes and bruises; it went along with the job description. He could feel the dried blood settled into his eyebrow, the butt of the rifle splitting skin, and he lifted his cuffed together hands to attempt to scrape some of it off. Flecks fell, releasing the slight tension from the area and Poe let out a soft sigh. It wasn’t much, but it gave a small comfort. The ground wasn’t very comfortable, but it appeared the First Order didn’t think him special enough to give him a bed. He tensed his legs, making sure he didn’t get any unwelcomed pins and needles in them before letting his mind wander.

He thought of Rey. He wondered if she was alright and if she was being held in a similar cell. Poe would prefer that as the alternative was not a pleasant thought. The Resistance Pilot took a deep breath in. He was trying his best not to think of the situation Rey was in. He was forcing himself to picture her as just another prisoner of the First Order, but Poe knew that wasn’t the truth. He had seen the way that monster had held her, his arms tight around her possessively. There was no way Kylo Ren would let her out of his sight, not after all the trouble he had gone through to track her down. It was why Poe had gotten himself captured. He knew how hard it had been for Rey, knew that the path she was heading down could be twisted by the monster that had taken advantage of her. Poe needed to be here, to be near her, so that she didn’t forget where she had come from. Rey needed to remember that she had friends willing to do anything to protect her. So, Poe would make that sacrifice because he feared for the galaxy if he didn’t.

“Poe,” a whispered voice drew his head to the side. Rey was standing at the door, Kylo Ren looming behind her. Poe grinned wide though. He didn’t care that the monster had come with her, he was just pleased to see his friend was alright. “Poe…what did they do to you?”

Rey rushed forward, dropping to her knees and placed a hand either side of his face. Poe grinned widely at her, happy that she hadn’t been further tainted by the vile Kylo Ren. He must look mad smiling at her in the manner he was, face bruised and trails of dried blood. Rey’s face was creased with furrowed brows as she inspected him.

“You said he wasn’t hurt,” Rey didn’t look at the other person in the room as she spoke. “You promised me.”

“I promised no such thing.” Poe hated the sound of the modulated voice that came from Kylo Ren’s mask. He remembered it clearly the first day he had encountered the man when searching for the map of Luke Skywalker’s whereabouts. It was amazing to Poe how long ago that felt now. “I said he would not be killed.”

“Look at him!” Rey growled out, but her eyes were soft as she pressed around the area of his eye. Poe jolted away from her fingers as a sharp pain hit the area.

“He was warned,” Poe watched as Rey’s lips parted and a sigh slipped out. She was obviously exhausted from dealing with the man and chose to disengage from the dead-end argument.

“I’m fine,” Poe finally spoke, and his friend’s face relaxed at hearing his voice. “This is nothing.”

“You look a mess,” she pointed out, finally removing her hands and sitting back on her heels. Poe took a moment to take her in. She seemed to be okay and he couldn’t see any sign of injury. He moved his eyes to her neck, looking for any sign of other markings as he was sure Ren had a possessive streak. She was clean, thankfully, but he wasn’t sure how long that would last for. Even with Ren’s stupid mask on Poe could feel the tension seeping from the man.

“Few days and the swelling will be gone,” Poe shrugged, not wanting to worry the woman more than she needed to be.

“They haven’t given you any medical treatment?” he let out a laugh at that. The First Order give medical treatment on prisoners? That was a joke and a half.

“How are you?” he changed the subject, knowing they probably only had a small amount of time together and Poe wanted to know that she was okay.

“I’m…alright,” she forced an awkward smile. “Just a sore neck from sleeping on the couch.”

“Guess I’m not the only one not given the luxury of a bed,” Poe chuckled. “Gotta say, this floor doesn’t give the best lumbar support.”

“Ah…yeah,” Rey looked away from him. She was embarrassed, and Poe felt his stomach drop.

“Rey…,” he started cautiously, growing alarmed, “Where are you staying? They’ve given you your own room at least?!”

“I’m fine,” she tried to reassure him. “Really Poe. I can look after myself.”

“That’s not the point,” Poe hissed. He glared at Ren, anger and disgust rising within him. “What are you afraid of Ren? Scared that Rey will run the second you turn your back?”

“Times up,” the man ignored him, grabbing Rey by the wrist and causing her to stumble to a stand. Poe did not like that one bit.

“Don’t let him use me as leverage,” Poe bit out sourly at Rey. “Don’t you dare do something you don’t want to for my sake. You got that?”

“I…,” Rey paled, and Poe should have regretted even suggesting that the monster that had his arm now wrapped around her waist to force her out of the room would do such a thing.

“Fight, Rey,” he yelled, clambering to and rushing for the door as it closed. “Don’t stop fighting!”


End file.
